Does love manifestation really work? Plus, how to try it yourself

Can love manifestation help you find a better relationship? We ask the experts

Illustration of two hands building a red heart out of paper, to represent love manifestation
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Daydreaming about one's deepest romantic desires may be considered the folly of a hopeless romantic, but when viewed through the lens of love manifestation, all this fantasizing may be key to making those desires a reality.

It's unclear when the phrase 'romance is dead' was created but it's safe to say there's a slim percentage of people who haven't ever thought it to be true. So what if we were to say that by switching up your attitude and belief systems, you have the power to bring the love you want and need into your life? Well, say hello to love manifestation. While manifesting love won't automatically land the perfect person on your doorstep, it will offer you the chance to become more open and available to love when it does come around. 

We've already posed the question - what is manifestation? - and if we learned anything from the concept, it's that specificity is key. In other words, doing a deep dive into what exactly love manifestation is and how to do it will be the best way to hit the nail on the head. To do this, here, woman&home speaks to experts in love manifestation to reveal all you need to know - from how it works to the best methods, and importantly, how you'll know it's working.

What is love manifestation? 

According to mindset and manifestation coach Maria Concha, love manifestation is, "the process in which your thoughts, feelings, and actions come together to create your love reality". We all have the power to think what we want into reality as the more you think something to be true (i.e. that you are deserving of a healthy relationship), the more you will behave in a way that attracts this. 

It goes without saying that positive thinking has an effect on all of us, and that's where the power of love manifestation lies. Being more bright-eyed and optimistic certainly makes one more open to the idea of love and boosts our ability to see opportunities where we may not have seen them before. Yes, there's a lot of inner work involved, but love manifestation encourages us to look outward too. 

For sexologist and attachment therapist Madalaine Munro, love manifestation is based on three key pillars: understanding what we want in a partner, understanding what we want in a relationship, and creating and maintaining the love we want. All of them involve considering and reflecting on our desires, needs, and patterns of behavior. 

The latter consideration, maintenance, is an important element that's easy to forget, says Munro. "Manifesting the partner and the relationship style is one thing but maintaining it is another," she says. "This is where we need to continue the work of reflection and awareness, to notice which protective patterns may come up."

However, if focusing your thoughts, feelings, and actions on love sounds like a lot of work and the idea of pulling back from no-strings-attached partnerships, casual dating, and sex apps, and leaning into more intentional dating seems scary, perhaps you're not ready yet - or, maybe this is your little reminder that if you don't ask, you won't receive.

Back view of couple in love in fall nature watching sunset

(Image credit: Getty Images)

How to manifest love

1. Understand your subconscious patterns of behavior

Whether you're well versed in the world of therapy or just know the social media buzzwords, it's more than likely you've heard of 'patterns'.  These are repetitive actions we do without much thought, and examining any negative repetitions in your romantic life is key to understanding present and future romantic relationships - an integral part of love manifestation. 

For example, negative repetitions may include pursuing relationships with people who can't (or won't) offer what you need in a partnership, frequently entering a rebound relationship after a breakup, or putting other elements of your life 'on hold' as you search for a suitable partner. 

It may be challenging, but taking a look inward is important. As Munro points out, our subconscious patterns create the life we have. "Affirmations (which are some of the best manifestation methods for beginners) won’t work if you have protective beliefs in your subconscious and coping strategies in your autonomic nervous system," she explains.

2. Expand your idea of love

If you haven’t grown up around healthy love, then your subconscious may not believe it is possible, which is why Munro says you might need to saturate yourself with it. "It's important to surround yourself with expanders, people who have healthy love, even if it's through coaching, TV, or books," she says. 

If it isn’t in your near vicinity, try to make space for these sorts of people (real or characters) in your life. "Aim to be around people that uplift you and motivate you," she says. "Healthy friendships make you more comfortable for when healthy relationships start to grow." 

Want a recommendation? Check out our library of the best sex books, as recommended by relationship experts. These cover all different types of love and relationship dynamics.

3. Decide and declare

Concha asserts that one of the first steps to love manifestation is deciding on the kind of love you want in your life and declaring to the Universe that you're ready for it. "This is you planting the seed," she says. "Pamper yourself, decide what you want in a partner, and tell the Universe this is how you want to be treated."

In the longer term, this could mean exploring the red flags in a relationship you'd like to avoid, working out which love languages are most important to you, and how to establish boundaries in a relationship so you can set your intentions with a partner from early on. 

Knowing and understanding yourself better is beyond useful - it's vital in the search for the right partner. Learning how you love and how you want to be loved will help in knowing what you don't want, which is a key part of dating.

This must come from a place of self-love, however. Taking the time and effort to really decide what matters to you in your ideal partner is a must, says Aysha Bell, a meditation and mindset expert, and this needs to come from knowing your own worth and what you deserve. "We must first find that love with ourselves and set ourselves in alignment with what we want to receive. Loving ourselves is where we make this magic happen."

Woman holding a mug and writing down in a diary as she sits on couch

(Image credit: Getty Images)

4. Visualize your love

Visualizing your expectations down to the finest details is a vital part of love manifestation. "I can’t express how powerful this is," says Bell. "So think carefully and thoroughly about what you want."

