“I ignored the warning signs of burnout – and ended up in emergency surgery. Here's why I never want to be compared to Superwoman again”

“Strolling the streets for a mental health walk during July 2020, I started experiencing excruciating pain in my legs. Barely able to move, I took myself to A&E, where an MRI scan revealed two of the lower discs in my back had disintegrated,” says Lynn Blades, 64.

“I thought back to the lower back pain I’d been experiencing a few years prior. My doctor had told me to have some physical therapy sessions, but I’d ignored him as life was too busy.

“Things were moving fast. My daughter, Sabrina, was getting ready to start her Master’s degree and I was running a successful coaching business. In between my career, being a mum and everything else that adulthood throws at you, I just didn’t have time to attend the sessions for my back.

“‘You should slow down,’ my husband, Damian, told me, multiple times. But I thought I was Superwoman, constantly juggling things and ticking off my never-ending to-do list.

“The crushed discs were a wake-up call. I was physically and mentally exhausted – and I’d ignored every sign of burnout.

“To fix my back, I needed emergency surgery, where a titanium cage and three screws were put in to hold my spine in place. As I recovered from the operation, I reflected on how I’d gotten to this place – I should never have pushed myself this far. I’d allowed myself to be drained and overlooked my self-care.

“This was the warning that I needed – I knew I had to make changes.”

Putting myself first

“After the operation, I continued working online to distract myself from the severe pain that I was going through. But as that eased off, I looked at my life and where I had gone wrong. As women, even from little girls, we’re conditioned to nurture, give and push through the pain.

“Why was I prioritising everyone else above myself? It was inevitable that by not looking after myself, no one was going to get the best version of me, and now it had led to me going through a major medical issue.

“Knowing I had to make serious changes to recover, I started mapping out my diary, dumping energy drainers, whether that was people or commitments. I reassessed what was important to me. I decided to stop multitasking and let go of things, delegating them to other people – both in my personal and professional life.

“I realised that I couldn’t control everything and that it was okay if things didn’t happen, life would still go on regardless.

“After assessing and changing my own life, I knew I wanted to do something to help other women. I saw my female clients suffering from burnout and it made me angry. We’re trained by society to put our needs last, but it’s not a healthy or productive way to live.”

Sharing my perspective

“I decided to pen a book, The Quiet Burn, encouraging women to stop and relook at how we value ourselves.

“In the book, I discuss the main warning signs of burnout, highlighting them to make sure that women pay attention and take them seriously. We all need to listen to our bodies.

“I explain how we need to shift our thinking and stop taking everything on. Don’t get me wrong, I know that life can be busy and sometimes we have to push through with things, but we don’t need to make this the norm.”

My advice? Learn the power of no

“We shouldn’t let people push our boundaries. ‘No’ is a beautiful word and it’s one that we should be using more often.

“Next time someone asks you to do something, I want you to take a beat and ask yourself, 'how is this a gain for me?' We need to rewire our brains and assess something before we take it on. Usually, our instinct will tell us if it’s something we want to do or are capable of taking on – I implore everyone to really take notice of that and stop resisting it.

“Nowadays, my life is less hectic and I’m more selective with what I say yes to. While I know this is also a privileged place to be in, I believe that we can all take a good look and make some tweaks to ensure we’re prioritising ourselves.

“I’ve passed this knowledge onto my own daughter, reminding her that you should be the best that you can be, but don’t kill yourself in the process. I’m a big believer in what’s meant to be, will be.

“Even though I’ve reframed things, I still have to check myself regularly and make sure that I’m not pushing myself or taking on too much.

“Women are the foundation of everything and if we continue working ourselves to the bone, the whole world will suffer. I learnt the hard way, but I hope my story can inspire others to really stop and think about the many plates they’re spinning.

“Burnout is real and it’s time we start putting ourselves first. I never want to be compared to Superwoman again.”