Brooklyn Beckham and the rise of family estrangement

In a much-discussed series of recent Instagram Stories, Brooklyn Peltz Beckham, the 26-year-old eldest son of Sir David and Lady Victoria Beckham, publicly confirmed that he does not want to reconcile with his parents amid a painful family rift.

Laying bare his experience - from feeling controlled by his family’s use of the press to feeling humiliated as his mother ‘hijacked’ the first dance at his wedding - Brooklyn’s post states that he has chosen to speak out now to provide peace, happiness and privacy for him and his wife. As he put it, ‘I do not want to reconcile with my family. I’m not being controlled. I’m standing up for myself for the first time in my life.’

Whilst it’s unusual to see such frankness from a high-profile figure, Brooklyn’s statement shows that family estrangement can happen to anyone, even the picture-perfect Beckham clan or indeed the Royal family.

For many individuals trying to navigate complicated family relationships during significant life transitions, creating such distance can seem the only way to protect one’s mental health and sense of self. According to psychologist Dr Lucy Blake, family estrangements have become more common as well as more publicly acknowledged in recent years.

‘Robust research shows that around one in four adults will experience a period of estrangement from a parent at some point in their lives. For many, though not all, that distance is temporary rather than permanent. Estrangement is so often framed as a battle, with parents and children positioned on opposing sides, generations split into camps. Yet what sits beneath most estrangements are very human feelings: hurt, confusion, disappointment, and the sense of being judged or misunderstood.’

In decades past, the unspoken rule was simple: family stays together. Today, cultural expectations have shifted with people more willing and able than ever to talk openly about the challenges of family relationships. As Lucy explains

‘We’re learning that family can be both our deepest support and our deepest wound. The crucial difference now is that people have more language to describe that wound and more permission - socially and therapeutically - to address it.’

This decrease in stigma and increase in dialogue can also be seen on social media. Words like ‘trauma’ ‘boundaries’ and ‘toxic’ populate millions of TikTok, Instagram and Reddit threads, giving people a framework to label experiences they may have struggled to articulate before.

Family therapist and Systemic Psychotherapist Diana Goldin sees pros and cons to this growing use of ‘therapy language’ online, which can validate pain but risk over-simplifying family stories.

‘Social media has made family conflict far more visible and, at times, more polarised. It can reduce shame and help people feel less alone, but it can also flatten complex family dynamics into labels and soundbites. When deeply personal pain is filtered through online narratives, nuance and mutual complexity are easily lost.’

Whilst opinions vary on the merits of discussing such emotive topics openly, experts agree that the stakes for everyone involved are high. As Diana explains

‘Even when estrangement feels necessary, it often carries long-term emotional costs — including grief for the family one hoped for, not just the one that exists. People may also encounter guilt, doubt, or sadness at life milestones where absence is felt more sharply. Considering these costs doesn’t mean estrangement is wrong; it simply means it is rarely emotionally neutral.’

The fallout inevitably extends beyond the person initiating the separation. Such major family changes don’t occur in a vacuum but create significant emotional shockwaves. Parents often experience confusion and pain, whilst siblings may feel their loyalties torn while trying to understand a rupture that feels deeply bewildering.

One of the thorniest questions revolves around distance – when is it healthy, and when is it damaging? – which is rarely black and white. According to Diana, the key distinction is whether the distance is a thoughtful choice or an unprocessed reaction. She advises that distancing oneself becomes more damaging when it is rigid, reactive and driven by unresolved trauma.

Yet she also stresses that distancing can be healthy when it reduces exposure to harm and creates space for emotional regulation, reflection and healing. Brooklyn himself says his anxiety has eased and he feels more at peace since stepping away from his parents.

The long term impact of such family divides is impossible to predict. Whilst reconciliation isn’t guaranteed, and shouldn’t be expected, it is possible. For that reason, many therapists caution against thinking of estrangement as forever but rather as a phase.

As Dr Lucy Blake reminds us, ‘No family is perfect, free from pain, change or challenge’. So, it’s positive that these conversations and family challenges are no longer taboo but part of a broader constructive cultural conversation about emotional health, boundaries and what it means to protect yourself and care for others.

In many ways, the Beckhams seem detached from ordinary life with their extraordinary wealth, global recognition and carefully curated media image. But their current difficulties are something almost all of us can relate to – that family relationships can be messy, contradictory, complex, nuanced, painful and transformative all at once. It also serves as an important reminder that the picture-perfect lives we watch online may conceal considerable tension behind closed doors.