‘How do you put yourself out there as a sexual person?’: Sharon Horgan gets incredibly candid about dating in her 50s

Sharon Horgan has an incredible career as an actress and writer, known for both penning and starring in the likes of Pulling, Catastrophe and Bad Sisters.

Away from our screens, the star married TV producer Jeremy Rainbird in 2005, and the couple share daughters Amer and Sadhbh.

However, when they divorced in 2019, Sharon was 49 and a single mother navigating life after a split with juggling her career.

Heading into her 50s, there was something else looming large that she found incredibly daunting - dating in later life.

Now 56 and her daughters aged 18 and 22, Sharon says candidly, "If you are in your mid-50s and you haven’t found your person to get old with, then you’re kind of f**ked."

She adds, "Because how do you put yourself out there as a sexual person when you’re a pensioner, nearly?"

In conversation with The Irish Times, the actress reveals that she tied herself up in knots with questions about the sort of man she might find, and put herself under a lot of strain find another relationship quickly.

"I’d sort of marginalised myself and given myself this stupid, fake ticking clock that put so much pressure on me, almost as much as the biological clock puts on women," she shares.

Revealing some of the things going through her head at the time, she says, "To suddenly find yourself single and thinking, 'Well, what now? What kind of partner will I attract? At a certain age, who will be left? Will it just be the weirdos and the freaks and the institutionally single bachelors and the old men? Who will be out there?'"

The actress has a new show starting on HBO Max on September 21. While writing Youth, about a 50-something woman navigating divorce and the chaos of midlife, Sharon obviously had a lot of her real feelings and experiences to bring to the script.

She also ended up questioning whether anyone would want to turn the script into a show because of her age, asking herself, "Are you still relevant? Why would anyone want a show from someone who is hitting 60? Am I suddenly going to be persona non grata?"

"It all kind of dumped itself on me," she says, adding, "and I also thought it was kind of funny."

During one scene, her character, Alex ponders with a friend whether a woman can be sexy at 60. She asks, "Has any man ever said, ‘You have to meet my girlfriend. She’s sexy, she’s fun, she’s 60′?"

Sharon shares that she got this quote from fellow actress Courtney Cox, who felt the same way on entering her sexagenarian years.

She then realised society and the patriarchy has a lot to answer for when it comes to how women feel about themselves after reaching a certain age, and how this compounded how she felt about her ability to date and be successful at work.

"It’s a real-life patriarchal conditioning we’ve placed on ourselves – and we buy into it," she says of the limits and worries we place on ourselves.

The actress is no longer single and is dating fellow actor Barry Ward. Asked whether being in a relationship has squashed some of her age-related insecurities, she says, "I’m definitely more chilled and calmer."

She concludes, "I do think about it, just not as darkly or incessantly. I think it’s connected to happiness, and living in and appreciating today rather than fixating on the future."

Youth will stream on HBO Max from September 21.