‘I’ve only had 3 years of true happiness’ - Dame Kelly Holmes on coming out in her 50s and coming back from a breakdown

Dame Kelly Holmes attends the press night performance of "The Comedy About Spies" at The Noel Coward Theatre — (Image credit: Alan Chapman/Dave Benett/Getty Images)

Warning: The following article contains references to mental health difficulties that some readers might find sensitive.

Dame Kelly Holmes has made some very candid admissions about her struggles with mental health and coming to terms with her sexuality, during a recent interview.

Kelly Holmes: Why I waited until I was 52 to come out | Second Act - YouTube

Watch On

Discussing her sexuality, Kelly shares that she didn't come out until she was 52. "I came out 3 years ago, and it was a pivotal change to become the person that I really wanted to be," she explains.

She'd realised she was gay when she joined the military as a young woman, and it was illegal to be gay in the military at the time. "You couldn't even sit on a bed with a mate of the same sex without one foot on the floor," she explains.

"I didn't know I was gay until I joined," she continues, adding, "I didn't really explore my sexuality because I was out running all the time."

Kelly shares, "I realised but it was very was difficult - there were lots of people that were gay in the military, but of course you had to be so careful because the risk of getting found out meant being court marshalled and potentially jailed."

She recalls often having her room "raided" for "evidence" of being gay, using a reference from The Handmaid's Tale to liken the practice to feeling like "being in Gilead."

That fear lived in Kelly until she was 52 and she finally found the courage to come out and live her authentic life.

When asked what advice she'd go back and give her younger self knowing what she does now, Kelly says, "Try and find your freedom as quick as you can, whatever that is to you."

"Try and find the the peace within you, whatever freedom means and that self-satisfaction, find it with yourself quite early on, don't leave it too late."

"Embrace the peace. And just find a way. Just find a way to find your true self earlier in your journey. Love, always love."

If you'd like advice or support with your mental health, charities such as MIND can help.

Lucy is a multi-award nominated writer and blogger with seven years’ experience writing about entertainment, parenting and family life. Lucy worked as a freelance writer and journalist at the likes of PS and moms.com, before joining GoodtoKnow as an entertainment writer, and then as news editor. The pull to return to the world of television was strong, and she was delighted to take a position at woman&home to once again watch the best shows out there, and tell you why you should watch them too.

You must confirm your public display name before commenting

Please logout and then login again, you will then be prompted to enter your display name.