'I rowed 3,000 miles across the Atlantic, but never imagined my next challenge would be overcoming cancer'

"When my brother-in-law David signed up to row from the Canaries to the Caribbean in 2019, I thought he was bonkers," begins Felicity Ashley, who was a marketing leader at the time.

"'Why would anyone want to do that?' I asked his wife, my younger sister Pippa.

"The night he completed his challenge, in January 2020, I set my alarm for 2am to watch live as he pulled into Nelson’s Dockyard in Antigua. It was spine-tinglingly exciting, and I found myself thinking, 'If I feel like this, thousands of miles away, how awesome it must feel to be there – crossing that finishing line.'

"Pippa, then 41, had flown out to Antigua to greet David – and, clearly even more inspired than me, called a week later to say, 'I’ve got a rowing boat! Do you want to do the same race with me?' The owner had offered the use of the ocean rowing boat that David’s crew had used – a hugely generous gesture, as they can cost well over £50k."

Felicity Ashley

Felicity Ashley is a former marketing leader, transatlantic rower, cancer survivor and business founder. She lives with her husband, Paul, and three children: Sam, Ben and Grace.

"I was 43, and recuperating well from a hip replacement at home in Oxfordshire. But I’d always been fit and sporty. 'OK,' I said, surprising myself. 'Why not?' I saw it as an opportunity to prove, like David, that ordinary people can do extraordinary things with the right mindset.

"So, along with Pippa, her friend Jo, and Jo’s friend Lebby – the team we called The Mothership – I embarked on 18 months of rigorous training to prepare for the 2021 Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge, aka The World’s Toughest Row.

"We were four ordinary working mothers, with 11 children between us. With no professional crew, the four of us had to be thoroughly trained in everything from navigation and how to use the radio system to first aid at sea."

"Life was busy, fitting training around my career in marketing and family commitments, but after working out six days a week – doing strength training and Pilates, along with hours on a rowing machine – I was the fittest I had ever been. I couldn’t wait to set off from La Gomera on the 3,000-mile row.

"Our aim was to do the trip in under 45 days, based on how long David’s crew had taken – five men, 41 days – and how previous crews had done.

"We did it over Christmas because that’s when the weather conditions are most favourable. There are no hurricanes then, and the trade winds should take you in the right direction. I was really lucky to have been given a sabbatical from work.

"Being away from my husband Paul, then 45, and our children, Sam, Ben and Grace, then eight, six and four, would be tough – especially over Christmas. But I reminded myself that it was part of the challenge and would build my resilience."

Life at sea

"Our rigorous training paid off – after setting off from La Gomera in early December 2021, we adapted well to life at sea and our new routine. Physically and mentally, it was tough, especially while our bodies and hands adapted to the relentless strain of rowing two hours on, two hours off, 24 hours a day, but we relished the challenge and rose to it.

"Nights were hard, with just 90 minutes of sleep between shifts, but as mothers, we were used to getting up through the night and knew our bodies could do it."

"Two weeks into our 40-night trip, I started needing to go to the loo more frequently. I wasn’t unduly worried – the sheer volume of dried food (4,000 calories a day to meet our energy needs) and physical work were bound to have an effect. We weren’t supposed to abandon our oars if we needed the toilet.

"But I couldn’t wait, and became the butt of team jokes, the others nominating me for a ‘Most Likely to Need an Inconvenient Poo’ award. Laughing along, never imagining this was anything serious, I just got on with rowing us to Antigua."

"Amid the tough bits, there was the adrenaline rush of 30ft waves, the beauty of the night skies and the moon lighting our path, dolphins leaping joyfully, and the little bird who became a daily visitor, like our guardian angel.

"When we arrived at port after 40 days at sea and I saw my family waiting for me, I felt invincible. The children ran to me, wrapping me in a big hug – I was overwhelmed by joy and pride."

Back to reality

"Back home at the end of January 2022, I was still needing the loo a lot – and noticed blood in my stools. Wondering if I had picked up an infection at sea, I saw my GP and was referred for a colonoscopy ‘to rule out cancer’.

