This is what your favorite sex position says about you—according to sex experts

Sensitive, shy or controlling—here is what your favorite sex positions say about you

Man and a woman in bed together after learning about each other's favorite sex position
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Did you know your favorite sex position can say a lot about you? We asked sex experts what the most popular positions could reveal about your personality and their answers might surprise you. 

You can tell a lot about someone from their go-to takeaway, the films they recommend, and their favorite way to de-stress, so it's no surprise that something as intimate as sex can reveal a lot about a person. 

From lazy sex positions to the best sex positions to help you orgasm, the experts at Bed SOS did some digging and nailed down the top five most-popular positions. We then asked sex experts, including intimacy and relationship coaches, to deduce what these positions reveal about you. 

What your favorite sex position says about you 

1. Missionary position with partner on top

Missionary has got a bad rep, often referred to as a little vanilla (aka basic). But we couldn’t disagree more and it seems we aren’t the only ones.

The classic position came out on top in the Bed SOS survey, with 27% of participants rating it as their favorite sex position. An oldie but a goodie, the position was more popular with women than men as they loved letting their partner take the lead. It’s an incredibly intimate and tender sex position that encourages closeness, eye contact, and lots of kissing. 

What does this say about you? 

If missionary with your partner on top is your favorite, it could mean you’re a little shy and need self-assurance, according to Juliette Karaman, sex and intimacy coach and founder of Feel Fully You.

“If this is your favorite, it could mean you value closeness, feeling safe, and feeling held in the rest of your life, too,” Lucy Rowett, certified sexologist and UK advisor of Pleasy Play, says.

“It could also be that feeling emotionally connected is what hits your accelerator and what you need to feel your most receptive and turned on,” she adds.

Couple in bed together, under white bedsheets

(Image credit: Getty Images)

2. Doggy style

The top position for 20% of participants, doggy style, is all about deep penetration and letting the giving partner take control. “It can feel like one of the more edgy or naughty positions because you’re facing away from your partner, you can’t see them and can enjoy the thrill of being taken from behind,” Lucy says. Other moves where the bottom partner is face down, like the prone bone sex position, are along the same lines.

Juliette adds the nature of this technique can mean the depth of penetration is too deep for some. If this is your favorite position then you'll know that using plenty of the best lube is essential, and ensuring your partner knows what is comfortable or uncomfortable for you is a must. Many people also find having a safe word (a word that once said stops play) is particularly important if you’re adding elements of BDSM for beginners into the mix by tying up hands or using handcuffs. 

What does this say about you? 

If this is your favorite sex position, it suggests you enjoy being dominated by your partner. Surrendering to the experience and letting your partner take control can be exhilarating and a huge turn-on. It's one of the most common sexual fantasies after all. 

“It could be that you like to take more risks, that you thrive in excitement and the unconventional, and you are more vocal about your wants and desires,” Lucy explains. 

"For a woman or somebody with a vulva, in doggy style, different parts of the vagina are stimulated and it's the perfect position for deep penetration. Again, it can be the position of ultimate surrender that can feel incredibly satisfying,” Lucy adds. 

3. Missionary position with partner on bottom

15% of survey participants rated missionary with their partner on the bottom as their top sex position. We know that missionary is a super-intimate position that allows for lots of touching, kissing and eye contact. It's also a great opportunity to add clitoral stimulation with vibrators or throw one of the best sex toys into the mix. 

Switching up this classic position and getting on top of your partner says a lot about the type of person you are in the bedroom. 

What does this say about you?

Confident and in control. This is the vibe you’re giving off if missionary with your partner on the bottom is your favorite sex position. 

“Maybe you just love seeing the look of delight and pleasure on your partner's face, knowing that you are doing this with them. It could be that you like to be more dominant, and also to freely move your body and 'call the shots' so to speak,” Lucy says.

Couple spooning in bed together

(Image credit: Getty Images)

4. Cowgirl

A position that's pleasurable for men and women, but in very different ways—the cowgirl sex position was favored by just 8% of participants. 

The cowgirl or reverse cowgirl sex position is a very visual position that is a huge turn-on for anyone involved. But, more importantly, it can be incredibly pleasurable for those with vulvas—allowing them to move freely and control the stimulation of the clitoris.

"You've got direct clitoral stimulation, plus you can freely move your hips and pelvis which make having an orgasm much easier," says Lucy. 

What does this say about you?

Opting for cowgirl in the bedroom suggests you're at ease with your body and you're comfortable with your partner, Julliette tells us. 

"If you favor this position, it could mean you know what you like and you want to have it," Lucy adds. 

By controlling the speed, intensity, and angles, you are taking charge. You know what you want and how you want it, and you're prioritizing your own orgasm and pleasure. 

5. Spooning

Popular with only 4% of survey participants—perhaps due to the awkward negotiation of getting into the position—the spoon is intimate and warm. If you're the little spoon, it can be comforting to be held by your partner. 

Similar to the missionary position, there's lots of opportunity for skin-on-skin contact, looking into each other's eyes, and kissing your partner's erogenous zones

"You can start just cuddling in bed which suddenly turns into something more, with very little effort or energy required. It's brilliant especially when you're low on energy and tired out," Lucy explains.

"It is more of a surrendered position for the little spoon, though it allows an element of control as the depth of penetration can be varied with the positioning of legs," Juliette adds. 

What does this say about you?

If you rate the spooning sex position as your favorite, it means you really value comfort, love, and the emotional and intimate aspect of sex. This is what really turns you on. 

"It could be that you need to feel relaxed and unhurried to feel horny and receptive and that you like a slow, simmering build-up before you climax," Lucy explains.

Ciara McGinley

Ciara McGinley is a meditation practitioner and health journalist. She qualified as a meditation teacher with the British School of Meditation in 2020 and is the founder of Finding Quiet, a series of classes, workshops and retreats that combine meditation practices and mindfulness techniques to make mindful living realistic in an always-switched-on modern world. She is all about bettering that mind-body connection but believes wellness looks different to everyone.

Ciara is also the former Health Channel Editor at woman&home and has covered all things health and wellbeing for years, from fitness to sleep to relationships.