It takes a lot of time and money to create your perfect beauty routine. I’m betting that, over the course of decades, you’ve narrowed down a handful of hero products that you wouldn’t be without. But what if - horror of horrors - they suddenly changed that formula? It's been happening a lot this year.

I’m well-acquainted with the cult buys that people are evangelical about. The best night creams that transform your skin while you sleep, or the long-lasting waterproof foundations you rely on for special occasions. I hear about product launches months in advance, and this year I’ve noticed that so many beauty icons have been reformulated.

I’m passionately devoted to my favourite products (if anyone altered La Roche Posay Cicaplast, I’d riot), and I don’t like change, so I delved into these so-called new-and-improved formulas with a raised eyebrow and a near constant shaking of the head. What would possess a brand to take a risk on changing its bestselling products? Let’s find out together.

Why reformulations are the biggest beauty trend of 2026

After weeks of whinging to my colleagues and questioning the motives of these brands, I decided to actually speak to a professional. Not a therapist (although that might be an idea), but Abi Cleeve, a skin expert and owner of SkinSense, Ultrasun and SBC Skincare. Formulation is a huge part of Abi’s expertise, so I hoped she could share some insight into this phenomenon.

Why do brands choose to reformulate?

One word, “Innovation,” says Abi. "There are now better, more sophisticated ingredients available that could genuinely enhance what's already loved,” she says. It’s what’s been repeated in all the press releases of these reformulations. They claim that the exciting new formulas now contain better ingredients that will work 10 times better, and faster, while improving your skin/hair/body.

Ok, yes, fine. If a product is working perfectly well for millions of consumers, though, isn’t it a huge gamble to mess with it? “For me, the deciding factor is always whether innovation has moved on,” says Abi. “Are there better, more sophisticated ingredients available now that would enhance the formula people already love? If the answer is yes, and those ingredients serve the original purpose of the product more effectively, then reformulation isn't really a risk, it's a responsibility to your customer.”

It’s hard to argue with that logic. If, as a brand, you feel your formulas are lagging behind, it makes sense to update them. Still, it feels like a risk. “It's a real balancing act,” admits Abi. “When your customers have connected with a formula, you have to weigh up the ‘if it ain't broke, don't fix it’ instinct against the possibility that you're bringing something truly valuable to them. As a customer, when you find something that genuinely works for you, the thought of having to start that search all over again is genuinely worrying. Brands need to understand that loyalty like that is hard-won, and any change has to honour it.”

2026’s riskiest reformulations - that paid off

Reformulation in beauty heroes - our verdict

It seems I’m guilty of being stubborn and stuck in the past. I’m in my thirties, and here I am, shaking my fist at the sky, exclaiming that things were better back in the good old days. I suppose it’s because I know how long it takes to track down these products - it can take years of testing to finally narrow down the best foundation for you. All that time, effort and money, and the relief when you finally find ‘the one’, only for a brand to, recklessly, (in my opinion), change it. No wonder all those people on the Estee Lauder website were fuming.

Having tried a few of these revamped formulas, though, I can see why the decision has been made. These brands want their products to be brought up to date and to perform better, and you have to assume they've weighed up the risk before potentially angering millions of loyal customers.

I just wish they would give us some warning. Give us a chance to stockpile and to mourn what we're about to lose. I'm already slightly prone to hoarding, so I don't really have the space in my flat for 40 La Roche Posay Cicaplasts, Kate Somerville Goat Milk Cleansers and Color Wow Dreaming Hair Treatment. Maybe it's time for a storage unit.

There's a lot to be said for finding your signature look and sticking with it. Wouldn't you be disappointed if Claudia Winkleman stopped self-tanning or Brian May got a buzzcut?

My 'thing' is black winged eyeliner. Not every day, but definitely for every night out. It was initially inspired by the late, great Amy Winehouse when a bout of university heartbreak overlapped with the release of Back to Black (heaven) Decades later, my feline flick's still here and is the only way I feel truly done and - real talk - hot for parties.

So what's the issue? There isn't one, really. Anyone who says black liner is too harsh for 40+ eyes should refer to the immaculate Dita Von Teese or Angelina 'smokeshow' Jolie. I am, however, a believer in continuous reassessment. Standing back halfway through trimming the hedge and thinking, "does this still look good?" Plus, it is a requirement of my job to not stick with the same old makeup, so I gave something else a whirl.

