'I decided to take a chance – and fell in love at Christmas'

Christmas can be a difficult time to be single, widowed or divorced. Once the parties peter out and friends start shuttering themselves away to celebrate with partners and families, it's easy to feel lonely.

Alison Wainwright, 48, tells us about the Christmas she decided to escape from it all – and ended up meeting her now-husband!

A lonely Christmas post-divorce

"It was Christmas 2016 and I already knew that 2017 was going to be difficult," begins Alison. "My marriage had ended so I took two weeks off work and on 19 December, my mum picked me up from my marital home in Edinburgh and drove me to her house in Yorkshire. She had previously booked a Christmas break in France and I insisted she didn’t cancel, but I had no friends in Yorkshire.

"I spent Christmas Day with my dad and sister, but the rest of the fortnight, I was alone.

"In the new year, I transferred my job as a research librarian to my company’s Leeds office, and in February, moved into a rented flat nearby.

"I promised myself that by the following Christmas I would have my life sorted, but before I knew it, December was looming again and I wasn’t in a better place.

"I was 40, flitting between my parents’ homes and going through a divorce. Plus, dating had been so disappointing, I’d sworn off men."

I yearned to be somewhere else

"I yearned to be somewhere else. I’d been to Madeira before, and loved the vibrant flowers and hiking paths through mountains and forests, and along the coast. So I saved up and booked a flight for the week before Christmas.

"Settling into my window seat, a handsome man sat down next to me. I remember thinking that he could have all the elbow room he liked!

"He told me his name was Helder, that he worked in hospitality, lived in London and was heading home to Madeira to visit his parents.

"As conversation flowed, he gave me his number. ‘We could meet for coffee,’ he said. This chance encounter changed my life.

"A few days later, I hopped on a bus that happened to head towards Helder’s village and messaged to see if he was free. It was awkward at first, but once we got chatting, it was hard to stop.

"On 23 December, Helder invited me to a night market. As we strolled through the festive stalls, I felt dizzy with feelings for him and told myself I wasn’t breaking my ‘no men’ rule. This was just a holiday fling. As we said goodnight, I wanted Helder to kiss me, but he was respectfully shy.

"Christmas Day was bliss. I had a glass of fizz with breakfast in the hotel, then swam in the sea as beachside bars played festive songs. It felt empowering and therapeutic.

"Helder sent me a sweet text wishing me a happy Christmas and on Boxing Day, we coincidentally boarded the same flight home. As soon as the seat belt lights went off, Helder moved to sit next to me and when the plane landed, we finally kissed."

A new Christmas tradition

"For two and a half years, we had a long-distance relationship. We spoke on the phone every day – but that only made us miss each other more. Helder started looking for jobs in Yorkshire and, in May 2020, we moved in together.

"We married in July 2022, and have filled our lives with music festivals, volunteering and hiking.

"Every other Christmas, we return to Madeira and reminisce about how our story began. Hearing festive songs in the sunshine always reminds me of the year I took a chance and fell in love."

✢ Alison writes children’s books to raise money for charities – check out The Exchange Trip and Coco The Cat.

We can't get enough of stories about inspirational women over 40, from women cooking for homeless and vulnerable people at Christmas, and volunteering at a food bank, to the woman who trains guide dog puppies and even the 'real' Riot Women gigging through menopause.

Find their stories and many more in our Inspirational Women pages, and in woman&home magazine.