'Nobody in my life has the same setup as we do' - comedian Ellie Taylor on her 'unusual' marriage arrangement

Comedian Ellie Taylor is well known for her TV and radio appearances. Recognisable from a multitude of comedy panel shows, hosting the likes of Bake Off: The Professionals and flexing her acting skills in Ted Lasso, her face is everywhere.

While her name is associated with comedy, she recently sat down for a candid, and often serious chat with Ateh Jewel for an episode of the Second Act Podcast.

During their conversation, Ellie offered insight into her "unusual" marriage setup with reporter Phil Black.

The pair married in 20214 and have two children, a daughter born in 2018, and a son born in 2023.

Discussing how her marriage to Phil works, Ellie shares, "Do you know, my husband's a stay-at-home dad?" She adds that because of this, she finds it challenging to let go of the role of primary carer and ends up "micromanaging" her husband.

The comedian continues to talk about feeling a little lost about how her marriage should work, as "there's no example to follow," explaining, "I don't know one in my life who has the same setup as us, we don't have anyone who's a stay at home dad."

"So we are kind of making up as we go along," she continues, adding, "And it's really interesting when the power dynamic or the the classic power dynamic of the, 'mum at home, dad at work' shifts. It's quite weird because you're kind of in free fall."

Ellie Taylor: No one has a marriage set up like we do – it's hard | Second Act - YouTube

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While not having anyone close to them to model their role reversal marriage on has been challenging, Ellie also shares that she misses out on things such as meeting other mothers at the school gates.

While also trying to work out their place in the relationship, the comedian shares that while Phil does a lot of the "heavy lifting" when it comes to raising their children, she still ends up carrying a lot of the "mental load stuff."

While she understands this needn't be the case, asserting Phil would carry some of this pressure if needed, she succumbs to societal pressure for it to be the woman who does certain jobs for her children.

"It's both of their birthdays coming up and I'm ordering so much stuff," she explains, adding, "I think it's not because he wouldn't do it, but sometimes it's because I think I should do it."

"It's so in me that 'I am the mother, this is what I should do,' and I involve myself in things that I shouldn't be involved in. I should like just let him do his thing."

Explaining that her husband has been a stay-at-home dad "for a few years now," Ellie says of their non-traditional roles, "So we're sort of getting there, but it's it's still a work in progress."

Candidly opening up about how challenging it is to have a young family and maintain a relationship, the comedian says what some people can be frightened of voicing.

"It's hard for sure, but I think that's just marriage, isn't it? As well, particularly marriage with young kids."

"It's like we're just co-workers at the moment," she says, concluding, "I assume in a few years we'll tag back in and actually be able to have a life."