Jennifer Lopez revealed her ‘promise’ to her kids amid Ben Affleck divorce

Divorce isn't the outlier it once was, with divorcing in midlife and beyond becoming increasingly common. It's even been given its own term; grey divorcing. But still, we were all surprised when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck split back in the summer of 2024 after two years of marriage.

Bringing one of the biggest celebrity divorces to a close, the proceedings were finalised in January 2025 and now JLo has only one thing on her mind: her children.

While she went through her divorce, she revealed to El Pais that she'd made and stuck to one very important promise so her kids, 17-year-old twins Max and Emme, wouldn't worry about her. “I said, ‘I promise you, this is a difficult time, but you’re going to see that I’ll come out the other side stronger and better.’ I promised them that and I did it. And they feel it now. That gives me a great sense of peace in my life."

She added that she is 'proud' of herself for not only keeping that promise, but also for helping her children become 'stronger and better' since the divorce too.

She shared, “I’m happier that I’m a step further along than I was a year ago, two years ago, three years ago… I’m proud of myself for that and I’m proud that I was able to navigate my children through difficult times, that they’re stronger and better because of it."

The twins' father is Marc Anthony, to whom JLo was married from 2004 to 2014. Nevertheless, Ben Affleck certainly played a big part in their lives and this change to the family dynamic must have been just as tricky for them as it was for their mum.

At 17, they're mature enough to know exactly what is going on, and this is something Jennifer has had to realise and incorporate into the divorce proceedings, she says, with both children being part of the conversation every step of the way.

"But no matter what goes on with her divorce, she says it's her 'greatest achievement' that her two kids 'know she loves and supports them every step of the way.'

Elsewhere in the interview, JLo revealed what advice she'd give to her younger self and took the chance to speak to and support her kids with what she said.

She shared, “I guess the advice I would give myself is what I would give my kids: you have to really understand your worth and value. And don’t let things that other people say affect you. Understand who you are, believe in that. Understand your own power. I’ve learned that over the years.

"When I first started out, I was very easily influenced and affected by other people’s opinions of me. But then, you have kids and go, ‘wait a minute, who cares what they say?’ You learn through them. That would be the advice that I would give myself: other people’s misconceptions of you do not define who you are.”

JLo and Affleck almost tied the knot 20 years ago after meeting on the set of their movie Gigli in 2002. However, they broke up in 2004, with reports at the time citing the intense media attention around the romance as a major factor in the breakdown of the relationship.

Fans were delighted when they rekindled their relationship and ended up getting married in the summer of 2022. Two years on, their divorce has been finalised but Jennifer says she's now 'genuinely happy' and that where she is now, mentally, 'is a beautiful place to be.'

“I had a really tough year,” she said. “Unexpected things happened. And so, I read a lot of books. I did a lot of self-introspection. I did meditation...I wanted to kind of really solidify the family unit that is me and my two children, my twins.”

She's also been seeking advice. She revealed, “Listening to other people who have been through similar experiences or different experiences than you, I think that’s the thing I love most.

“Everybody goes through hard times in their life. And it’s what you do in those moments that really does define you. Not the relationship, not the man: what defines you is what you’re doing with the experiences that you’re faced with. I take those experiences – whether they’re good or bad – and I bind them,” she explains.

Through living these experiences, she says she's been able to really 'dig deep' into the patterns that her behaviour follows to figure out why she acts the way that she does in certain situations. It's meant that she's 'learned so much about' herself and wishes that she done it sooner.

She said, "You’re on this this kind of rollercoaster, this ride of life, this carousel, you’re going round and round… and you don’t stop and go, ‘wait, what’s happening? What’s going on here?’ Not with anybody else – with me. And, when you do that, you’re able to be more self-aware. And that self-awareness is a very empowering thing.”

But while you're looking at your behaviour, it's inevitable that you'll come across some of the 'mistakes' you've made, and making peace with them is something JLo has been working on.

“Everybody makes mistakes," she said candidly. "There’s not a human being on the planet who’s not going to make a mistake. That’s something I needed to learn. Did you think I was perfect? Did you ever think I was never gonna make a mistake in my life because I’m in the public eye? No, that’s not how it works. I’m not exempt from the human condition. I also have to go through things, right? I must make these lessons my own in order to evolve and grow.”