Why this transfer-proof liner is my beauty buy of the week

Essentially, I had a holiday fling with Stila Stay All Day Inkwear because packing a shimmery bronze liner, instead of my usual dead flat black, simply felt correct for two weeks in Thailand.

Yes, I swapped my signature black liquid liner for... bronze liquid eyeliner. Feel free to eye roll. But as anyone with a decades-long dependance on a very specific look will understand, this did feel like a brave departure.

Some tips: Ensure the brush is really well loaded for non-draggy application. Be brave - more is more for smooth lines. You have to let it dry properly, especially if you have hooded eyes like me, so tilt your chin up for a good few minutes. But once it's on, it is on. So very on, in fact, that if transferring isn't usually a problem for you, this might be a bit too tattoo-like to be the best eyeliner for you.

But, if you are smudge-prone and dream of a flattering, spicy-looking eyeliner that reliably stays where you put it, this is it. And an oil-based makeup remover will take care of business when you want it off. Although, should you fall into bed without removing it (ahem), you will wake up with still-perfect, showerproof feline flicks already in situ, so you can do what you like with that information. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday.

As a beauty team, there are some things we can always agree on. The importance of wearing the best facial sunscreen every day, how the best mascaras are also the cheapest, and which are the top-tier biscuits in M&S (ideally the bakery cookies, but we'll also accept the shortbread).

There are some things, though, that we have wildly differing opinions on. Double cleansing, the K18 VS Olaplex debate, and how often to use a hair mask. Debates happen daily across our beauty desk, and we thought we’d finally get to the bottom of some of our most heated clashes.

This time, it’s beauty writer Annie Milroy and senior beauty editor Rhiannon Derbyshire’s take on the best lip balm practice. May the best, most correct woman win.

woman&home's big beauty debate takes on lip balm

There was definitely a time when I was quite reliant on lip balm, but I managed to wean myself off it. I apply it on average about twice a week, probably closer to four or five in the winter. Not to put my tinfoil hat on this early in the debate, but I do think there’s something in the more you apply it, the more your lips get used to it, and you need to keep reapplying it - it's a textbook dry lips mistake! Annie and I spend a lot of time together, and when you’ve worked together for as long as we have, your relationship becomes a bit…sibling-like. I noticed she applies lip balm almost constantly, at least once an hour. She’s definitely addicted to lip balm, and I think she needs to break the habit - her lips can’t be that dry!

Hello, my name is Annie Milroy, and I have an addiction. I’m not certain when it began, but without really realising, I’ve become obsessive about applying various lip products throughout the day. The only reason I’ve realised I have such a problem is because my ex-friend, Rhiannon, shamed me after watching me apply it from across the desk excessively. Now, they say the first step is denial, and thankfully, I’ve passed this stage and am onto acceptance. I am who I am, and, apparently, that’s someone with no self-control but with lovely, hydrated lips. But are they? Surely if I feel the need to keep applying, then my lips can’t actually be hydrated? I'm ready to be humbled.

The big debate

RD - I feel bad about shaming you for your lip balm addiction. I think the reason I noticed you apply it so much is that you had that little Clarins lip oil, and it made a little pop sound every time you opened it. Then I noticed the pop was happening more and more.

AM - That’s actually very funny. I didn’t realise you were alerted every time I applied it. Those pops are loud, too! Now I think about it, I start the day with lip balm and then when I get to the office, I treat myself to a lip oil. I like to mix it up.

RD - I actually think lip oils are worse than lip balms. Sorry to double shame you.

AM - Yes, I think you’re correct. All my problems started when I started using the lip oils. They felt so lovely on my lips, and they smell really nice. Also, I really love the pop sound they make. I know that sound genuinely triggers you now.

RD - Like a cork - pop. In the last few months, the best lip oils have really boomed, though - so I understand why. We've been surrounded by them - all in really pretty packaging and glossy colours - like little shiny sweets. So tempting. Even I was swayed before I saw my senses and went back to my best red lipsticks.

AM - Do you remember when you made me empty my handbag to see how many lip balms I had in there? THE SHAME.

RD - How many was it again?

AM- Honestly, about seven. Oils, balms, tints, masks. The lot. Nobody has dry lips on my watch.

RD - Except…you do. You’re still PARCHED.

AM - Yes. I’ll say it again for the people at the back. My lips are still dry. I need help!

RD - How long do you think you can go without a balm or an oil? PS - I really do think you should go cold turkey on oils. I’ll allow a balm, but oils are your downfall. They don’t actually hydrate!

