There's an actual psychological reason why we can relate to all of Sex and the City characters, according to a therapist

Are you a Carrie or a Charlotte? This is the psychological reason you may not be able to pick

sex and the city characters
(Image credit: Getty Images)

According to famous TikTok therapist Therapy Jeff, this is the interesting psychological reason we can all find relatability in the 'Sex and the City' characters.

It's the age-old question that's been on the minds of Sex and the City fans for ages - Which character are you?

Maybe you've taken an online quiz here or there to generate an answer, or you've religiously watched the series, trying to find pieces of yourself in each character. Or perhaps, you may think you act and dress like Carrie Bradshaw, but your friends tell you that you're actually a Charlotte. You may, however, find that you don't necessarily fit into just one character's archetype - and it turns out, there's a psychological reason behind this. 

Famed TikTok therapist Jeff Guenther, otherwise known by his online alias "Therapy Jeff," recently went on the This Changes Everything podcast, and explained the psychological reason why we're not necessarily meant to fit into one specific character archetype from Sex and the City. 

Carrie’s dressed up nightie

(Image credit: Getty Images)

Psychology explains why we can't simply relate to just one character from 'Sex and the City'

"That show was based of off Carl Jung's interpretation of the personality," Jeff said of Sex and the City. 

In case you're unfamiliar (as we certainly were), Carl Jung is a psychologist who developed the idea that there are four parts to everyone's personality, and Jeff explained how this relates to the hit HBO series. 

"Alright, there's four parts of the personality," he started, before delving into which characters fit which personality part. "There's the 'anima,' which is like female part, and then there's the 'animus,' which is the male part. The female part is the really girly girl, like Charlotte. She's like the exaggerated female part. And then the 'animus,' the masculine part, is Miranda."

He then continued the exploration of Samantha and Carrie's characters. "Then there's the 'shadow' part, who is Samantha, the sort of id hedonistic, 'I'll do what I want,'" he said. "And then there's the 'persona,' what we want to show to the world and how we want to be seen, which is Carrie."

Sex and the City

(Image credit: Getty Images)

Then, he explained why all of these different personality "parts" can't exist without the others, making it clearer why this iconic foursome is so unforgettable. 

"They can't operate on their own. They sort of fall apart into their own exaggerated miseries," he said. And as we know, the SATC ladies certainly had their fair share of individual struggles (i.e., Charlotte's marriage to Trey, Samantha's many failed sexcapades, Carrie realizing she spent $40,000 on shoes, etc.) 

"But, when they all get together and have cocktails together, they're operating in perfect symmetry. That's why we can all relate to one of those, because all of those parts are inside of us, and we probably lean more toward one compared to the others," he said. 

Is your mind blown? 

Sex and the City debuted 25 years ago, in June 1998

(Image credit: Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

The This Changes Everything Instagram page posted a clip from the episode, and people sounded off in the comments about their surprise and support of this concept presented by Therapy Jeff. 

"My theory was always that they made one whole woman, and when people would ask me ‘which one I am’ I always said I am all of them… nice to know my theory was based," one person commented. 

"I can’t believe I never knew this!!!" another fan commented. 

Other fans pointed out that they sensed a clear dynamic shift in the absence of Samantha in the show's reboot, And Just Like That...

"That's why it doesn't work without Samantha," a fan pointed out in the comments. 

Madeline Merinuk
US Lifestyle News Writer

Madeline Merinuk is woman&home's US lifestyle news writer, covering celebrity, entertainment, fashion, and beauty news.

She graduated in 2021 with a B.A. in Journalism from Hofstra University, winning multiple student journalism awards, including a National Hearst Award, during her time there. After graduating, she worked at, the digital site for the Today Show, where she wrote pop culture news and interviewed big-name personalities like Emily Ratajkowski, Haley Lu Richardson, Emma Corrin, and more.

Her personal interests, in no particular order, are: cheese, Joni Mitchell, reading, hot yoga, traveling, having multiple chapsticks in every handbag at all times, and dancing to ABBA songs as if she were in the Mamma Mia movies.