‘I didn’t ask “why” when William died’: Mary Berry reveals the reason it felt ‘wrong’ to question losing her son
She also shares that her daughter was most affected by William's death
Dame Mary Berry lost her son William in a car crash in 1989, when he was just 19-years-old.
She has previously spoken out about the impact his death has had on her life, but has now revealed that she refused to ask "why?" after William passed away, feeling it would be "wrong."
Mary also shares the reason his death hit her daughter the hardest out of her two remaining children.
Appearing on the Therapy Works podcast, Mary Tells host Julia Samuel that the aftermath of William's death was all about "going forward" and the "wonderful memories" she had of him.
"I felt so fortunate to have two other children," she explains, adding, "I never, ever asked 'why,' because I think that's wrong," she says.
Mary continues, "I remember going to church the following Sunday [after William's death] and there was a big plaque on the wall and it was the Busby family - they lost all three sons in the first World War."
This made her question, "How do you lose three?" Instead of then asking for the reason her son had been taken from the world, Mary made her life about moving forwards.
"The Busby family continued," she says, suggesting she used the family's story to help reframe loss and continue with her life, instead of ruminating on why the tragedy happened.
Part of her focus became prioritising the wellbeing of her remaining children, son Thomas and daughter Annabel.
"I'm really grateful for what I have," Mary shares, continuing, "When you lose someone like Will, I immediately had to look after the other two children who are left, particularly Annabel."
Mary says Annabel was particularly hit hard by losing her brother because "she was there with him" when it happened.
"You can imagine the shock that child had, I had to help her through that very difficult time" she says, saying that Annabel then became "vulnerable" and "leant on her friends" during the "exceedingly difficult time."
Mary recalls that her daughter then became very close to her father Paul in her grief, who was "always there for her."
She says grief was "easier" for Tom, who "definitely helped his sister" through it adding the experience of supporting her daughter has helped her "know what to do" when somebody she knows loses somebody close to them.
"I know now to go straight in, chat to them and remind them of happy times and the qualities of the person who has died, to try and bring a smile back," she says.
Mary is also known for her devotion to her husband. As well as talking about their shared experiences of grief, she also touched on their relationship during the podcast.
The cooking star calls her 94-year-old husband "the most important thing that I've got," and they've been married for 60 years.
Now having to look after Paul more than ever, Mary says she's "delighted" to do this, and is determined to keep him motivated despite his increasing difficulties with getting out.
"I'm there to help him and care for him," she says, adding, "It's very easy to get in that chair and have another snooze, and I get him out - we walk around the garden, play a bit of croquet, he does need stimulation."
She explains that when he's "stiff and in pain," motivation to go out can be hard, but she keeps encouraging him anyway.
Mary concludes, "I'm very lucky that he's there," as she thanks her parents for handing down "good genes" that allow her to keep going to care for her husband with so much energy.
