Is it normal to have low libido in menopause? Experts explain what you need to know

If you've previously had a healthy sex life, it can be worrying to find yourself with a low libido in menopause. There are many reasons it can happen, from hormonal fluctuations to lifestyle changes, but it's important to know there are things you can do to get your sex life back on track - if you want to. 

First things first, low libido in menopause is very common. It's one sign of the hormonal changes we don't tend to talk about too often thanks to the taboo around sex, but according to research by the University of North Carolina, about 50% of women between the ages of 40 and 60 years old report a decline in their libido compared to previous years.

Of course, it's completely okay if you don't want to have sex - with proper communication, the experts agree you don't need to have sex to maintain a relationship. However, if you want to understand this change better (as it's one of the most common symptoms of menopause) and learn how to boost libido now and in the future, we've got the answers for you. Here, woman&home speaks to a doctor and a sexologist to reveal what you need to know. 

Low libido in menopause: Why does it happen?

"Changes in libido are commonly seen around perimenopause and menopause for many reasons, but the biggest factor is the change in hormone levels," explains Dr Susanna Unsworth, menopause and women's health specialist. "Libido is a complex process though and there are both physical and psychological effects that can impact it. It's also quite difficult to quantify as it can refer to desire, level of arousal, the ability to have an orgasm and personal satisfaction,"

During menopause, as you may know, hormone levels fluctuate during perimenopause and drop post-menopause. These lower levels directly impact the vaginal tissues, causing them to become dry and increasingly sensitive, which naturally has an impact on arousal and orgasm. 

Dr Unsworth, who is also the in-house gynaecology expert for INTIMINA, says that this change can have an impact on the brain too, reducing overall desire. "Combined with additional symptoms like anxiety in menopause, mood changes, and hot flushes, the overall effect is not conducive to good levels of libido."

Dr Susanna Unsworth

Dr Susanna Unsworth is a menopause and women’s health specialist. She heads up her own practice, Cambridge Women’s Health, and is the in-house women’s health expert for intimate wellbeing brand INTIMINA. 

However, it's also important to note that one person's libido during menopause may be different from another's and each symptom may impact someone differently. "Factors such as stress, relationship dynamics, and overall health can also all play a role in the fluctuation of sexual desire during this stage of life," says Megwyn White, a certified sexologist and the director of education at Satisfyer. 

There's nothing to say that you have to have sex during menopause, even if you've previously enjoyed it. Equally, you may be able to continue to do so if you feel comfortable. It's about finding what works for you and your relationship, the experts say. 

If you are looking to get your libido back, even if it doesn't look quite the same as before, here's what the experts suggest. 

Megwyn White

Megwyn White is a pioneer in holistic self-care and sexual wellbeing with 20 years of experience in the industry. She works as Satisfyer's director of education and is a certified sexologist and practitioner of Rapid Transformational Therapy. 

How do I get my libido back after menopause? 

1. Reduce stress

There's no doubt about it, libido is tied in with our mental wellbeing just as much as our physical wellbeing. When we feel relaxed and satisfied generally in life, we're much more likely to open ourselves up to affection from a partner and intimate experiences. 

"Stresses in daily life are often the key reasons for a reduction in libido," notes Dr Unsworth. While she also says that "no amount of medical or herbal treatment is going to improve that", there are small changes you can make to your daily lifestyle to learn how to reduce stress and avoid burnout.

2. Change up your lifestyle

While exercise won't be the cure-all to low libido in menopause, research from Shahid Beheshti University of Medical Sciences suggests it can certainly help by improving circulation, increasing energy, limiting weight gain, and limiting the severity of mood swings for some people. 

Not only that, but many find that menopause affects their confidence. Taking up a new sport or really investing in one you do already can help boost this thanks to those precious endorphins, changes to how your body looks, time spent outdoors, and interaction with other like-minded people boosting your social batteries. 

If you're new to exercise, try going for a walk 30 minutes a day. You can progress this into longer sessions or try a more intensive version, such as power walking or running every day. 

3. Take a look at your relationship

Low libido can be an effect of hormone changes and lifestyle factors but it's also worth looking at your relationship, especially if you're in a long-term partnership and struggling with low libido. 

It's something that White says is a common issue for couples. "Communication issues and relationship dynamics can also play a role. Sometimes being in a long-term partnership can lead to complacency, which can ultimately impact sexual motivation. It's important to understand that these experiences are relatable and can affect many women."

In this case, the best thing to do would be to talk to your partner. "It's crucial to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and any challenges that you might be facing," says White. 

4. Talk to your doctor

If you're dealing with low libido in menopause, want to change things, but are struggling to know what to do next, speak to your doctor. As with all symptoms of menopause, your doctor will be able to advise further on the best course of action for you. 

Some hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) options have been shown to work for boosting libido during menopause. "Having adequate and stable levels of oestrogen will help resolve many symptoms which can have a knock-on effect on improving overall wellbeing and libido," Dr Unsworth says. "It can also have a direct effect on improving your sex drive and improving the health and sensitivity of vaginal or vulval tissues."

Testosterone, another hormone doctors may prescribe, may also be beneficial. "This is usually most effective when used alongside oestrogen. It's most apparent in the postmenopausal time, in those who experience an early menopause or in those who undergo a surgical menopause," she says.

While HRT won't be for everyone, the doctor urges caution around so-called "natural remedies" without proper testing. "Most of the natural remedies marketed for improved libido have very little evidence to support their use," she warns.

5. Find other ways to be intimate with your partner

While it's entirely down to personal circumstances and dynamics, physical connection in this way isn't the be-all-and-end-all of relationship satisfaction and there are other ways to physically connect that don't involve classic ideas around penetrative sex, says White.  

"Alternatives can range from cuddling and skin-to-skin contact to sensual massages and outercourse," she says. For more ideas, take a look at our guide on how to intimate without sex. 

As with other relationship issues, the key to making this work will be open communication with your partner. "By exploring and embracing different forms of intimacy, we can create a fulfilling and satisfying sexual connection that caters to both partners' needs and desires," says White. 

6. Reduce the chance of painful sex

You may also decide you want to continue having sex during menopause. For those who want to, the main piece of advice the experts have is to make sure that sex isn't painful. 

As noted, the drop in hormones during menopause impacts tissue around the body - including vaginal tissue - causing skin to become dry and increasing the chance of tears. "Make sure to use lubricant or vaginal oestrogen treatment to keep things as comfortable as possible, but also address any potential psychological issues that might be affecting things," says Dr Unsworth.

Does HRT bring back libido? 

As Dr Unsworth says, HRT can stabilise levels of hormones like oestrogen, which will help to lessen the impact of many menopause symptoms that make sex - either the act or the idea of it - uncomfortable. However, it may not be a singular fix for boosting low libido in menopause.

The doctor does note that, particularly when it comes to vaginal tissue, "the use of topical vaginal oestrogen can be especially beneficial."