Everyone is so busy these days, it feels rare to get time to just 'be'. But Mel Robbins says we should make the effort, to answer a set of questions she says 'will help you reflect on where you are right now'.
By slowing down and checking in with yourself, she says, you can get 'clarity' and see more clearly the things that you already know subconsciously could be 'better' in your life.
“You know what’s working and what brings you joy,” the author and life coach says in a recent episode of her podcast, “But it’s so easy to get caught up in the business."
“How are you really doing right now?”
“Before you blurt out the automatic ‘I’m fine, Mel!’, just stop,” she says. “Close your mouth. Take in a breath through your nose and just sit in silence with that question for a second. How are you really doing right now?”
She wants you to “sit in your body” and really dig into how you’re feeling. “Are you overwhelmed, content, anxious, excited, frustrated? Restless, peaceful, worried about things? Are you feeling good? Whatever it is, just name it. You don’t have to fix it, you don’t have to do anything. Just answer the question. Acknowledge it.”
“Who is someone you’ve spent time with lately or you wish you had?”
Mel “loves” this question because it forces you, no matter how “busy” your life is, to realise who is important.
She explains, “One of the big mistakes I’ve made in my life, when I look back over the 56 years, is that there are periods of my life when I truly prioritised my family and my friends and then there are periods of my life where I truly prioritised work or school. And it is very clear that in those areas where I did prioritise friends and family, I felt better.”
“What’s something you’ve done recently that’s brought you joy?"
Rather than focusing on the “big stuff” that can make you happy, like city breaks and beach holidays, Mel wants you to think of “a little thing that you did” that recently brought you joy.
For Mel, there is peace to be found in her garden. “I actually enjoy having a big glass of ice water and walking around my house outside and deadheading flowers,” she says. “I find it so meditative."
“What’s one thing you’ve been putting off that’s just draining your energy?”
It’s simple, Mel says, just do the thing you’ve been putting off.
“The fact you’re not doing it weighs on your mind,” she explains. But, she adds, “The things you’ve been procrastinating on for years literally can take five minutes,” and the relief of having it off of your to-do list will make your day-to-day so much easier – and it might spur you on to do those other things you’ve been putting off too.
"What’s something new that you want to try that you can do during the week?”
For her final question, Mel wants you to try something you've been wanting to try.
“Is it a dance class, a fitness class, a cooking class, an art class?” Whatever it is, whether you’re good at it, bad at it, she wants you to incorporate something fun into each week and carve out time for something you love to do, rather than promising yourself emptily that you’ll fit it in at some point in the future.
“If you give yourself something to do during the work week, it means you have a reason to leave work,” she explains. “It’s so awesome to have something that you need to go and do; the class you signed up for, the lecture that you’re going to at the local library, the volunteer day.” It can boost your mood, your productivity and, overall in the long run, can massively enrich your life, she says.
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