It might come as a surprise to learn that Mel Robbins struggles with self-doubt and nerves sometimes. But she does, and revealed she recently felt those emotions in a big way.
In a recent podcast episode, Mel explained she wasn’t ready for her recent tour and experienced a lot of nerves, chaos, and self-doubt as she prepared for it. But, she says, she powered through and did it anyway - and found that everything really was ok when she pushed herself to do something scary.
She's taught us so many mindset hacks from her tips on letting the “meaningless stuff” go to her genius 5-second-rule for keeping motivated and her 7 ‘tiny habits’ to make your life better. Now, Mel says the fear, overthinking, and perfectionism made her realise six important 'lessons' that can help people overcome fear and 'live the life that you want'. Those lessons are:
- 1. What If You Did it Bigger?
- 2. Bring the Fun
- 3. Start with the End
- 4. Things Will Go Wrong, And It Will Be OK
- 5. Fear Means It Matters
- 6. Do it Because You Think You Can't
1. What If You Did it Bigger?
"What if you approached the things you want to do in your life, or the things that you're already doing, and you did it bigger," Mel asked, adding that, "Doing it bigger means doing it bigger than your fears."
So, for example, she said, "Maybe you have always wanted to take a dance class but you're a terrible dancer. Go sign up.
"When you go bigger, it's just like sitting in that seat in the rollercoaster and locking yourself in," she added, explaining that you'll feel uncomfortable, nervous and afraid at times, but it will all eventually pay off as you've pushed yourself.
2. Bring the Fun
"Aren't you sick and tired of the world being serious? Aren't you tired of everything being so heavy?" Well, Mel says, a great way to overcome fears, worries, anxiety and nervousness is to "bring the fun."
Counteracting your nervous feelings with a lighthearted touch of fun and suggesting to yourself that you might be taking things a little "too seriously", she says, helps to take the pressure off of you a little and then facing your fear and getting through a nerve-inducing moment is much easier.
3. Start with the End
"Whenever you're doing anything in life, I want you to always start with the end," she said.
"It means, before you begin, I want you to imagine how the thing ends. It's a super powerful hack that really sets you up to succeed and it gives you a roadmap for how to show up for things."
It makes total sense; if you can see where you'll end up, starting something new is so much easier. Using her example of the dance class again, going to that first lesson with the image of yourself wowing on the dance floor the next time you go to a party or wedding - wow! The motivation completely grows.
4. Things Will Go Wrong, And It Will Be OK
But while you strive for that final image, along the way things will go wrong. But, Mel says, "It's a skill in life to know that when things roll in a different direction, you can just kind of roll with them."
Learning to regulate your emotions, react to a situation and try to retake control of it, you learn something in that moment - probably more than you would have if things had gone right.
5. Fear Means It Matters
The simple mantra "fear means it matter," is a brilliant way to reframe your minset and your fear - and it even helps to see fear as a good thing. If you weren't even a little bit nervous to do something, it would mean that you "didn't care about it," Mel says.
"Expect it," Mel says of fear. "And see it, not as a sign you're going to screw up, but see all that clenching and nerves and panicking as a sign that you just care about how it goes."
6. Do it Because You Think You Can't
Whether it's moving to a place you never thought you could live in, taking a cooking class when you never thought you could be a good cook, or even saying no to someone who you've always said yes to, Mel says that's when you say "yes to the person that you want to be."
She added, "I love this advice because it's so simple - and it's also obvious too. If you just did the things you thought you couldn't do, you'd be the person that you always wanted to be."