"But it didn’t rule it out. In fact, it was the opposite: I had a cancerous tumour. Clinicians estimated that I’d had it for many months, possibly over a year. I couldn’t believe it. How could I have cancer? I’d just completed one of the world’s toughest endurance events.

"I called Paul, who was in a meeting nearby, and he was equally stunned. He dropped everything to be with me and was the rational, pragmatic support that I needed; listening acutely to the diagnosis, asking pertinent questions, while my mind raced with ‘what if’ scenarios."

"That same night, I was supposed to attend the award ceremony with Pippa for our Atlantic Row. I’d even had my nails painted for the occasion. When a nurse commented on them, I said I was gutted I could no longer go. 'Why not?' she asked. 'Your health hasn’t changed since this morning. You’ve nothing to lose.'

"'Tackle this like you tackled the Atlantic,' a senior consultant advised – a mantra I have held on to ever since. I couldn’t let cancer control my life – so I drove straight from the hospital to the ceremony.

"Pippa burst into tears when I told her my news. But I was finished with crying. The next day was Ben’s seventh birthday, with 20 children coming for a trampoline party. Paul and I had to think carefully about when – and what – to tell the children.

"We didn’t want the word ‘cancer’ to alarm them. They knew my father, their grandfather Poppa, was dying from the disease.

"We said I needed an operation on my tummy, expecting a barrage of questions. But they were so nonplussed and keen to get back to the TV that Paul and I were slightly discombobulated."

"After the operation, I needed chemotherapy to mop up any rogue cells. At this point we told the children that it was cancer, but reassured them that I’d get better. I wasn’t going to be like Poppa.

"Dad died as I was starting the treatment. Devastated as I was, my operation meant I’d been off work, and was with him and Mum near the end.

"I had six rounds of chemo over four months, and experienced side effects that built over time. Initially, it was hard to work out whether my symptoms of nausea and feeling low were from the chemo or from grief at losing Dad. Being a mum of young children, I had to cope with physical exhaustion, but they were a lifeline, and a reason to get up and carry on every day.

"Being needed is a tremendous incentive to keep going. I tried to keep life as normal as possible, and whenever my symptoms allowed, I exercised – usually walking or running. It was a way of me maintaining an element of control over my life."

Moving forward

"I’m a great believer in positive thinking, and fostering an optimistic mindset was a hugely important coping strategy for me.

"Even on day one, when there was a 27% chance that the cancer could come back some time, I turned that around, telling myself, 'There’s a 73% chance that it won’t!'"

"Two years on from my treatment, the risk of the cancer returning is diminishing by the day. I made a big decision to leave the corporate world to become a motivational speaker – using my rowing challenge and cancer journey to encourage resilience in others.

"I'm also publishing a book about my experiences, due to be out in the summer. I’ve learnt so much about strength and hope, and I know just how lucky I am to be able to share my story. I want to show that cancer doesn’t have to stop you living life and chasing your dreams."

"I’ll be taking part in the Tenzing Hillary Everest Marathon, which involves a 10-day trek to Everest Base Camp (5,450m altitude), a couple of nights at Base Camp to acclimatise and then a marathon starting from Base Camp before heading down again.

"It’s the highest marathon in the world, and a challenge of a very different nature because I’ve never done anything at altitude before so I don’t know how my body will react to the thin air.

"During the trek, on 20th May, I’ll mark three years since my cancer diagnosis - so it’s a really significant milestone for me – and what better place to celebrate life and health than the foothills of the mighty Everest?

"I’m doing it to raise money for Occtopus – the Oxford Colon Cancer Trust – via JustGiving. Occtopus fund the development of groundbreaking treatment and research for bowel cancer and other related conditions, and funded the equipment used in my surgery, so it’s a charity that means a lot to me."

Bowel cancer is the fourth most common cancer in the UK – know the bowl cancer symptoms to look out for and seek professional medical advice if you're concerned. For more information, head to Bowel Cancer UK.