‘Liking yourself is more achievable’: Fearne Cotton on the unrealistic expectation to ‘love’ yourself

We're big fans of Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball's Dig It podcast, and we're equally enamoured by Fearne Cottons Happy Place podcast - both are safe spaces for women to ask questions about issues affecting them, and feel supported by other women.

Recently, these two favourite things of ours collided in a perfect amalgamation, when Fearne was a special guest on Dig It. And she was there to talk about a topic that resonates with many women: the challenge of liking yourself.

Fearne is a firm mental health advocate. Jo asks the presenter, "You think that the cornerstone of mental health is liking yourself, so if people are listening to this, how do they turn things around - how do they like themselves more, how do they move forward in their lives?"

It's no surprise that Fearne gives a very grounded and achievable response. "We hear a lot that you're meant to love yourself," she says, adding, "And I think that's a big ask, for us to sit and say, 'I love myself!"

"I'm definitely not there yet," she says, as many other women will likely nod in agreement with.

If you're with Fearne and also not quite in the "loving yourself" space, what do you do? "I think liking ourselves is a lot more achievable," she says wisely, adding, "The one step before that, or it certainly is for me, is forgiving myself."

"I don't think you can get to liking yourself, until you can make peace with your past," she says, alluding to memories that someone might hold, preventing them from finding inner peace with themselves.

"I had a lot of that to do," Fearne continues, adding that we need to first "land on acceptance" before we can begin to start liking ourselves.

She advises people to look inwards at things from their past and instead of dwelling on how much we don't like ourselves for them, instead say, "'OK, that wasn't great, but I moved on and I've learned, and I've grown from it."

The presenter recalls doing a lot of laying in bed at night "replaying awful moments over and over," and "torturing" herself with past memories, until she realised this was helping nobody.

"If we can forgive ourselves, that is such a nice, peaceful place to be," she concludes.

When the clip from Fearne's segment on Dig It was shared to Instagram, audiences agreed that having the three presenters together was a brilliant combination.

One fan wrote, "I'm a huge fan of Fearne and her books and podcast, so to have her on my new favourite podcast is a gift. You three women are broadcasting trailblazers."

Agreeing with Fearne, another added, "I’m definitely not there yet either. But I’m making tiny changes that are helping me get there. Thank you for your honest and open conversations, we need more people doing this!"