All my friends are hooked on Heated Rivalry - here's why midlife women can't get enough of the steamy ice hockey drama

If you've heard about smash-hit ice hockey drama Heated Rivalry, you'll know it's absolutely broken the internet.

Based on author Rachel Reid's Game Changers book series, the queer romance follows top hockey players, Russian Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie) and Canadian Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams), who are rivals on the ice, but lovers away from the rink.

Released on January 10 on Sky and NOW, the word-of-mouth hit follows Shane and Ilya's secret romance through the years. Initially grabbing attention with its erotic sex scenes, it also raises more pertinent conversations about on-screen representation and heartfelt love in diverse forms.

A huge hit in itself, the series has also erupted with popularity in an unexpected demographic: midlife women.

When my friends first started sending me links to lustful Instagram reels with clips from the show and absolutely any Heated Rivalry content they could get their hands on, I thought they were being helpful and recommending a TV series I might like.

Then I found they didn't just like the show, they were obsessed with it - not only that, it was making them hot for some bedroom action, or "absolutely feral to get upstairs" as one of my friends humorously messaged me.

Heated Rivalry | Official Trailer | HBO Max - YouTube

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One of my friends is hosting a watch-party, where like-minded, Heated Rivalry-obsessed midlifers can gather for the ultimate gathering: binge-watch every episode with a selection of excellent snacks and basking in collective horniness. Absolute bliss, right?

But this does raise the question of why women of this age are so obsessed with a queer romance (and no, it's not just the rock-solid abs)? Out of curiosity, I spoke to Roya Rahmanzadeh, a therapist who specialises in sexuality.

Roya gave me the lowdown on the interesting reasons this show appeals to some women who aren't necessarily the target audience.

Unsurprisingly, it could have a lot to do with how we've been looked at and treated by men, and the freedom from misogyny the show provides.

Roya says, "Much mainstream romance and erotic imagery is shaped by the male gaze, where women’s bodies are positioned to be evaluated and desired. A gay love story between men in a male-coded environment shifts that structure."

"Women are no longer the ones being looked at, there is no misogyny. Midlife is often a point when questions about sexuality and compatibility return. Watching male intimacy centred, with emotional weight, can support that process of self-reflection in a way that feels moving."

Roya continues, "Some middle-aged straight women will be engaged with Heated Rivalry because it offers a romance with a different set of rules to frequently represented straight love stories."

"There is space to follow the emotions without immediately mapping it onto everyday roles as partner or mother. Viewers can be affected by the character's vulnerability and intimacy in a way that might feel safer. The story becomes something to experience rather than something to measure yourself against."

I also asked one of my friends to sum up what the series means to her, and the answer is perfectly relatable. Here are Michelle's thoughts:

"Whilst being careful not to fetishise queer men, it’s a show that is full of yearning and lust that leads to love between equals both physically and professionally," she says.

"There’s no misogyny, there's no little servant girl being rescued by a lord, there’s no violent sex - as seems to be the increasing norm with women being used, rather than pleasured. Sex between equals is HOT. It’s just a delight to watch these two men go on this journey of love and emotional literacy."

"The women who are in the supporting roles are nothing but fabulous allies, who enrich their lives and development which the world needs more than ever. They’re empathetic and kind women, and I love that."

"The sex drives the story forward, but it’s not random or just to titillate. It's less graphic and is plot and character driven, unlike all the unnecessary and far more graphic sex in other shows."

"Also, there's consent - the constant checking in, they are both invested in giving each other equal pleasure. It's such a celebration of a healthy sexual, consensual relationship (no risk of murder by non-consensual choking.) It’s sexy to watch men be vulnerable with each other seeing as the bar is so low, it’s in hell."

There you have it folks, the experts and the women consuming the show have spoken. For us midlifers, this show is a form of escapism. We can escape from the rampant misogyny and sexual misconduct we've been conditioned to accept from a young age when we tune in.

As my friend says so succinctly, personal sexuality and preferences aren't the main issue here. We just want to see equal pleasure centred, and not see anyone's sexual needs diminished. It would be nice if some men could understand how hot that is for women of all ages.

All episodes of Heated Rivalry will be available on January 10 on Sky and streaming service NOW.