Only 3 in 10 women over 40 make time to masturbate more than once a month. We get it – you have things to do, places to go, people to see. But what if we told you that investing in a sex toy could not only improve your health, but render everything from your early morning alarm call to your evening curled up with an audiobook an infinitely more enjoyable experience?
The benefits of using a vibrator are as varied as they are numerous. Even if you don’t orgasm, masturbation improves circulation (boosting memory), releases endorphins (which help to relieve stress), decreases blood pressure and fights menopausal symptoms including dryness and narrowing of the vagina (which means that, when you do have sex with a partner, you’ll enjoy it more). The release of oxytocin during masturbation has been found to increase pain threshold and tolerance, and may even help to prevent cancerous breast cells from developing into tumours.
Could an orgasm a day beat your customary apple when it comes to keeping the doctor away? It has to be worth a try. We’ve made it easy for you to slot yours into your schedule with our pick of the best multi-tasking vibrators on the market.
1. The one that ‘wakes you up with an orgasm’
Imagine, if you will, a world in which your alarm clock induces joy, rather than misery. That’s the promise of Little Rooster S, the vibrating alarm clock – worn inside your underwear (but outside your body) – that wakes you up with gentle vibrations which gradually increase, over the course of five minutes, to your chosen level. There are 30 speed settings, the first 27 of which are, apparently, virtually silent. It’s phthalate-free and comes complete with travel lock, one year warranty and, yes, a snooze mode.
The toy has won rave reviews from users, some of whom have taken advantage of its portability to liberate it from the confines of the bedroom – like the woman who set hers to go off twenty minutes into a blind date. Well, it’s certainly one way to ensure a satisfying evening out.
Little Rooster S, £69, Little Rooster Store
2. The one that ‘makes exercise fun’
How many of us actually bother with Kegel exercises, even if we know that a strong pelvic floor makes sex more fun and leaky bladders less likely? Well, one company has made it their mission to remove tedium from the equation, with a vibrating pelvic floor exerciser. The kGoal is a silicone air-filled pillow. Insert, squeeze and you’ll be rewarded with (good) vibrations. The harder you squeeze, the stronger the vibrations. If that isn’t sufficient motivation, the device also links to your phone via an app which allows you to track gains in strength and endurance over time. Now we just need one for every other body part…
kGoal Smart Pelvic Floor Exerciser, £99, Amazon
3. The one that jazzes up your décolleté
Going away? Then you might prefer something a little less conspicuous. Doubling up as a chic pendant, this is one vibrator that won’t leave you red-faced at airport security. It’ll also jzhuh up a little black roll neck a treat…
Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace, £155, Coco de Mer
4. The one that brings your favourite books to life
This ‘smart’ vibrator, which, apparently, you can wear on the bus, links up with hundreds of erotic audiobooks (including the likes of Fifty Shades of Grey) via a free smartphone app. When the action hots up, so will you… The words “I’m touching you softly,” for instance, will set it to vibrate gently.
And that’s not all. A partner who downloads the app to their own phone will be able to control your toy’s vibrations from anywhere in the world… there’s even a video call option. And it’s waterproof.
Vibease Wearable Smart Vibrator, £79.99, Firebox
5. The music lover’s choice
The Lelo Siri 2 boasts 8 vibration settings associated with the rhythms of different styles of music – classical, reggae, rumba, folk, hip hop, soul, techno and jazz. But set it to ‘sound responsive’ mode and its vibrations will sync with the sounds in your ambient environment – from your favourite CD to your lover’s voice and even, apparently, your own sighs! It’s guaranteed to make your next music concert an unforgettable experience…
Not quite ready to risk a public ‘When Harry Met Sally’ moment? Why not run a bath and crank up the sound system, instead? It’s 100% waterproof… Keen singer? You can even incorporate the Lelo into your vocal warm up – according to vocal coaches, it’s a great massage tool for the larynx!
Lelo Siri 2 Luxury Clitoral Vibrator
, £129.99, Lovehoney
6. The one that lets you FaceTime… from the inside out
Have you ever wondered what an orgasm looks like from the inside? Well, wonder no more. The Svakom vibrator, dubbed the ‘vaginal selfie stick’, boasts a built-in illuminated HD camera, allowing you to create a very personal sex tape. And, thanks to its FaceTime compatibility, you can even share the footage with a partner in real time!
Svakom Selfie Camera Vibrator, £119.99, Love Honey