‘It’s soul destroying’: Vanessa Feltz candidly shares experience of loneliness and the challenges of dating in her 60s
The presenter is very open about the difficulties of finding a relationship, and keeping busy to combat loneliness
Vanessa Feltz has never shied away from honesty, usually offering candid answers to questions about her personal life.
The presenter has made it quite clear in recent years that she is looking for romance, but it sadly seems to be eluding her.
Vanessa was previously married to orthopaedic surgeon Michael Kurer. After getting wed in 1985, the couple divorced in 2000 - they share grown-up daughters, Saskia and Allegra, and Vanessa is now a doting grandmother of four.
She later entered into a long-term relationship with singer Ben Ofoedu, who was 10 years her junior. They spent 16 years together until reports of Ben's alleged infidelity came to light in 2023 and the partnership came to an end.
Recently appearing on the New Chapters Podcast with Isabel Webster, Vanessa shares her experience of loneliness, the challenges of dating over 60, and what she really misses from being in a relationship.
After her Channel 5 talk show was cancelled earlier this year, the broadcaster invested her own money into a brand-new YouTube venture and about to become her own boss, is busier than ever.
When asked if she stays busy because she doesn't "like being alone" and whether she's still in her "heartbreak era," Vanessa replies, "I certainly am in the era of wondering whether when you get to certain age, all the decent men are dead or dying or snapped up."
Either that, or they're "just very very keen to be with a woman of 32," the presenter says. Some people have told her dating is a "numbers game," and she just needs to "keep going" with going on dates, but Vanessa isn't sure this will ever get her the result she wants.
Dating apps are also off limits because "if I did, whoever in a branch of Wetherspoons would definitely text every one of their friends and say, 'Oh my god, it was that Vanessa Feltz off the telly'" if they dated her.
"I've got four grandchildren, that's not particularly dignified and I don't fancy it," she explains. Her current strategy is being set up by friends, but she says when this happens it's usually "absolutely terrible."
Explaining why, she shares that she often thinks "how could you have thought that I would like that old cream cracker of a fellow" during the date, while later having to thank the friend for setting it up.
"It is quite soul destroying," she says of the continuous round of unsuccessful dates and being by herself when she wants somebody to share her life with.
Despite the challenges she faces, Vanessa says she still "totally believes" in love. Also revealing that it might just be a "stupid fantasy," she shares what she misses from being in a relationship and what she hopes to get from a new one.
"I just want somebody who reads the Sunday Times review section and turns to me and says, 'Oh you know there's an exhibition of Degas sculptures and shall we go?'"
"Is that such a big deal?" she asks of her simple request. describing what the date to the sculptures might look like, she continues, "We go and we stroll have hand in hand and have lunch, and afterwards we have great sex and have a great conversation," she says.
Once again questioning why that might be too much to ask, she says, "What's wrong with that? That's absolutely the dream."
Listing the qualities she's looking for in a future partner, Vanessa shares, "I like somebody who's a kindred spirit, an interested, interesting person who I would have fun with. That's really it."
Knowing she might not get the chance to find that person, the presenter concludes sadly, "I hate the thought that they might not exist."
