How to have sex in the shower - plus exciting shower sex positions to try out

Become an expert at sex in the shower with our best tips and tricks for a successful shower session

Couple dressed in white bath robes, laughing and coming out of the bathroom in a hotel after having sex in the shower
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Sex in the shower always seems like a great idea after you see it on screen. From Casino Royale to Fifty Shades Darker, Grey's Anatomy to Orange Is The New Black, a scene can go from damp to super-steamy in just a few seconds - but is it actually achievable in real life?

Much like everything else that happens in the movies, all the awkward parts are cut out. In reality, there's a real risk of slipping, mascara running down your face, and no room to turn around in the shower - let alone get all the right angles. But that doesn't mean you have to give up on having shower sex just yet.

From the pitfalls best avoided to the best sex positions, we've unpacked everything there is to know about how to have sex in the shower with the help of Lovehoney's resident sex expert, Sammi Cole (opens in new tab), to help you have your best shower sex ever. 

How to have sex in the shower 

1. Buy a non-slip bath mat

It's not the sexiest of purchases but, trust us, when it comes to having sex in the shower, you don't want to lose your footing. Pick out a rubber bath mat that has suction cups on the bottom so it will stick firmly to the base of your shower. The last thing you want to be worrying about when you're trying to make sex in the shower work is whether you're going to slip over. 

2. Use plenty of lube

Another important thing to be aware of before attempting shower sex is that water is in no way a lubricant, so you'll also need to invest in one of the best lubes before getting started. 

"Silicone-based lubricant will be better than water-based in this case," says Sammi Cole, a sex expert who works with Lovehoney on their range of toys. "Unlike water-based lubricant, silicone doesn't dissolve in water and it lasts for longer, meaning your play will be more comfortable and it will likely last longer. But it does make everything much more slippery, including the shower floor, so be careful not to spill any when applying."

3. Point the shower head at your chest or legs

The shower should be the setting for your steamy moment, not part of the fun. "If a lot of water gets into your, or your partner's, vagina then it can cause a lot of problems," Cole explains, pointing to a 2020 study by Near East University (opens in new tab) that linked vaginal douching with a higher risk of infection.  

"Water in the vagina can flush out all of the good bacteria that helps to keep your vulva healthy," she says. "And it can also wash away any of the body's natural lubrication, which can cause discomfort if you don't apply plenty of lube."

You don't have to leave the shower head totally fixed to the wall though. "Some people enjoy directing the stream of water from the shower head at their various other erogenous zones, like nipples. However, depending on what type of shower head you have, it may not be a sensation that everyone likes so it's worth exploring your own first." 

4. Set the mood

Logistics out the way, you want your shower sex to be as hot as possible - but let's face it, bathrooms aren't always the most erotic of settings. Firstly, make sure your bathroom is clean. It may sound obvious but as survey research (opens in new tab) suggests that 40% of Americans clean their bathrooms once a month or less, it's a point worth making.

Secondly, think about the lighting. "Natural daylight will almost always be more flattering than overhead lighting," says Cole. "But not everyone has the time to have sex during the day, let alone a shower sex session. If you are having sex in the evening, try lighting the bathroom with candles." 

And thirdly, think about smells. "You get bonus points if your candle is scented," she adds. 

5. Find the right temperature

Before stepping into the shower, make sure your water is running at a good temperature for both of you. A burst of cold or scalding water first thing is going to be a huge mood-killer, confirms Cole. 

"Temperature does make a big difference to your shower session," she says. "Too cold and it'll be distracting and potentially difficult to stay in the mood. Too hot and it could be painful on your skin, or make you feel light-headed and make you more likely to slip."

6. Bring toys into the bathroom

Bringing your best vibrator into the shower with you won't only spice things up a bit, it'll take the pressure off you or your partner to make this challenging setting work the first time around. 

A waterproof vibe or dildo is perfect, Cole says. "Practically any sex toys without motors if they're not waterproof, such as a dildo, can be used safely. Many vibrators are also safe for sub-aquatic use as well, just make sure that the description online or on the packaging says that they're waterproof or at least water resistant, not just splash-proof." 

If you're heading into the shower on your own or you have a shower that's a little bigger than the standard cubicle, there are particular toys that will work with the environment well. "A suction cup dildo sticks very easily to tiles or the base of a shower, allowing you to enjoy it at practically any angle."

7. Think about protection

This won't be a problem for everyone who wants to have sex in the shower, but it's still worth considering as it's easy to forget protection when you're caught up in the moment and out of your normal surroundings. 