AM - Since you outed me to everyone and now the internet. I have cut back. I would say I can do about four or five times a day. And that is me really trying. Don’t worry - I’ve quit the lip oils. I think they were the root of my issues. Well, not all my issues...Not to make this a big old deflection, but surely you need to apply lip balm more than every Christmas, Rhiannon? Beauty Director Sarah applies every day. She even wears lipstick before bed if she can’t find her lip balm! I can’t be the only mad one here…

RD - I'm willing to admit that I’ve potentially gone too far the other way. As I said, I was previously a big balmer, and I got over it, and now I’m smugly on the other side. I also wear red lipstick every single day - maybe some of those have a hint of hydration, so that helps me from drying out like an old husk.

AM - I think we might be two extreme ends of the lip hydration spectrum here. I think we might need to check with the experts.

What do the experts say?

Abi Cleeve is a skin expert and formulates products for her brands SkinSense and Ultrasun. “Consistent lip balm application really matters,” she says. "Morning and night are a great baseline, and throughout the day, apply as you need it. If you're outside or in an air-conditioned or heated environment, you'll want to top up more frequently. Listen to your lips - if they feel tight, dry or uncomfortable, that's your cue.”

Does this then mean that Rhiannon is depriving her lips of essential hydration? “Not necessarily,” explains Abi. “If your lips are naturally well-hydrated and you're not exposing them to harsh conditions, you may not need a strict lip care routine.”

Can you become reliant on the hydration, or is it a myth? “The idea that lip balm makes your lips ‘lazy’ stems from products that use ingredients like menthol or camphor, which cause a mild irritation that makes lips feel like they need more product,” according to Abi. “Choose a formula with genuinely nourishing ingredients, like peptides, hyaluronic acid, squalane, and shea butter. That said, if you find yourself reapplying compulsively and your lips are still dry, it's worth looking at what's in your product rather than blaming the habit.”

Abi also shares that lip oils can sometimes be dehydrating, depending on the formula you pick. “Some are primarily about aesthetics - they give a glossy, plumped look and feel lovely, but don't contain the actives needed to make a difference,” she warns. “A genuinely therapeutic lip oil, though, can absolutely help to heal and repair. Active ingredients like squalane, peptide complexes and plant-based oils can strengthen the skin barrier and reduce water loss.”

The final verdict

RD - I was expecting to win this, but I actually think you’re in the right here, Annie. As long as you don't slip into 15+ per day applications again. I formally apologise, in front of all the witnesses of the internet. I do wonder, though, if your lips are still dry even through all your balming, that maybe you need to change to a more nourishing balm?

AM- Winning feels really nice. But I agree - I think it comes down to ingredients rather than formula. Lip balms and oils can be good for your lips, but take a look at the ingredients list to make sure there are some nourishing ingredients in there. I promise to stop popping in the office, regardless.

RD - Yes, please.

According to a recent survey by campaigners Age Without Limits, the Great British public thinks that 56 is too old to be wearing the latest fashions.

Astonishingly, the findings also revealed that, after polling 4000 people, one in ten considers 40 to be the cut-off point when it comes to pulling off the most up-to-date trends.

Understandably, this news has been met with disbelief among women of a certain age who enjoy keeping up with current styles. Myself included.

The Loose Women panel recently discussed it, with Judi Love saying: "Whoever wrote that can go and sit down because I've just started" and Myleene Klass adding "this is when you find your stride and get your confidence... no one's surveying what the guys are doing."

The survey may appear flippant, but it highlights the prevalence of ageism in the UK. Dr Carole Easton OBE, Chief Executive at the Centre for Ageing Better, said: "This year the campaign focuses on the absurdity of everyday ageism, highlighting how the persistent acceptance of negative attitudes towards ageing has the potential to limit all our lives as we get older. "

I've always championed the idea that style has no age barrier. If wearing the latest trends makes you happy, then go for it. Clothes are an expression of our personality, and women often feel more confident to experiment as they get older. With less pressure coming from having a young family and a busy career, I've found I've got more time to focus on myself, and I enjoy keeping my wardrobe up-to-date.

As I have gone through life, my style has naturally evolved and adapted, mainly due to my body changing shape and a fluctuating budget. One thing that has remained constant is my passion for keeping up with the latest trends. I've worked as a fashion editor for almost 30 years, so it's always been an essential part of my job.

