Is living apart the secret to successful relationships? Loose Women's Brenda Edwards says 'there is no formula'
But it’s worked for plenty of famous couples, including the Queen and Prince Philip
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip did it. Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton did it for years. And Gwyneth Paltrow did it with her second husband in the early years of their marriage.
How couples decide to live is quite the divisive topic, but it’s one the Loose Women panel got into recently, after actress Keke Palmer declared, if she was to ever settle down, she’d still want 'alone time' with her partner living elsewhere.
The panel widely agreed that, despite decades (or even centuries) of society telling us couples should live together, there’s actually 'no formula' for being together and every couple has to do 'what's best for you".
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Actress Keke Palmer would still want 'alone time' after settling down
The panel was inspired by Keke Palmer's comments, where she stated her ideal situation would be her partner living "around the corner... You can be in the guest house, we can be on the same land, but I'm over there and he's over there. At best, separate rooms."
Having the conversation, Judi Love, Brenda Edwards, Kéllé Bryan and Charlene White, offered nuanced takes, from Brenda in full support and Judi offering a compromise.
Judi said, "I'm all for not necessarily living together, [but] if you're coming to my house, there's no separate bedrooms. I think that's a level too far.
"I could be happy with us not living together, which is quite a change for me. I think maybe being 45, being single, being a single parent for so long, I've really like honed in on my space and I like to miss you.
"I want you to come over for three days and then you go back to yours and I miss you."
For Brenda, she endorses the separate living situation, declaring "I’m in the West Wing, you’re in the East Wing". She added, "You can have that conversation and be mature enough to say if I want my space, then that person still has their space and they have their own."
For Kéllé, it’s about each couple making their own rules.
"You know what's best for you. And I think that relationships are complicated…
"You know what's right for you as a couple. And I don't think you need to fall into any kind of formula because there is no formula. You are individuals and you're going to work out what's best for you".
One very famous couple who did just that was the late Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. It’s largely understood that, following his retirement, he moved to Wood Farm on the Sandringham estate, where he lived largely independently, while the Queen remained at Buckingham Palace and later Windsor Castle.
In a new book by royal historian Hugo Vickers, he explores this dynamic, writing, "The Queen let the Duke do exactly as he pleased. He was at his happiest at Wood Farm on the Sandringham estate.
"He enjoyed his carriage-driving, read voraciously and painted a little."
He added, "From time to time, the Queen went up by train to Norfolk to stay the weekend. Once again, she gave him a loose rein. In a sense, they had separated."
Another classic example is Vera actress Brenda Blethyn who lives separately to her husband of 26 years.
In conversation with The Telegraph, Brenda recalled the moment she decided cohabiting with her husband was no longer an option after they'd moved into a flat in Ramsgate.
"I'd be saying, 'Can I open a window, it's very hot in here?' And he'd say, 'No, it's freezing.' And after a while, I said, 'Is that flat downstairs still vacant?'"
"So I moved out," she explains. They still eat together, and their dog spends time between both apartments, but this newfound space “works brilliantly” for the pair, who have been together since 1975 and married in 2010.
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