How many times have we all been paid a compliment and hurriedly brushed it off or been uncertain how to respond? This is something that I’ve experienced a lot and I’m surely not the only one. There’s a natural apprehension about looking "arrogant" by accepting the remark and it’s easy to find yourself compensating by going too far the other way and pointing out things you’re less thrilled about.
This can often occur when the compliment concerns our appearance and A Place In The Sun star Jasmine Harman has just asked a very valid question - why? Why is this the case for so many?
Taking to her Instagram on 23rd June she shared a picture of herself wearing a Zuma sun and swim bodysuit and revealed how she’d reacted when someone told her that morning, "Jasmine your legs are looking so toned!"
Jasmine continued, "My response ‘NOO don’t look at my legs!! I haven’t shaved and I’ve got bruises from playing with the dog, my skin is so dry and the varicose veins and the cellulite… and I haven’t tanned’."
Bruises, varicose veins and cellulite are very common and though there are some amazing moisturisers for dry skin - it’s summer and the heat will inevitably have an effect. Regardless of this, the more important point, as Jasmine asked, is "why do we find it so difficult to accept a compliment?"
"A simple "thank you" and a smile would be fine," she continued, before explaining that she’s focused on "trying to remember to be body positive" and not "put [herself] down".
However, the A Place In The Sun star said that she feels this can be challenging because "we’re so conditioned from such a young age to reject compliments".
"Why? Is it because they contradict our own negative self-views or could it be if we are confident enough to say thanks, could that be misunderstood as arrogance?" she pondered. "Really interested to hear your thoughts on this! What’s your go-to response when someone compliments your appearance? How does it make you feel?"
Jasmine Harman’s conversation-starting post struck a chord with me and so many others too. Spurred on by her invitation, fans took to the comments section and many agreed with her about finding it tricky to accept compliments.
"We always pick at ourselves don’t we? I always feel uncomfy accepting a compliment, but I’m the first to compliment someone else, so weird, maybe we should be a bit kinder to ourselves as well as others," one person wrote.
Someone else said they were "exactly the same" and that they "feel embarrassed" and tend to turn the compliment into "some kind of joke" when they respond.
Amongst a sea of more agreement, others responded to Jasmine’s call for a go-to response and one person said that "a smile and thank you may suffice" as the star mentioned.
"I can't say just thank you as I would feel arrogant. I can't disagree cos that negates their kindness," someone else shared. "So I tend to say something like 'Thank you, what a lovely thing to say, you've made my day!'"
These are great suggestions and I'm sure more will continue to flood in on Jasmine's thought-provoking post.