In the last ten years, I've seen a positive increase in fabulous fashion brands that cater for women over 50. M&S recently revealed their latest campaign with actor Gillian Anderson, 57, and online retailer JD Williams joined forces with Carol Vorderman, 65, to redefine the term 'MILF'.

There is a choice if you want it. Not surprisingly, the survey revealed that, as women, we can be our own worst enemy, often imposing self-inflicted prejudices about things we can and can't wear.

On a more positive note, around one in three people (32%) think there is no specific age when women stop looking good in the latest fashion trends. Hurray! Let's celebrate this good news and remember - it's never too late to find your personal style, and if you want to be a fashionista at 55+, go ahead and join me. Here's how I'm styling this season's latest looks

Staying on-trend at 55+

Here are the key fashion trends to watch out for this spring, with some hints and tips on how to wear them...

How do you feel about wearing the latest fashion trends? Maybe you prefer a more classic approach to dressing and agree with the results of the survey. Whatever your thoughts are on 'dressing appropriately', I think we can all agree with Dr Carole Easton when she says "Ageism limits work, health, relationships, ambition and confidence—and ultimately whose lives are seen as worth investing in. Ridding society of ageism would have such a transformative impact on so many lives.”

As our clothes are a representation of ourselves and a great way of expressing how we feel on any given day, limiting our wardrobe by age seems like madness. Whether you go full hog and embrace the spring/summer fashion trends for 2026 fully, or just like to keep abreast of changing tastes and want to inject a little aspect of it, such as updating your denim to barrel leg jeans, how far you take your personal style is up to you, but most importantly, you should feel happy and confident in your outfits.

Earlier today, I was minding my own business, scrolling through Instagram on a bus, when a headline stopped me in my tracks.

The 'granny bob' is the cool-girl haircut trend to wear this spring, it proclaimed. I had to resist the urge to start muttering out loud.

I turn 50 this year. I’ve been a lifestyle journalist for decades. And I’ve had quite enough of the word 'granny' being used as lazy shorthand for anything associated with older women. It's just a bob, for the love of Ada.

It's time to retire the 'granny chic' narrative

Here we are in 2026, and an industry that prides itself on inclusivity is still casually repackaging female maturity, slapping a patronising label on it, and serving it back to us as a trend.

The 'granny bob' is just the latest offender. We’ve already endured 'granny sandals' and 'granny shorts' – apparently, the looks we’re all meant to be embracing this summer. I, for one, am over it.

We’re told the so-called granny bob is chic, timeless, flattering – a short cut that works across hair types and taps neatly into the current nostalgia wave. Fine. So why not call it exactly that? Why attach 'granny' to it at all?

Is it because it’s short? Are we still clinging to the tired idea that women of a certain age should cut their hair? Is it shorthand for 'low maintenance' – and, by extension, a suggestion that older women don’t bother with their appearance? Or is it simply a clumsy nod to the fact that this style has been around for decades?

In one article I read, the cut was recommended for those struggling with thinning hair – a thinly (excuse the pun) veiled reference to ageing. Is that it? Is 'granny' code for old, fading, less?

When we tack 'granny' onto a look, we’re not describing the style – we’re categorising the women who wear it. It’s reductive and outdated. But it’s also lazy and harmful, because language shapes perception. Calling something a 'granny bob' reinforces the tired narrative that women become less relevant, less stylish, and less worthy of attention as they age.

For the record, I have a version of this haircut. I’m 49. I’m not a grandmother. I didn’t choose it to disguise thinning hair or soften the blow of ageing. I first had it when I turned 19, after a brilliant hairdresser convinced me to chop my long blonde locks into a 'Mia Farrow' – the famous pixie cut she gave herself at 21, before her 1966 Vogue debut. There was nothing 'granny' about it then, and there isn’t now.

There’s also an implicit assumption baked into this nonsense: that age makes women less adventurous, less fashion-forward, more 'safe.' Ask most women over 40, and they’ll tell you they’ve never felt more confident in their choices. Not because they’re retreating into frumpiness, but because they finally know what they like – and they wear it unapologetically.

It's interesting, too, that when younger women adopt a classic look, we call it timeless. Iconic. Cool-girl. Yet when a style associated with older women comes back into fashion, we reach straight for the 'granny' label. That’s not playful. It’s ageism – shorthand for a value system that still celebrates and venerates youth while dismissing and mocking age.

