'Throw perfection out of the window' - Ashley Jensen on embracing a relaxed Christmas and what the festive period is really about

Christmas is fast approaching, and for many women, that means frantically ticking things off an overflowing to-do list, rather than being able to enjoy the moment.

As well as carrying the regular mental load for most of the year, the Christmas mental load can be absolutely crushing - trees to be decorated, presents to be wrapped, food to be bought and prepared and a Christmas Day that starts and ends with exhaustion.

However, actress Ashley Jensen believes that when they hit midlife, women start to let go of this idea of yuletide perfection.

Wanting her fellow midlifers to embrace a relaxed Christmas, the Shetland star also wants people to make a return to what the festive period should really be about.

During an appearance on the My Life In A Biscuit Tin podcast, Ashley says of midlife women, "I think we're of a certain age where we've thrown perfection out of the window."

Elaborating on what Christmas in her house looks like, Ashley shares, "I aim for a tasteful tree, but there's a bit of chaos around the back - a bit like my life.

"Perfection is overrated," she says with a laugh, continuing, "I embrace a bit of chaos." For Ashley, tradition is a huge part of Christmas Day for her.

She loves "ornaments that you've had for years that have been your parents' ornaments, and little ornaments that your child has made".

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Between herself and podcast host, Liz Moseley, the pair believe there's nothing wrong with "silly cocktails, watching the telly and a cheese and pineapple hedgehog" being the order of the day on Christmas Day.

"A Bailey's and Babycham if you want" can always follow.

Arguing that the real spirit of Christmas has been lost, Ashley says, "Tradition has all got sucked up with consumerism a little bit."

She adds, "At Christmas, it's about remembering people - people who are with us and not with us, people who are on their own, and just sharing a cup of tea with someone."

Liz and Ashley both agree that remembering lost loved ones is a huge part of the festive period, and also another good reason the big day doesn't have to be perfect.

Liz says, "It is bittersweet, and it is sad, you do remember people that aren't around, and you can't get away from that. If you have to have a bit of a tear in your eye, that's ok too."

In the same way she's embracing the magic of imperfection at Christmas, Ashley is taking the same approach to ageing and being a woman in her middle years.

In conversation with The Guardian, she says, "I still feel so saddened that we are in a society where women, especially, feel they can’t embrace the wisdom of ageing.

"There isn’t as much collagen in my face as there used to be, and I’ve got laughter lines and a tummy that’s there because I’ve given birth to a child, but at least it all still works!"

She adds, "I’m in the middle of the menopause, and there have been times when I feel as if I am wearing someone else’s costume, like I have completely forgotten who I am, which has been quite disconcerting. But I still believe it’s an honour and a privilege to get old."