‘If it doesn’t last for ever, so be it’: Caroline Quentin’s realistic approach to making her marriage work after 20 years

Caroline Quentin is known to many for her role in hit 90s sitcom, Men Behaving Badly. Since the days of playing Dorothy in the series, Caroline has continued to act steadily, and also turned her hand to writing a book about her love of gardening.

Recently, Caroline appeared on an episode of the Second Act podcast, to speak to host Ateh Jewel about midlife, marriage and how she navigates feelings about an empty nest when her children left home.

The actress's very realistic approach to making her marriage work makes for really interesting advice. After her first marriage to comedian Paul Merton ended in 1998, Caroline met Sam Farmer the same year, who was working as a runner on Men Behaving Badly.

The couple married in 2006 and have two children. Having been together nearly 30 years and married for nearly 20, Caroline was asked for her secrets to a lengthy marriage.

And the secrets? There aren't any. "It's hard, and we've both had moments where we've really had to apply ourselves to marriage," Caroline shares, adding, "We're so far so good is what I'd say."

She continues, "There's no predictor of a future because we've managed to have a pretty solid time so far. There's nothing to say that next week it won't grind to a halt, come to an end, or run out of road."

The actress appeared very relaxed when chatting about going with the flow when it comes to her relationship, sitting comfortably with the thought that situations and people can change, understanding that not everything is permanent.

"If it doesn't last for ever, so be it," Caroline says, candidly.

Caroline Quentin: Having an empty nest has allowed me to reconnect with my husband | Second Act - YouTube

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Host Ateh Jewel believes Caroline's approach to her marriage is "mindful," telling the star, "Seeing marriage as a work in progress at all times is very healthy."

When discussing how their children leaving home impacted their relationship, Caroline shares that her husband, Sam, took it harder than she did, saying "he didn't cope so well."

Their daughter Rose left home at 18, and when their youngest child, William left home, the actress explains that Sam "wasn't in a good place."

She believes this was because she was away a lot filming when the children were young, and Sam did a lot of the child-rearing.

Caroline does express regret at being away with work when her children were very little, suggesting she'd change this if she could have that time back again.

"If I had my way, they'd all live at home all the time," she says, sweetly. Her husband on the other hand, is now used to the quietness, telling Caroline, "I'm quite glad to have that time back to ourselves."

The actress had fallen pregnant within two months of meeting Sam, admitting that they didn't have much of a dating life because children came along quickly in the relationship.

Although she enjoys being able to just go out to dinner with her husband without having to think about anyone else, Caroline and Ateh agree that there shouldn't be a focus on timelines in a marriage - and Caroline has taken a similarly relaxed approach to this concept throughout her life, so it appears.