By all means, celebrate flattering, versatile, low-effort fashion and beauty. But stop attaching a label that diminishes the very women who’ve been wearing those styles for years.

Women of all ages deserve better than that.

I'm a great believer that, when it comes to creative endeavours, weird is good.

It doesn't matter if we're talking about a distinctive long lasting perfume, a film that leaves you with more questions than answers, or an album that goes down unexpected sonic avenues. All the most exciting stuff gets made when creators welcome in the strange, rather than chasing trends or trying to please everyone.

In fragrance, Editions de Parfums Frédéric Malle is a shining example of how artistic freedom leads to magical outcomes. The brand's latest scent is unusual, beautiful, and has gotten right under my skin.

Why this strange and beautiful perfume is my beauty buy of the week

Important background: Frédéric Malle launched Editions to counteract the perfume industry's slide towards populist, design-by-committee scents.

Malle wanted to bring back a bit of je ne sais quoi. So, he tapped up master perfumers and gave them carte blanche. As much time as they needed, ingredients at any cost, no interference. Experimentation was encouraged, and the name of the 'nose' was billed as prominently on the bottle as the name of the fragrance.

The resulting scents were brilliant, distinctive, and several were big commercial hits, in particular Dominique Ropion's Carnal Flower and Portrait of a Lady (one of my all-time favourites, incidentally).

The latest, Contre-Jour by Annick Ménardo, is described as being 'built against conventional patterns,' and after one sniff, I get it.

I won't claim this is for everyone and every occasion, but those who love it will love it so much, and that's the point. Singular and distinctive beats crowd pleaser - as I said, weird is good.

Speaking of which, a few other strange and brilliant things, from my current orbit to yours: Small Prophets on BBC iPlayer, James Blake Trying Times in your headphones, and - best till last - vinegary white boquerone anchovies layered on salty, oily Spanish crisps. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday

Whether it’s due to binge-watching the latest fashion TV or the fact I’ve consciously uncoupled myself from the trademark blazer, this spring, the 50s-inspired jacket is The One.

Its cropped silhouette looks good with baggy jeans and wide-leg trousers. And a decorative style instantly chirps 'spring'.

Drag your spring capsule wardrobe out of hibernation by choosing a beautiful floral print, metallic fabric or burst of colour. I love the juxtaposition of an elegant jacket with faded denim, and simple neutrals always provide a great backdrop for an abstract pattern.

Shop standout jackets

For a timeless option, team the jacket with capri pants and ballet pumps or a swishy skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Add a striped t-shirt and rhinestone or studded flats to offset any primness. After several seasons, I’m over oversized dressing and, this spring, a neater, more glamorous ensemble feels as fresh as it did the first time around.

Tips for making a statement

1. Keep the silhouette simple

Opt for a sleek silhouette and let the statement pattern do the talking. A three-quarter-length sleeve or a ruffled cuff is fine, but avoid anything too fussy or flamboyant. Remember, at this time of year, there’s a good chance you might be wearing your jacket underneath a raincoat.

2. Mix and match

For those who prefer the pared-down look, this is an easy way to introduce a low-key print. Pick a colour from the patterned jacket fabric (one of the less obvious elements always works well) and pair it with a knitted tank top to pull things together.

Some sentences are impossible to write without sounding like a brag, so here goes: I recently returned from a 10-day holiday in Thailand.

Well, ok, there's a bit of braggery in there - but this is also relevant information. For balance, here's a less envy-inducing fact: I have fair-going-on-blue skin that hates to see the sun coming.

For this reason, I'm very careful about UV exposure, and my best fake tan for pale skin is as crucial a suitcase inclusion as a juicy beach read and the plug adaptor I invariably forget. The self-tanner, however, did make it to Southeast Asia (priorities!), and this trip's product of choice was a real overachiever.

Why this easy, subtle gradual tanner is my beauty buy of the week

I'm aware that 'the best self tan for my Thai holiday' isn't the most relatable angle. But this recommendation translates perfectly to this time of year at home, too.

Just as the sea is at its very coldest, not in deepest midwinter, but right at the end, I think our skin hits peak grey as we cross from late winter to early spring. And this excellent body-hydrator-meets-gradual-tan is just the thing for a warmth injection to a sad complexion.

Said hydration and bronzing work in tandem to pull your skin out of the grey, scaly season and toward sun and softness. This is a nice confidence boost, whether you're going away or just feeling utterly sick of your big coat and ready to flash an ankle, wrist, or even - woof! - a clavicle.