"It's worth noting that condoms haven't yet been approved for the shower. They could slip or heat from the water could cause them to break," expert Cole warns. "Be sure to take other contraceptive steps, or use the shower as light foreplay and wait until you're dry before heading somewhere where you can safely use them again."

Sun streaming through a window of a bathroom with shower head and hose against the wall

(Image credit: Getty Images)

The best shower sex positions 

Choosing the right sex positions can definitely help when it comes to having sex in the shower safely. But, when there’s barely space to bend for the soap, things can get awkward - and fast. There's unfortunately no vertical version of the speed bump sex position to make things easier either.

"The positions that work best tend to be those that make the most of the walls for extra support," explains Cole. "For most of us, showers don't really give a lot of space or offer convenient handholds, but there are some really good sex positions to try out in the shower."

1. BACK MASSAGE BLOWJOB

How to do it: “Fold up a towel and put it below your knees,” says Julia Margo, co-founder of Hot Octopuss (opens in new tab), a sex toy brand working to break down the stigma behind sexual expression. “Your partner will stand opposite the shower head while you kneel in front of them and give them oral sex.”

Why it’s great: “The warm shower feels amazing for you while you go down on them, plus, you shouldn't struggle for space and both of you won't be sliding around trying to make tricky angles work," Margo says, adding that partners can take turns with this position and it works for everyone, as this is also one of the best lesbian sex positions for the shower.

“If you have a vulva and are the one standing you might want to prop a foot on the side of the tub to give your partner better access," Monika Makarewicz, founder of unique sex toy brand Godemiche (opens in new tab), suggests.

Make it sexier: Pick up one of the best wand vibrators (make sure it's waterproof before buying for the shower), and take it in with you. Your partner can massage down your back at the same time. 

2. THE BEND & SPLASH

How to do it: “Facing away from your partner, bend over so there’s a 90-degree angle at your hips,” says Margo. “You can stabilize yourself by pressing your hands into the wall while your partner penetrates you from behind.”

Why it’s great: “They’ll also get a nice warm back massage from the shower water while they’re behind you,” says Margo. Plus, it will target your G-Spot for really deep penetration.

Make it sexier: Try adding in some foreplay beforehand. Why not get into the shower clothed and remove the garments as they get wet and see-through. “Plus, when naked, angle the shower head so that the water flows down your back and down their chest,” she adds. You could also bring a bullet vibrator into the shower for this position, allowing you or your partner to stimulate the clitoris at the same time. 

3. SITTING SLIP ’N’ SLIDE

How to do it: “Just because you stand in the shower does not mean you have to do that when it comes to getting it on with your partner,” says Makarewicz. “Get your partner to sit down in the shower and lean back against the wall and you can sit astride them.”

Why it’s great: You can choose to sit facing them, or away in a reverse cowgirl pose. “Facing them means lots of kissing,” says Makarewicz. “Facing away from your partner means they can use the hot soapy water to massage your back and buttocks while you take a ride.”

Make it sexier: As you’re sitting down, it’s safe to add plenty of lube as you won’t slip over and hurt yourself so make the most of this and as you're sitting so close you each other, you could try some dirty talk. Take inspiration from sex stories you've heard before, or some of the best porn for women.

4. BRACE FOR PLEASURE

How to do it: “One of the best positions for shower sex is standing bracing yourself against the wall with your partner in front of you with the water pouring between you,” recommends Makarewicz.

Why it’s great: “You get the heat from the water and the stimulation from your partner at the same time,” says Makarewicz. “Also being able to brace yourself up against the wall gives you a firmer footing and you are less likely to slip over.”

Make it sexier: Adding a couple’s vibrator, such as the We-Vibe Sync, or adding a cock ring to your sex play could enhance the pleasure for both of you. Going for a hands-free sex toy means you won’t lose any stability during the action. Turning the lights off may seem dangerous, but it could really make your other senses, such as touch, feel even more intense.

How to make shower sex work if there's a height difference

If your partner is significantly taller than you - or you're taller than them - things can get tricky as most of the shower sex positions need to be done standing up. 

"Those who are shorter can use something to allow them to raise one leg as this makes penetration from behind easier," Cold says. "If you’re taller, try leaning your back against the wall. Then wrap one leg around their hips for support as they enter you." 

Faye M Smith is an award-winning journalist with over 15 years experience in the magazine industry. Her continued work in the area of natural health won her the coveted title of the Health Food Manufacturers’ Association (HFMA) Journalist of the Year Award 2021. Currently Health Editor across several brands including woman&home, Woman and Woman’s Own, Faye specialises in writing about mental health, the menopause, and sex and relationships.