Lesley Manville speaks candidly on her devastating split from Gary Oldman months after giving birth - 'The rug was severely pulled from under my feet'
Lesley has opened up about the heartbreak she felt when she was left by her then-husband in 1990 - and how she rebuilt her life
Lesley Manville has spoken out bravely about the devastation she felt when Gary Oldman left her just after she'd given birth, and how it shaped her motherhood journey.
From her role as Princess Margaret in The Crown, to Mrs Harris Goes To Paris, Lesley Manville is the acting gift that keeps on giving. Let's not forget her inimitable role as Cathy in Mum, and her current triumphant run in BBC One Magpie Murders sequel, Moonflower Murders. Lesley is also a huge fashion icon, proving you're never too old to inspire legendary looks in all generations.
Lesley has also experienced some difficulties in her personal life, including two divorces and witnessing her sister suffer terrible family tragedy. It was her first divorce from actor Gary Oldman. that Lesley credits with spurring her on to succeed in her career, as well as be the best mother she could be in the face of huge upheaval.
Lesley met Oldman in 1984, and the couple married three years later. Speaking about meeting the Slow Horses actor on Desert Island Discs, Lesley told host Lauren Laverne, "We were having the most amazing time together and we loved each other. We got married. I got pregnant on my honeymoon. We were having the best time, but then the rug was very severely pulled from under my feet..."
Oldman walked out on Lesley and their newborn son, Alfie, in 1990, just three months after she'd given birth. He then went on to marry actress Uma Thurman, who was 18-years-old at the time. A devastated Lesley was initially too worried to tell her parents Oldman had left, deciding to keep the news a secret in the hope everything would work out.
"It was quite convenient that Gary was going to the States anyway to do a film so they knew that he was away," she recalls, adding, I just thought, 'Oh well I won't tell them because maybe in a few months it'll all be alright.' But it was a tremendously lonely time."
However, when faced with the departure of her husband and a newborn baby to care for, Lesley came to realise she could make the best of a terrible situation and continue to be a successful actress while being the best mother to Alfie. The actress said, "I wasn't going to fall apart. I didn't fall apart. There was absolutely no question about it for me that I was going to carry on working and I was going to be the most brilliant mother."
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She added, "Somehow I did it, it made me incredibly disciplined about my work. Until he was three I only did plays which was quite good because I could be with him all day and then someone would come at 5.30 and I'd go and do a light play like Miss Julie!"
It's said the pair managed to stay friends, despite the split. Reflecting on the outcome and moving forward with her life, Lesley concludes, "I thought we'd be together forever and have a big family. But maybe if that had happened, maybe I wouldn't have the career I have now. I think I'd have given up a lot for a good long marriage, but the price would have been something - I don't know what."
Not the only heartache Lesley has suffered in her life, her sister, Brenda went through the devastating ordeal of losing her family to Huntington's disease. Brenda's husband was unaware he carried the genetic illness, unwittingly passing it to their two daughters. Devastatingly, Brenda's husband died from the illness, as did her daughters when they reached adulthood.
In an even more tragic turn of events, Brenda later passed away from a brain tumour. Lesley recounts how brave her sister was in the face of such devastation, saying, "For all of that tragedy in her life she never put it upon you. She'd never make me feel guilty that I had a healthy, robust child. She would celebrate Alfie, celebrate my life."
Lucy is a multi-award nominated writer and blogger with seven years’ experience writing about entertainment, parenting and family life. Lucy worked as a freelance writer and journalist at the likes of PS and moms.com, before joining GoodtoKnow as an entertainment writer, and then as news editor. The pull to return to the world of television was strong, and she was delighted to take a position at woman&home to once again watch the best shows out there, and tell you why you should watch them too.
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