So what if the weather's not quite caught up with our springtime ambitions (did someone say snow in Scotland?) Gardeners' World is back on the telly, and I, for one, am leading with hope and optimism - and have the sunny glow to prove it. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday.

Hello and happy International Women's Day to all who observe it. Which I suppose should be everyone, really, and yes, Gordon, there is an International Men's Day, it's on November 19th.

Covering IWD in my job feels like a hot potato. Despite my bones-deep belief that not all beauty discourse is inherently patriarchal, I'm also not blind to the underlying reasons we're all questing for smooth skin, thick hair, and long lashes in the name of 'inner' confidence.

So what's a moderate fourth (or fifth?) wave feminist who also enjoys beauty products to do? Feel a bit conflicted as ever, and try to serve you something woman-founded and unsuperficial.

Why this brain fog-busting aromatic oil is my buy of the week

If we're getting into products that help you, not look a certain way, but feel something instead, then we're probably talking about fragrance.

The bit of the brain that deals with smell is the same part that deals with emotions and memories. That's why the best perfumes can be so evocative, and the best-smelling body lotions are the ones that remind us of sun cream, cakes, and fancy spa hotels.

And so it was with a bodily car crash of my toddler's second-hand nursery bug and lingering jet lag (ten days in Thailand, can't complain) that I spied Neuroscents Wellbeing Set in my post-holiday post pile. This collection contains six oils designed to trigger emotional responses, from sleep-inducing to destressing.

Sluggish and, well, snotty, I reached for the Focus Blend, dropped it on a tissue, and took as big an inhalation as my stuffy sinuses would allow...

If you think aromatherapy is a bit 'woo-woo', Neuroscent founder Olga Melita wants to change that. An analytic practitioner with extensive training in psychology, psychotherapy, and a whole host of body-oriented therapies, Melita started introducing essential oils during sessions with clients and found it was a "game changer."

My knee-jerk stance on alternative therapies errs towards skepticism, but I'm sold on the power of aromatics like this. They also force you to stop for a second and breathe deeply, which, at the risk of patronising every woman reading this on IWD itself, I must stress is a helpful thing. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday.

I’m a denim lover with a substantial collection of jeans to prove it. My hangers are replete with an array of silhouettes from straight to barrel leg, boot-cut to flared – in shades of indigo, midnight, black, grey, ecru and white. After the athleisure years and the elasticated waistbands of the pandemic, a more structured silhouette has returned and denim is back in business (but in my mind, this perennially popular fabric never went out of style).

Even Gap is making a comeback with designer Zac Posen’s range of elevated basics – modelled in a sell-out campaign by Gwyneth Paltrow and her daughter Apple Martin – and the opening of three bricks-and-mortar stores in London.

In terms of versatility and timelessness, straight leg is the optimum silhouette. I have a couple of pairs of jeans that are over 30 years old and still going strong. The easy-to-wear shape goes with a variety of outerwear – bombers, blousons and overcoats – and is a clear-cut winner when it comes to dressing up. On the red carpet at last year’s Venice Film Festival, Julia Roberts swapped her glamorous evening gown for Versace dark denim, classic jeans, worn with a striped shirt, navy blazer and black, heeled pumps. Proving you can’t go wrong with straight-leg jeans.

How to wear white jeans in winter according to Alyson Walsh

But white in winter, now you’re talking. Guaranteed sartorial success. One of my go-to combinations is a white jeans outfit, a pair with a classic navy pea coat, chunky knit and ankle boots. OK, there’s a risk involved: spilt coffee, melted chocolate and mud splashes. But I’ve been there, accepted the consequences and moved on. At the end of the day, it’s a pair of jeans – swipe them with stain remover and throw them in the wash.

Expert tips for classic chic

You can count on cotton

I always look for white jeans with a streamlined, non-clingy fit. Often this means 100% cotton or a high cotton-count and less stretch. Added bonus: the thicker, more durable fabric ensures that pocket linings and underwear aren’t visible. Levi’s sells 501s with no stretch and the Ribcage Straight Ankle design is 99% cotton. Toast has ecru wide-leg jeans in regenerative cotton, while both Whistles’ barrel-leg style and Arket’s Snow Straight jeans are 100% cotton.

