'We’re all trying to pretend nothing’s different' – Jo Whiley reveals the quiet pain of caring for elderly parents during the festive season
The presenter shares the difficulty of facing Christmas with parents who are struggling to care for themselves and don't want to have help from outsiders
Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball tackle plenty of pertinent midlife issues as part of their brilliant podcast, Dig It.
The presenters often chat candidly about the challenges that come with HRT and getting the right help throughout menopause.
In the run up to the festive period, Zoe shared that heartbreaking reality of facing Christmas without her mum, and most recently, Jo has opened up about how different celebrations will be for her this year, as she balances festivities alongside caring for ageing parents.
Her words will likely resonate with a lot of midlife women, who find themselves "sandwiched" between the needs of their children, and the growing needs of parents in their geriatric years.
Jo's parents are also reluctant to accept that their Christmas, and their lives, look different this year, as Jo reveals they're pushing back when it comes to accepting the help they need.
"I'm thinking of people whose Christmases are a bit different to how they used to be," Jo says, adding, "I've really found that this year with my parents."
The presenter details how her mum is currently waiting for various test results alongside "three operations so she's in less pain."
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She continues to reveal that her mum is "a shell of who she used to be," in contrast to "the real force" she once was.
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This year, Jo decorated her mum's house ready for Christmas, something she hasn't previously needed to do.
"It felt weird decorating my mum's house because I'm not used to that, normally your parents decorate their house," she says.
Jo continues to reveal that her mum is in quite a lot of pain on "so many painkillers," that she's "not quite the same."
The presenter has been trying to organise outside help to come in and "take some of the pressure off" her mum and dad, but says her mum is reluctant to accept this, "desperately trying for everything to be the same."
Her mums is also trying to maintain a persona of everything being fine, to avoid worrying Jo's sister, Frances.
Frances has cri du chat syndrome, a rare genetic disorder caused by a partial chromosome deletion on chromosome five.
However, while they try to protect Frances's feelings about the situation, Jo says she herself needs to face the "reality that mum can't walk at the moment."
"It's this weird game," she explains, adding, "we're all trying to pretend that nothing's different and everything's the same" when it comes to her mum and dad's declining health.
Speaking further about her parents, Jo shares that they're "finding it very difficult to accept having help from professional people."
Because of this, they've had to find alternative ways to cope instead. "You tend to rely on family friends, and people who have known us for a long time, to come in and just fit into the family and make it all feel normal," she says.
"It's actually not [normal]," she concludes, referring to the lack of normality and level of difficulty the situation brings.

Lucy is a multi-award nominated writer and blogger with seven years’ experience writing about entertainment, parenting and family life. Lucy worked as a freelance writer and journalist at the likes of PS and moms.com, before joining GoodtoKnow as an entertainment writer, and then as news editor. The pull to return to the world of television was strong, and she was delighted to take a position at woman&home to once again watch the best shows out there, and tell you why you should watch them too.
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