Think about the details that excite you most about this ideal person and your relationship. "You're the one creating this love story so make it as juicy as you'd like," says Concha. This could involve considering the experiences you'd like to share with your partner, how you'd like to be intimate when your person comes along, and the kind of life you'd have together. 

"Watch the movie of this love story play out in your mind and allow yourself to feel it," she urges. "See yourself in loving, exciting scenarios that bring a smile to your face. This is you, matching the vibration of what you wish to attract into your life."

5. Embody the feeling of being in love

This next step may sound a little confusing, but stay with us. As you visualize your life with your desired partner, it's vital to embody the person that already has this love in their life, says Concha, and behave as if your dream person has already manifested. 

"How would you be showing up?" she asks. "Most likely not obsessing over an outcome. Instead, you'd be taking self-care time, doing things that make you feel good regardless of whether a partner is in your life or not." This could mean making time for friends, and focusing on celebrating wins in your life such as achievements in your family, hobbies, or your job.

6. Take aligned action

Aligned action is part of this embodiment and it's all about taking physical steps dictated by your priorities, your values, and your goals. These are the steps that make space for the right person to come into your life. 

"This may mean going to different social events, going on dating apps for relationships, or trying new hobbies," suggests Munro. Whether it's a yoga studio or speed dating event, these are the places where you're most likely to meet new people and so have the most chance of meeting a potential partner. As much as love manifestation is about positive thinking, action is essential too. 

"Wherever you go, try to speak to people," she says. "This will not only teach you how to be more confident over time, but it will make it easier for you when there is someone you are interested in speaking with."

As you're moving in these new spaces though, it's important to stay true to what you really want to manifest and avoid falling back into your patterns. Concha suggests making a list of core values and desires that you want in a love partner. 

"Your job is to pursue and say yes to potential partners that align with the qualities and core values that you want and no to the ones that don’t," she says, and saying no to those who don't match your wants is important. It makes it clear to the Universe that you're not interested. Otherwise, warns Concha, you will keep attracting more of the wrong kind of person - whether you want it or not.

Group of women sitting together at a yoga studio, laughing and talking

(Image credit: Getty Images)

7. Surrender

Now, you need to surrender. Surrendering is one of the trickier aspects of love manifestation because after focusing on all these very specific factors, you just need to let go and trust the process. 

"It's simply allowing love into your life without attachment to one specific outcome or person," says Concha. "It doesn’t serve you to be a rigid, linear thinker." So as important as visualizing your life outcome is for manifestation, don't let it define your reality. Make space for the unexpected because you never know what could happen. 

"In fact when you’re open to creative possibilities for love, the Universe may surprise you and you’ll meet someone totally unexpected, and one day you'll look back and understand why it didn’t work out with all the other ones."

 How long does it take to manifest love? 

"It could happen within minutes, weeks, or months," says Concha, who says there's no specific timeline for manifestation. It is hard to put a time in how long it takes to manifest the love we want, say the experts, and clock-watching isn't going to help the process whatsoever.

Your focus shouldn't be on the when but the how. "The more you stay in alignment with what you want to see, the more fruitful the love journey will be, regardless if you meet the person in one day or a year."

Bell adds, "we may find love coming our way but if we aren't ready in ourselves, we might not recognize it. Our needs, hopes, and desires can change. So being specific about what we ask for is key."

Munro also suggests letting go of timelines as they can cause frustration and expectation. "When we are attached to a certain outcome and timing then it can create a sense of urgency and scarcity."

So how does she suggest her clients keep the faith during what may be a lengthy process? "I share with clients that their partner is also preparing themselves," says Munro, "and that the Universe knows the best time for you to meet."

Signs love manifestation is working 

  • You begin to feel better in yourself: "You know you are worthy of the love you want," says Munro. "You trust the timing of it all, and you start meeting people with more of the qualities on your list."
  • Your daily life improves: Love manifestation shows itself in a number of ways, explains Bell, including the loving care, and kindness you may experience in your daily life. "Just the simple living gestures of others," she adds. "When we are in a living frequency we will attract and radiate this. This aligns us with love."
  • Things begin to happen unexpectedly: After investing more in yourself, you may start to experience your life flowing a bit more and you'll feel lighter, says Concha, discussing the magic of it all. "Unexpected things start to manifest so much so that perhaps you even forget that you are single and feel this overwhelming sense of faith that love will come when it's meant to."

Critics of manifestation may consider it 'woo-woo' and point out that it has no scientific backing. However, in uncertain times, there's no disputing that gaining a positive outlook on finding romantic love is sure to be helpful for those seeking it out.

Aoife Hanna
Junior News Editor

Aoife is an Irish journalist and writer with a background in creative writing, comedy, and TV production.

Formerly woman&home's junior news editor and a contributing writer at Bustle, her words can be found in the Metro, Huffpost, Delicious, Imperica and EVOKE.

Her poetry features in the Queer Life, Queer Love anthology.

Outside of work you might bump into her at a garden center, charity shop, yoga studio, lifting heavy weights, or (most likely) supping/eating some sort of delicious drink/meal.