“I became an accidental activist" says Anna Whitehouse, and "we’re closer to the future my daughters deserve, but the job isn't done"

“I can remember the moment, in March 2015, when I decided to stop saying ‘sorry’ for being a stressed working mum trying to juggle everything and to start speaking out about the injustice of it all,” recalls Anna Whitehouse, mother to three biological daughters and two stepchildren.

“On that depressing commute from my job at L’Oreal, I’d apologised to my boss for zooming out of work in a rush. I was sitting on a miniature primary coloured chair in my daughter’s nursery, apologising to her carer for being 12 minutes late.

"Then I spent the journey home apologising to my uncomprehending nine-month-old strapped to her Paw Patrol backpack that I’d not been there on time for her.”

A flawed system

“I realised it wasn’t me that was broken and failing; it was the system. From that moment, I became something of an accidental activist and influencer.

"I’d tried pitching pieces on the topic to magazines and newspapers, but no one really wanted to write about burned-out mums wanting more flexibility at work, so I decided to mix things up on social media.

“The little squares of happiness I was posting to my 62 followers on Instagram at the time weren’t remotely reflecting what was going on in my life. My reality was that my career had stalled, I eventually lost my job for asking to work flexibly, I was losing my hair post-partum, and I was losing my identity, too.”

Speaking out for women

“Instead of my usual happy family pics, I decided to post an honest account of how hacked off I was, asking if anyone else felt the same and questioning how other mums tried to make it work.

“It seemed to open a portal to other women’s rage. There was such a strong, shared feeling of unfairness and anger from all these women sitting in maternal purgatory – desperately wanting to be there for their kids, needing to work for the family finances and driving themselves into the ground trying to do both.

“It became clear to me that the only way forward was flexible working so that mothers, fathers and carers would be able to do what was needed for their loved ones and hold down meaningful jobs.”

Grassroots launch

“By summer 2015, the huge engagement on social media showed me how much others believed in what I was saying, and I decided to launch ‘Flex Appeal’ with a flash mob in Trafalgar Square, London. Having printed 400 t-shirts, I was terrified no one would turn up, but 385 mums (and two dads!) came along. It was a breakthrough moment.

“The One Show reported on it, MPs became interested and suddenly the doors I was knocking on in Whitehall started to open.

“When we set out, Flex Appeal was all about writing women back in and giving women a choice on how, when and where we work. I could see how we women were trying to do it all – producing the babies, carrying the full domestic load in many cases and then carrying on with our jobs – and were utterly burning out in the process.

“But as the campaign grew, I realised that it was important for flexible working to become the norm for all employees, not just working mums.”

Downing street sessions

“What was needed was legislative change to give everyone a legal framework to put Flexible Working requests forward and make it a right in law. Despite getting so much support from other groups such as The Fawcett Society, Pregnant then Screwed and The Fatherhood Institute, it was a huge uphill battle.

“There were so many meetings, including roundtable summits at Downing Street, but I often feared it was just hot air and that little progress was being made.

“In those moments, my social media community proved invaluable. Their messages of desperation and frustration spurred me on, and they also served as a real-time focus group where the government and civil servants could see the level of engagement with the issue.

“After nine hard years of campaigning and with the help of four top female employment barristers from Old Square Chambers, the Flexible Working Bill was finally made law in 2024.

“It was a seismic achievement, and it’s great to feel all my work has not been for nothing. I have moments of holding my girls tighter, knowing we're closer to a future they deserve, but the job is by no means done.”

Delivering real change

“Flexible working needs to be proactively made available by employers to men and women of all ages. I’m joining up with The Dad Shift next May to launch the world’s biggest parents strike on 28 May to help shine a light on the importance of men getting to work flexibly too.

“I’ve also recently written a novel, Influenced, which brings to life how isolating and soul-destroying the menopause can be from a working perspective and how women need to fight back in that period of their lives where so many feel sidelined and ignored.

“I believe the future will be different for my girls. It would be incredible if my daughters and their families had a choice whether to stay home to raise their children or to pursue a career and still be able to have a family without it costing them their minds and financial security.

“My mum, my grandmother and I didn't have that choice. I’m passionate that by the time I pass the baton on to the next generation, that choice will be the norm.”