My brilliant first-ever beauty director, Jo GB, taught me so many important lessons about writing, but one that's stuck with me is that "talking about the weather means you have nothing more interesting to say."
So every week, I resist kicking off this column by stating the obvious re: sun. But it's getting harder as this pleasingly (albeit slightly worrying on a deeper level) warm and dry spring marches on.
Our collective desire to find the best self tan, or the best facial sunscreen is as apparent in my WhatsApp groups as it is search engine statistics. Fine, I'll admit it: it's really blimmin' glorious and it's all anyone can think or talk about. So I'll talk about it too, via a product that's fast-tracked my pallor straight into the heart of sunny season.
Why this hydrating gradual face tanner is my beauty buy of the week
As a peely-wally Scottish beauty editor, I've tried 1001 iterations of the best fake tans for pale skin - and could probably write a dissertation on the distinct merits of gradual vs instant vs mousse vs spray.
One category I have seen explode in recent years are facial tanners. These are usually gradual tans with adaptable, no-rinse formulas - very useful when time is short but you want to look even-toned and glowy under, or without, makeup. And I've just tried a very fine example of the genre.
Self-tanners can be drying on the whole, but Gatineau has absolutely rammed this with seven weights of hyaluronic acid to draw moisture into various layers of your skin for a plumping effect. It also contains plant-derived antioxidants, barrier boosting Vitamin E and quenching Aloe Vera.
Texturally, it's more of a light, elegant fluid than a serum. Three hours after I applied it, an even glow arrived and the dehydration lines under my eyes faded. It smells of nothing while developing, which is when eau de baked potato usually emerges, and I appreciate the light/medium and medium/dark options. Plenty of skins look great with a tan, not just pale ones like mine.
There's an ease to Golden Glow. Face tanning drops that mix into your moisturiser sound convenient, but you have to work out how much to use, what to mix it with and how to do that without the concentrated drops staining your skin. This pre-mixed tube does the work for you - one pump or two, spread it on, wash your hands, and you're golden.
My trusty tube of Golden Glow and subtly bronzed skin after applying
Seeing as I'm being honest about the weather, shall we talk about tanning? Doing it the old-fashioned way, i.e. from the sun, has gone the same way as smoking cigarettes or using a gas-guzzling 4x4 for school drop off in cities. Bit frowned upon.
This is for such obvious reasons I won't go into them - not this week anyway, let's see how long the hot spell lasts. But, those who remember long SPF15-slathered sunlounger sessions probably also recall (whisper it) how good it felt to bask yourself all toasty and golden.
I think it's ok to admit this forbidden pleasure while remaining dedicated to resisting those rays. And resist we must. Because - aside from charging up on Vitamin D like a lizard on a rock - self-tanner replicates all the best bits of sunbathing without trying to seriously harm you in the process. Sound good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday.
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