Former Deal or No Deal host Noel Edmunds has spoken out about the heartbreaking moment he was driven to a suicide attempt 12 years ago, and that he even recorded devastated last messages for his family.
12 years ago, his firm, the Unique Group, collapsed, after being targeted by criminals from the bank HBOS. And it was this devastating turn of events that Noel blames for leaving him in the “darkest space”.
In a video recorded for ITV, he candidly confessed, “My world imploded. And I lost my home. I went to a very dark space.
“The only way I can describe it is it is the darkest space that the human mind ever occupies.”
And despite having his loving family around him, he admitted that nothing helped him to feel better. Noel admitted, “You see nothing. I mean I had four daughters, I had a wife, I had mates. I saw nothing in that dark space.”
He detailed how, after making the drastic decision to end his own life, he recorded his final messages for his family, including his four daughters, Charlotte, Lorna, Olivia and Alice.
“I wrote a letter to my now ex-wife explaining as best I could why I’d reached the end, and I recorded little dictaphone messages to my daughters, basically saying goodbye,” he explained.
The 68-year-old has also shared how he then walked off into the woods near his Devon home with prescription pills and vodka in hand, intent on ending his life.
Sharing why he eventually decided not to take his life, Noel has thanked and heaped praise upon local ambulance crews.
“The fact that I did not become another suicide statistic is solely due to the swift response of a Devon ambulance crew and the compassionate support of the Priory in Bristol.”
(Noel and his wife Elizabeth Davies)
Noel is now seeking £73million compensation from the bank who left him dealing with the collapse of almost his entire life.
He stated how the scandal stole his “marriage, my family, my businesses, my longstanding friend and business partner; my income, my investments, my self-respect, my reputation, my privacy, my physical and mental health.
“It cost me my security, my image rights, my collection of classic cars – and very nearly my life.”
But despite the desperation, his emotional suffering seems to have offered some perspective on people who have also suffered from suicidal thoughts, and how and why they may have been driven to that dark space.
Noel confessed, “Until these criminals took me to the brink of emotional annihilation, I had always felt those who opt out by taking their own lives were selfish and cowardly.
“But having been cast into that bottomless dark space devoid of logic and reason, I have a much deeper understanding of life without hope.”
Sadly, Noel was to face yet another hurdle in 2013, when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And the TV presenter is certain his ill-fortune in business and the rippling reprecussions affected his bad health.
He previously admitted to the Mail on Sunday “I am absolutely sure the negative forces acting on me impacted on my health,
“There is a wealth of information from various clinical studies of a direct link between stress and cancer. I am absolutely certain there was a link in my case.
“I don’t say cancer was caused by the stress, but that my health deteriorated to such an extent I got prostate cancer.”
Noel was given the all clear from his cancer in 2016, and he largely puts his recovery down to positive thinking and ‘electro-mangetism’.
And said on This Morning, “You either focus on living your life or you decide you are going to resign yourself to death.
“I am saying that by using pulse electro-magnetism and other things, I am now free of prostate cancer.”