This is what your favorite sex position says about you—according to sex experts

Sensitive, shy or controlling—here is what your favorite sex positions say about you

man and woman's hands holding sheets in bed
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Did you know your favorite sex positions can say a lot about you? We asked sex experts what the most popular positions could reveal about your personality and their answers might surprise you... 

You can tell a lot about someone from their must-have meals, their go-to movies, and even their favorite vibrator! But, have you ever wondered what your favorite sex positions say about you? The best sex positions create intimacy in a relationship and spice up things in the bedroom, but they can also suggest a lot about the type of person you are and what you value in bed. 

From classic missionary to fun-loving cowgirl, the experts at Bed SOS did some digging and nailed down the top five most popular positions. Then, we asked sex experts what these sexy positions reveal about your personality. Ready to de-code your go-to sex position and figure out what your favorite is revealing about you? You can thank us later...  

What your favorite sex position says about you 

1. Missionary position with partner on top

Missionary has got a bad rep, often referred to as a little vanilla (aka boring). But, we couldn’t disagree more and it seems we aren’t the only ones.

The classic position came out on top in the Bed SOS survey, with 27% of participants rating it as their favorite sex position. An oldie but a goodie, the position was more popular with women than men as they loved letting their partner take the lead. It’s an incredibly intimate and tender sex position that encourages closeness, eye contact, and lots of kissing. 

What does this say about you? 

If missionary with your partner on top is your favorite, it could mean you’re a little shy and lacking in self-assurance, according to Juliette Karaman, sex and intimacy coach and founder of Feel Fully You.

“If this is your favorite, it could mean you value closeness, feeling safe, and feeling held in the rest of your life, too,” adds Lucy Rowett, Certified sexologist and UK advisor of Pleasy Play.

“It could be that feeling emotionally connected is what hits your accelerator and what you need to feel your most receptive and turned on,” Lucy says. 

2. Doggy style

The top position for 20% of participants, doggy style is all about deep penetration and letting the giving partner take control. “It can feel like one of the more edgy or naughty positions because you’re facing away from your partner, you can’t see them and can enjoy the thrill of being taken from behind,” Lucy says. 

Juliette adds the nature of this technique can mean the depth of penetration is too deep for some. Make sure to use plenty of lube (see our guide to the best lubes for recommendations), and ensure your partner knows what is comfortable or uncomfortable for you. Having a safe word (a word that once said stops play) is particularly important if you’re adding elements of BDSM for beginners into the mix by tying up hands or using handcuffs. 

What does this say about you? 

If this is your favorite sex position it suggests you enjoy being dominated by your partner. Surrendering to the experience and letting your partner take control can be exhilarating and a huge turn-on (it's one of the most common sexual fantasies after all). 

“It could be that you like to take more risks, that you thrive in excitement and the unconventional, and you are more vocal about your wants and desires,” Lucy explains. 

"For a woman or somebody with a vulva, in doggy style, different parts of the vagina are stimulated and it's the perfect position for deep penetration. Again, it can be the position of ultimate surrender that can feel incredibly satisfying,” Lucy adds. 

3. Missionary position with partner on bottom

Fifteen percent of survey participants rated missionary with their partner on the bottom as their top sex position. We know that missionary is a super-intimate position that allows for lots of touching, kissing, and eye contact. It's also a great opportunity to add clitoral stimulation with vibrators or sex toys into the mix (our guide to the best sex toys has got you covered). 

Switching up this classic position and getting on top of your partner says a lot about the type of person you are in the bedroom. 

What does this say about you?

Confident and in control—this is the vibe you’re giving off if missionary with your partner on the bottom is your favorite sex position. 

“Maybe you just love seeing the look of delight and pleasure in your partner's face, knowing that you are doing this with them. It could be that you like to be more dominant, and also to freely move your body and 'call the shots' so to speak,” Lucy says.

4. Cowgirl

A position that's pleasurable for men and women, but in very different ways—the cowgirl sex position was favored by 8% of participants. 

Cowgirl is a very visual position that is a huge turn-on for men. But, more importantly, it can be incredibly pleasurable for women and people with vulvas—allowing them to move freely and control the stimulation of the clitoris.

"You've got direct clitoral stimulation, plus you can freely move your hips and pelvis which make having an orgasm much easier," says Lucy. 

What does this say about you?

Opting for cowgirl in the bedroom suggests you're at ease with your body and you're comfortable with your partner, Julliette tells us. 

"If you favor this position it could mean you know what you like and you want to have it!" Lucy adds. 

By controlling the speed, intensity, and angles, you are totally taking charge. You know what you want and how you want it, and you're prioritizing your own orgasm and pleasure. 

5. Spooning

Popular with 4% of survey participants, the spooning sex position is intimate and warm. If you're the little spoon it can be comforting to be held by your partner. 

Like missionary position, there's lots of opportunity for skin-on-skin contact, looking into each other's eyes, and kissing your partner's erogenous zones

"You can start off just cuddling in bed which suddenly turns into something more, with very little effort or energy required. It's brilliant especially when you're low on energy and tired out," Lucy explains.

"It is more of a surrendered position for the little spoon, though it allows an element of control as the depth of penetration can be varied with the positioning of legs," Juliette adds. 

What does this say about you?

If you rate the spooning sex position as your favorite it means you really value comfort, love, and the emotional and intimate aspect of sex. This is what really turns you on. 

"It could be that you need to feel relaxed and unhurried in order to feel horny and receptive and that you like a slow, simmering build-up before you climax," Lucy explains.