What is the cowgirl's helper sex position? Plus, how to do this simple variation right

The cowgirl's helper sex position is the perfect adjustment for those who need a little more support in the bedroom, a sex therapist reveals why

Romantic couple sitting on the kitchen floor, arms wrapped around each other, representing the cowgirl's helper sex position
(Image credit: Getty Images)

The cowgirl's helper sex position is the perfect twist on the classic move, offering both partners a little more support in the movement with the promise of even more intimate touching and eye contact, plus loads of other benefits. 

Sometimes having a helping hand in the bedroom is all that's needed to help take things to the next level. Whether it's mobility issues, aches and pains, or flexibility restrictions, making small adjustments with your partner's help can make all the difference to your comfort levels, enjoyment, and pleasure, all of which are so important. 

The typical cowgirl sex position has one partner lying down on their back with the other straddling over them. The partner on top has all the freedom of movement they like, making it easy to take things at their comfortable pace and offering a slightly more dominant angle. It's a favourite even among the best sex positions, so if you're a cowgirl fan, we predict you'll love the cowgirl's helper sex position too. 

What is the cowgirl's helper sex position?

The cowgirl's helper sex position is a variation of the traditional cowgirl sex position, explains sex therapist Ness Cooper. "The person on top leans their arms forward to gain extra support and the person underneath uses their arms to help their partner's thrusts by holding either their thighs or their waist."

As the top partner, this adjustment will ease some of the pressure off your legs, distributing your body weight into your arms as well. With the addition of your partner's support on the bottom helping you along, you'll be moving with ease. 

"Some also recommend the partner underneath slips a pillow under their buttock before starting the move to help raise them up higher which can lead to easier penetration whilst also less chance of leg cramp from the receiver on top," says Cooper, who is also the resident sexologist at Je Joue

Illustration of the cowgirl's helper sex position

(Image credit: H.Maddison)

While the cowgirl's helper sex position may appear pretty exclusive to couples with a penis and vagina, this can actually be one of the best lesbian sex positions around, considering that it's just as easy to utilise one of the best sex toys - like a dildo or strap-on during this move.

Benefits of the cowgirl's helper sex position

1. Deeper penetration

The cowgirl's helper offers deep penetration for the person on top. So, if that's what you enjoy in the bedroom but you sometimes can find it a little uncomfortable in moves where the penetrating partner is dominant - such as the doggy-style-inspired leapfrog sex position - then you're in luck with this move. 

"The cowgirl's helper can allow the person on top more depth control during penetration," says Cooper. "This can be helpful for those who find deeper penetration painful as they don’t have to thrust so far onto their partner." 

2. Reduce discomfort

Looking for one of the best sex positions for lower back pain? The cowgirl's helper can be useful as it encourages the top partner to bend at the hips, leaning forward slightly, which can take away some pressure from the lower back muscles. 

But it's also beneficial for other types of discomfort, explains the sex therapist. "The sex position can help reduce toe cramps in those who are prone to it during sex, particularly when the person underneath has the pillow underneath them, as this raises the person on top up more reducing pressure on their legs." 

3. More intimate than some other sex positions

There's nothing quite like spicing things up in the bedroom to keep the spark in your relationship, especially if it's long-term. This sex position is a great way to try something new with limited risks, whilst offering perhaps even more than the traditional move for those who like to be intensely intimate in the bedroom. 

"The cowgirl's helper can be seen slightly more intimate than the traditional cowgirl as the person on top will be angled slightly more for eye contact," she says. "This may increase bonding due to how eye contact can increase feel-good hormones such as oxytocin." 

4. Reduces fatigue

Considering that most people have sex for an average of three to seven minutes, per research by Utrecht University, you want those minutes to be good ones - and not too tiring. 

"This position can reduce fatigue for both partners as they are supported more by each other's bodies and movement," Cooper says.

5. Easy to add sex toys into the mix for additional stimulation

Having your best vibrator on hand can really help things along in the bedroom, especially if you struggle to orgasm through simple vaginal penetration alone. Adding in a toy like a cock ring may make things more pleasurable for everyone, says Cooper. 

"Those exploring the sex position with a cock ring may find that the person on top can feel the vibrations and clitoral nub of the cock ring easier as the sex position allows for more genital-to-genital contact." 

As the move opens up the partner on top's upper half, unlike in certain missionary positions, there's the chance for even more additional stimulation. "If the partner on the bottom enjoys nipple stimulation, the person's on top hands can rest easier over them when angled this way, giving them more opportunities to tease them when desired," she adds.

How to make the cowgirl helper sex position even better

There are a couple of things you can do to level up the intensity and comfort of the cowgirl helper sex position, says Cooper. Firstly, don't underestimate the value of a sex pillow or couch to add a new dimension to the move. "The ergonomic shape of these supports can help make the cowgirl helper easier as well as more comfortable to perform. Due to how these pillows and sex position furniture can tilt the body they may also help make penetration easier whilst also allowing you to have more clitoral stimulation from your partner's pubic area." 

Want more clitoral stimuation? That's entirely possible, says the sexologist. "The partner on the bottom can help their partner further in this sex position by bending their knees and allowing their partner to rest on their thighs in an angled position during thrusts. This can also help add more stimulation to the clitoris as well as the G-spot." With the vulva of the top partner more open to the bottom partner, there's plenty of opportunity to use a bullet vibrator or a wand vibrator for dual stimulation. 

And of course, as this is a penetrative sex position, you'll want to use plenty of lube throughout to keep things running smoothly. 

Grace Walsh
Health Channel Editor

Grace Walsh is woman&home's Health Channel Editor, working across the areas of fitness, nutrition, sleep, mental health, relationships, and sex. She is also a qualified fitness instructor. In 2024, she will be taking on her second marathon in Rome, cycling from Manchester to London (350km) for charity, and qualifying as a certified personal trainer and nutrition coach. 

A digital journalist with over six years experience as a writer and editor for UK publications, Grace has covered (almost) everything in the world of health and wellbeing with bylines in Cosmopolitan, Red, The i Paper, GoodtoKnow, and more.