The 62 million visits that have women asking: how safe are we really?

Imagine you’re the only woman in a train carriage at night, with a few men seated around you. How comfortable would you feel? Would you feel safe? Maybe you would - after all, ‘not all men’ are bad - but what about if you knew that 62 million of them potentially are?

Because that’s the number of people globally who have accessed a website that hosts disturbing content including ‘sleep pornography’, which involves men assaulting women while they ‘sleep’ or appear to be drugged.

While it isn’t clear how many have accessed this specific content, the fact that 62 million people have visited a site hosting videos of this nature is troubling enough.

A recent CNN exposé lifted the lid on online ‘rape academies’ – chat rooms and websites where predominantly men engage in discussions framed as lessons on how to become sexual predators, sometimes targeting their own partners. They share tips on which meds to use to drug women so they can rape them while they’re passed out – often filming it for strangers to watch online.

It sounds sickeningly similar to the case of Dominique Pelicot and 50 other men who were found guilty in 2024 of the drug-facilitated rape and abuse of his wife Gisèle in France.

We were all horrified, and hoped it was an isolated case. But now the CNN report has many questioning the men we encounter in everyday life, and maybe even those closest to us.

Because it seems that, though the website Pelicot’s followers used was shut down, countless predators have simply moved to other channels. Shielded by the anonymity of the internet, they find a sense of community with others who share their sick fantasies, helping them normalise abuse.

And while it isn’t clear how many of the 62 million are men, much of the content seems to be aimed at them. Think of yourself in that train carriage again - is it any wonder so many of us don't feel safe?

Amelia Handy, head of policy and public affairs at Rape Crisis, says: "This investigation confirms yet again that women and girls live within a rape culture, where predatory men perpetrate extraordinary harm and support others in doing so.

"So-called sleep pornography is quite simply rape and platforms that promote this content must face considerable penalties and be shut down for doing so."

The fact that people have accessed such websites and disgusting content is terrifying, regardless of whether their intention was to act on the ‘lessons’ or because they were ‘curious’.

But even worse is that, despite us all knowing good men - partners, sons, friends, brothers, fathers - if that many people have visited such a site, there may be someone we know who has viewed it.

So why do so many men not only do just that but, as in the Pelicot case, ‘opt in’ to the invitation to commit acts of rape and sexual assault?

Psychotherapist and former Rape Crisis counsellor Susie Masterson MBACP says, 'The foundation stems from male entitlement: an internalised belief in some men that sexual access is a right. Viewed through this lens, we can start to appreciate how the concept of consent is overlooked.

'This deeply embedded belief - stemming from what society tells us we should think or feel, encoded in some men’s brains and in many places enshrined in law - is in my view the most pernicious and harmful threat to women.’

Add to that the fact they can find like-minded individuals online, and the results are terrifying.

'The sense of belonging and validation from sharing views and influencing others is potent,’ Susie adds. ‘It has the potential to fuel motivation and accelerate execution, leading more men to commit rape.’

The sheer numbers visiting these sites adds another layer to the threat we as women experience in our daily lives.

We’re used to looking over our shoulder when we walk down a quiet street, taking extra care if we go anywhere alone at night, but this investigation is a stark reminder that the stranger in the dark alley isn’t always the biggest threat, it could be those we know, even those we love.

Katie White, co-founder of Enough, a non-profit focused on survivor support and rape prevention, says: ‘Cases of drug-facilitated sexual assault are assumed to be rare, but just like the wider rape epidemic, they are far more common than people realise.

'Drug-facilitated sexual assault sits within a broader pattern of abuse that is often misunderstood; nearly 85% of rape is committed by someone known to the victim, yet the dominant narrative still focuses on strangers.’

This gap between perception and reality delays recognition and reporting. Katie adds, ‘Many people struggle to identify what has happened because it doesn’t match what they’ve been taught to expect. It’s not always strangers we should worry about but people we share our lives with.’

And while any abuse is devastating, it can be even more complicated in these circumstances. ‘We’ve supported survivors harmed by partners or trusted individuals, and even when they discover the truth, the emotional impact can be complex,’ says Katie.

‘One survivor described feeling intense guilt at the thought of reporting someone she loved. That conflict is common, and it’s one of the reasons many cases never come to light.’

So what can we do to tackle this trend?

‘We need to be more honest about the reality of sexual violence,’ Katie explains. ‘It is often minimised or misrepresented, leaving people unprepared to recognise the risks and unclear on how to act if it happens. The way these men speak in chat rooms shows their entitlement and belief in no consequence.

'They are certain their victims will never find out, and if they do, that they will never report. A system intended to protect survivors keeps the perpetrators safe. Survivors should not have to adapt to that system - the system needs to change for them.'

What to do if you’ve been affected

Katie White, co-founder of Enough, says: ‘Trust your instincts and be aware of the signs – if something doesn't feel right, it's important to take that seriously. Abuse does happen within relationships, including those that appear stable or loving. Seek support where you can, whether through a trusted person, sexual assault referral centre (SARC) or the police. For those who don’t know whether to report officially yet, there are other options, like Enough.’

The organisation provides a simple way to record experiences, including the option to collect and store DNA evidence, alongside free access to support.

If you have been affected by anything in this article, Rape Crisis offers support for those impacted by rape and sexual abuse. You can call them on 0808 802 9999 in England and Wales, 0808 801 0302 in Scotland, and 0800 0246 991 in Northern Ireland.

This feature first appeared in Woman magazine. Subscribe now and get your first 6 issues for £1.