'I am left with a gaping loss' - Sheila Hancock on loneliness after the death of her husband

Dame Sheila Hancock married legendary actor John Thaw in 1973. Sadly, after 28 years of marriage, John died and Sheila was left a widow in 2002 - he passed away from cancer one day before her 69th birthday.

John's death wasn't the first time Sheila had experienced loss. The actress had previously been married to fellow actor Alec Ross, who also died from cancer in 1971.

After being widowed once again at the age of 69, Sheila has never remarried. Now aged 92, she has spoken honestly about how the years of loneliness and the impact of loss and grief have impacted her quality of life.

In conversation with Prospect magazine, Sheila has revealed the things in life she is grateful for, but also how the tinge of living without her late husband has tainted her life.

Speaking of her family, the actress says, "They are all a great comfort, but eventually they go home." When left by herself, Sheila describes how she's left with "the gaping loss of the person who has left forever, with whom I could be totally honest and myself, warts and all."

"Who is there now to wipe my tears and make me laugh?" she asks, while admitting she still talks out loud to John 23 years after his death - although their "imagined rants" are somewhat quieter than they used to be, according to the star.

In an achingly honest account of how living alone affects her, Sheila reveals, "Loneliness is terribly difficult to deal with. One can wake up and feel overwhelmed by depression at the thought of a solitary day ahead."

She has to fight the urge to simply roll over and stay in bed, knowing she needs to reach deep and find the motivation to get up and find a purpose.

The actress has rightly noted that for some, their "each other” is an animal, describing them as "easier to love and be loved by than a person." Considering getting a cat during lockdown, Sheila eventually decided against the idea.

Not only did she have concerns that the cat could outlive her, she made the realisation that, actually, "No snooty puss would sit up and beg for food or make other cute efforts to render my life bearable".

Sheila concludes, "So, cats are not the ideal 'each other'. More 'everyone for himself,'" which will no doubt have cat owners all over the world nodding in agreement.

Delving into some of the very troubling events currently happening in the world, Sheila asserts the need to "believe that good is lurking, waiting for an opportunity to prevail."

At the end of her moving account of her life as she currently lives it, Sheila poignantly observes, "I am deeply grateful for the joy and comfort to be found in each wonderful 'other' that I am blessed to have in my life."