Rob Lowe reveals the secret to his 31-year marriage with Sheryl Berkoff

Rob Lowe's secret to a successful marriage has been revealed as the actor opens up on his 31-year-long marriage to Sheryl Berkoff

Rob Lowe's secret to a successful marriage
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Rob Lowe's secret to a successful marriage has been revealed as the star gets candid about the natural 'ebbs and flows' in a relationship and how he and his wife make it work.

In the iHeartPodcast Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi, Rob Lowe spoke openly about his wife, Sheryl Berkoff, a former makeup artist who he began dating in 1989 after they worked together on the 1990 thriller Bad Influence.

The couple then dated for just a couple of years before they married in 1991 and had their first child, Matthew, in 1993. Their second son, John Owen, was born in 1995. The actor and his wife have been married now for three decades and Rob revealed the secret to their success - marrying your best friend and keeping the passion alive!

Rob Lowe

(Image credit: Getty Images)

"It is not just Hollywood, it's everywhere. Marriage is hard.… It can be hard – marriage is not hard. If it were hard, nobody would do it. It can be hard. And will be hard," said Rob as he explained that it takes work, but being with the right person makes marriage so much easier.

"It's all about who you choose. Sheryl was and is my best friend, so if you marry for anything other than the fact that it's your best friend, you're at a disadvantage from the jump, because that will sustain when the other stuff ebbs and flows," he said.

Even when giving advice to his sons, Rob tells them that the key to happiness is marrying their best friend. In 2022, Rob's eldest son Matthew told People, "He's great with relationship advice. He'll say, 'When I found your mother, I knew she was the one. I married my best friend, and it's worked out perfectly for me. So take that advice.' ... He gives little pearls of wisdom like that that I keep with me. Hopefully, I will end up in a 30-year marriage like him."

Rob Lowe

Matthew Edward Lowe, Rob Lowe, Sheryl Berkoff, and John Owen Lowe 

(Image credit: Getty Images)

Aside from marrying his best friend, Rob also said that keeping a spark alive and keeping passion within the relationship is another important factor that keeps his marriage happy.

"I do believe you need the heat for sure," he said. "If you don't have the heat – and that's a chemical thing – I mean I still have it with Sheryl, you gotta keep the heat."

The actor then added that passion is another thing that ebbs and flows in relationships, as he called it a 'human mystery.' "By the way that comes and goes too. There are days, there are times when you're just like ‘Uhhh,’ and then all of a sudden you're just wild for somebody. It's one of the great human mysteries," he said.

The actor then added that for him, the most final important thing is knowing which battles are worth fighting and knowing how to forgive and move on from disagreements with your spouse. "People say marriage takes work. I'm not sure if it takes work, but what it does take is forgiveness, and being really cognizant of what hill you're willing to die on," said Rob.

Laura Harman

Laura is the Entertainment Editor for woman&home who primarily covers television, film, and celebrity news. Laura loves drinking and eating and can often be found trying to get reservations at London's trendiest restaurants. When she's not wining and dining, Laura can also be found travelling, baking, and hiking with her dog.