Rich and cosy, Jo Malone Vanilla Scotch is like Claudia Winkleman's Traitors wardrobe in fragrance form
Warm, unique and distinctly Scottish, of course, I was drawn to Jo Malone London's Scent of the Season
Like everyone with a pulse and a TV License, I am superglued to Celebrity Traitors. The irresistible mix of round table tension, turret skullduggery and Miranda nailing Little Mix choreo is just perfection.
But would it hit me in the same place were it not for the Scottish castle? Or Claudia Winkleman in her thick Aran knits, kilts and tweeds? Probably not; like many Scots who've left, I'm awash with misty-eyed nostalgia for a rugged, heather-strewn homeland I didn't really grow up in. Very much an Edinburgh central girl over here.
So, you can imagine my delight when Jo Malone London's 2026 Christmas collection theme was announced as... tartan tales! And it included the most bonnie plaid-bowed and bevilled bottle of Vanilla Scotch Jo Malone fragrance, which is so classy, cosy and Celtic it's essentially Winkleman's Traitors' wardrobe in fragrance form.
I was always going to be drawn to this due to my aforementioned cultural bias, but its cashmere cosiness and suggestion of naughtiness would win anyone over. The vanilla perfume is there at first, with its universally comforting charm, and a complexity that says pod, not pudding. Then we get a sort of oaky, smoky warmth and a little kick of Old Fashioned cocktails by the fire. This is definitely the sort of thing that a man or a woman would happily wear, probably at night time, ideally fireside and wearing something dark and tactile.
A lot of people would look at Vanilla Scotch eau de cologne and think, why on earth would I want to smell like whisky? Which is fair, especially if you don't partake in a dram yourself, or even if you do and are thinking of the medicinal honk of famous Islay big boys like Laphroaig.
May I try and convince you to try this boozy perfume with a little tasting journey? If you've ever been to a distillery or any old tourist bar on The Royal Mile to try single malt whisky, they will tell you this: get the first sniff and the first sip out of the way and pay it no heed. The alcohol fumes are so strong you won't get anything but burn and booze.
But as your olfactory system relaxes into the whacking great ABV and becomes able to take in other things, some magic happens. Gorgeous little whiffs of caramel, or Christmas cake, or salty sea brine if it's distilled on the coast, or, yes, iodine for the Islay peatheads who like that kind of thing (I don't.)
It's those lovely nuanced notes that you get in this perfume, not the alcohol explosion. It's spice and wood and all the lovely wintry things, hidden within layers but so worth taking the time to sniff out, uncover and unmask - like a smiling assassin passing the croissants at the breakfast table. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday.
