From interestingly scented candles to launching vibrators in the most unapologetic ways, Gwyneth Paltrow is never one to follow convention.
And one way the Goop leader admirably leads the charge is with remaining good friends with a lot of her exes.
In an Instagram Q&A session with fans, Gwyneth was asked about which of her exes she’s still close with, and how she manages to achieve it – and her surprising solution was something she was once roundly mocked about.
She owes it all to “conscious uncoupling” – the term she coined for her divorce from Coldplay rocker Chris Martin.
Answering her fan’s question about if she’s still on good terms with her exes, Gwyneth wrote, "Pretty much. I really believe in conscious uncoupling, when you spend meaningful time with someone, it's nice to have it morph into friendship. I don't want to have bad blood with anyone, ever (if I can help it.)"
While she didn't offer up specific names, it’s not hard to tell which of Gwyneth’s famous exes she’s remained on good terms with.
Ex-husband Chris Martin, with whom she shares children Apple and Moses, is “like a brother” to Gwyneth now, as a result of their conscious uncoupling.
Brad Pitt, who she famously dated in the 90s and nearly turned her Oscar winning role down as a result of their breakup, is most probably on the list as in a recent interview with Goop, the former couple reminisced on their relationship and openly talked about the early days of their engagement, with Paltrow revealing her father viewed Pitt as “a son.”
Towards the end of the interview Brad said, “It’s lovely to have you as a friend now…And I do love you.” Gwyneth responded with, “I love you so much."
And Gwyneth was even complimentary of ex Ben Affleck’s marriage to Jennifer Lopez. In another Q&A with fans, she was asked about Bennifer’s shotgun Las Vegas wedding, to which she replied “Love. So romantic. Very happy for them.”
Just what is conscious uncoupling?
It’s a term that Gwyneth popularized with her divorce from Chris Martin, but what’s it all really about?
From a Goop blog, they explain, “In 1976, sociologist Diane Vaughan created her ‘uncoupling theory,’ and in 2009 Katherine Woodward Thomas coined the term conscious uncoupling and began teaching this alternative to divorce to students throughout the world…to us, self-reflection must be the foundation of the process if we are to avoid repeating the same problems in the next relationship.”
“The idea of conscious uncoupling is to gain enough self-awareness that we no longer have to do it anymore because we’ve now found ourselves in a fulfilling, sustainable, long-term relationship.”
“Conscious uncoupling is the ability to understand that every irritation and argument within a relationship was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing. Because present events always trigger pain from a past event, it’s never the current situation that needs the real fixing. It’s just the echo of an older emotional injury. If we can remain conscious of this during our uncoupling, we will understand it’s how we relate to ourselves internally as we go through an experience that’s the real issue, not what’s actually happening.”
From this perspective, there are no bad guys, just two people, each playing teacher and student respectively.”
While she might have once been mocked for the term, Gwyneth’s positivity towards her exes might make this mindset worth a deeper look.
