‘If I gave up work, what would I do?’ – Kathy Lette says she's not ready to retire yet

Retirement is when you stop living at work… and start working at living. At least, that’s how I always imagined it. But now that I’m at retirement age, I simply can’t see myself walking in my front door and calling out, "Hi, darling. I’m home – forever."

And I don’t think I’m the only one not ready to hit the employment ejector seat. Many of my friends are older than the characters in The Thursday Murder Club. Are they living in a posh retirement home like Coopers Chase? No. And not just because they couldn’t afford it, but because they’re still working.

Retirement age?

Denmark has just raised the retirement age to 70. And I can see why. Retire now and we’re looking at nearly 20 years on the state pension, up from 13½ in the 1950s. So the question is – are we giving up work too early?

When I put my teenage foot on the first rung of the career ladder, retirees seemed so ancient. I didn’t know exactly how old they were because a camel ate the Dead Sea Scrolls where their births were recorded.

So, you can imagine my shock when my accountant pointed out I’m now old enough to claim a pension.

Is it really time to be put out to career pasture?

So, you can imagine my shock when my accountant pointed out I’m now old enough to claim a pension.

Is it really time to be put out to career pasture?

I don’t feel I’ve passed my amuse-by date. In fact, I’m having the most fun, the best ideas and the best sex I’ve ever had. You don’t give up sex when you get old; you get old when you give up sex. A sexagenarian’s motto? Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today!

Oh how times change

When I was an exhausted working mum, oh how I dreamt of being a lady of leisure. But now the thought of relaxing makes me tense. I recently downloaded some relaxation apps. I lay down on the bed, closed my eyes and concentrated on the sound of waves breaking on the beach… but immediately panicked about being trapped by the tide.

I even tried a retirement podcast on positive thinking… but felt more negative than ever.

If I gave up work, what would I do all day? Sit at home knitting my own bus pass? My brain would log me out due to inactivity. And then I wouldn’t be able to remember my password.

But then again, nobody on their death bed ever said, "Gosh, I wish I’d spent more time filling in forms and filing paperwork." There are no luggage racks on hearses; no pockets in shrouds. And, at 66, time is fugit-ing like there’s no tomorrow. So, perhaps this is the moment for some work/life balance?

My plan for this chapter

My new plan is to work and play with more passion than ever. Everyone’s obsessed with the length of life, but I want to live the width and the depth of life as well.

I want a life in 3D. I want to die young, as late as possible.

Retirement doesn’t mean you’re at the end of something; you’re just at the beginning of something else. It’s not goodbye; but hello to a new adventure.

Adventure before dementia, that’s our motto. Not that I’m making light of that terrible affliction. But you never know what’s around the corner. So, I’ll see you after work… on the dance floor.

Kathy Lette writes her amusing columns on all sorts of topics, from female friendship to faking orgasms, camaraderie at divorce parties and going makeup-free – and even the importance of laughter itself. A new column is published in woman&home magazine every month.