'Oh god, what have I done?'- The Traitors' Harriet reflects on her 'insane' behaviour on the show, and why she regrets it

The Traitors season 4 has been one of the most explosive so far, and it's not just Claudia's outfits that have everyone talking.

This year, viewers have been going absolutely wild with their fan theories (are Rachel and Matt siblings? Is Fiona Reece's mum?), and the midlife women have been taking the show by storm.

Fiona throwing accusations at Rachel out of nowhere in front of everyone, and standing her ground in some very tense standoffs with the formidable Traitor, have been some of the series' most jaw-dropping moments.

Similarly, Harriet's immaculate psychological sleuthing was some of the best any contestant has ever carried out - but she's now expressed regret at becoming angry to get her point across to the others.

For the 53-year-old author and former barrister, the reason isn't that she considers anger to be a negative emotion, but more because watching her behaviour back reminded her of a part of herself she thought she'd left behind.

"It was awful watching it, I lost my temper, and it’s not nice to see that," Harriet said in conversation with The Times, adding, “None of us want to see our emotional loss of control on camera."

Considered one of the more calming contestants, Harriet's anger towards Rachel and Roxy reminded her of a time alcohol would bring on sudden bursts of anger, and was one of the reasons she became sober in 2022.

Referring to conversations with Rachel and Roxy as "insane behaviour," she says, "The reason I dislike myself when I am drunk is precisely because I lose control." Harriet adds, "I get angry. I shout at people. I send that text message at 3am settling the score."

She continues, "There’s nothing wrong with anger but there’s much better ways of managing it," stressing that since giving up drinking she'd "become a truer version of myself by getting rid of all of the layers."

Reflecting on her behaviour, Harriet shares that the intensity of the environment contributed hugely to why her interactions with other contestants became so fervent.

"It was so intense, the pressure just got to me. I followed my gut but immediately afterwards I had a real moment of ‘oh god, what have I done?'" she says.

The former Faithful also reveals how waiting for the series to air made her really anxious. Knowing how it was going to play out caused her to become increasingly worried about the public reaction to her behaviour.

Suggesting she thought the public initially considered her to be a "calm strategic genius," Harriet says, "Viewers thought I was a strategic genius, people were saying I was going to be the next prime minister. That pedestal was way too high. I’m only human."

"I don’t like it that I had it in me to be angry like that," she continues, explaining that her entire perception of reality show contestants has now been altered.

"I certainly won’t judge anyone on reality TV anymore. I would defy anybody not to find that an unbelievably pressured emotional situation," she says.

When asked why she encouraged everyone to banish her at the round table, Harriet is again very direct, and very clear in her motive.

"Once you’ve thrown a hand grenade, the best thing you can do is walk away," she says, simply.

The Traitors season 4 airs on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.