Choose your shoes

Straight-leg jeans look neat turned up with both Chelsea and chic hiking boots, and are elegant with low-heeled black leather or camel suede. For a preppy spin, I team rolled-up jeans with loafers and matching socks – try Penelope Chilvers Friesian Pony loafers and chocolate-brown socks. Alternatively, relax in a pair of retro trainers, such as Nike Cortez, Adidas SL72 or Alohas 490 Rife sneakers.

White denim goes with everything and doesn’t demand a great deal of styling up. As well as breaking up darker neutrals, it adds elegance to caramel and coffee-coloured separates, and beautifully offsets flecked tweed and sumptuous suede. This no-nonsense staple looks perennially chic, reduces the stress from getting dressed and offers more draught-proofing in winter than barrel legs and flares. White jeans, why not?

Alyson wears: coat (last year’s), albaray.co.uk, for similar try Barbour or Wyse London; jumper, from a selection, navygrey.co; Levi’s 501s, Alyson’s own; boots, £425, rmwilliams.com

Where there are three people involved in any relationship, the danger is that someone is left out, and feels abandoned or criticised.

That is what's happening in this Ask Anna column. A reader wanted my advice after she could tell her daughter was getting upset by the comments her father – the reader's ex-husband – and his wife were making about her parenting.

I was more than happy to share some advice, rooted in psychotherapy, on this complex situation.

Navigating family dynamics

The reader said: "My daughter is in her 30s, has a supportive husband and a one-year-old son. Unfortunately, her father (my ex-husband) and his partner – her stepmother – comment negatively on her parenting skills, suggesting she’s not strict enough about routines. They live nearby, so it happens frequently.

"My daughter bites her tongue, but I can see she’s upset by these remarks, and it’s grating on me too. Should I say something?"

Blended families can be complex

Phew. When I first received your dilemma, I had to read through it a couple of times because in terms of family dynamics, there’s a lot going on here. To begin with, I thought it was a problem around parenting, then I thought it was an issue around grandparenting. Then I looked closer, and wondered if it was a question around divorce.

Then I stood back, regarded the family as a ‘constellation’ and considered if the whole thing was about the complexity of blended families. The truth is, it’s all of the above. It struck me just how many triangles there are going on within this group.

Firstly, there’s the triangle of your daughter, her husband and their little boy – a healthy and happy new family unit.

Then there’s the triangle of you, your ex-husband and your daughter. As the product of divorced parents, she’s bound to feel some sensitivity.

After that, you have the triangle of your daughter, your ex-husband and his new partner.

And finally, there’s the relationship between you, your ex-husband and his partner.

Being the Rescuer

You don’t say whether you and your ex separated amicably, or whether you get along well with his new partner, but what I do know is that all of this smacks of what psychotherapists refer to as the ‘drama triangle’. Based on Karpman’s Drama Triangle, a model of human interaction, it describes dysfunctional relationships where those involved shift between three roles – Persecutor, Victim and Rescuer – all held in place by guilt and blame.

If we apply this to your scenario, from your perspective, your ex and his partner are commenting negatively on your daughter’s parenting skills... in other words, they sit in the Persecutor position.

You tell us that your daughter is polite, but you can see that she’s upset... making her the Victim. And then you’re worried about your daughter’s distress, and wondering whether to step in. Which makes you the Rescuer.

The problem here is that if you do say something to your ex, then the roles switch – you become the Persecutor, your ex-husband becomes the Victim, and your daughter (or her partner) then steps in as the Rescuer. And so it goes round. Family drama after family drama.

As a parent, it’s your job to notice what roles you play (or are placed into), and whether it fits into this dynamic of the drama triangle. If it does, then there’s a simple way to change it: just step away from it.

When you stop the game, you stop the drama. By placing yourself in a ‘neutral’ position, you stop trying to fix the problem, cease controlling the people around you, and allow others to work it out for themselves.

Speak to your daughter first

As a mum, you’re a natural caretaker, wanting to protect your daughter if she’s hurting. No doubt there’s guilt, blame and obligation swirling around for all of you. Stepping away doesn’t mean you care less about your daughter. It means you’re empowering her.

Ask your daughter if she feels her dad’s remarks about her parenting skills are upsetting her. And if they are, encourage her to speak directly to him about it. It’s only by drawing boundaries that we all grow up and become adults – and by extension, good parents.

Anna advises our readers on relationship issues of all sorts, such as concerns over a daughter's relationship, being jealous of wealthy friends, addressing health concerns for a loved one and navigating an empty nest, with a new Ask Anna column published in woman&home magazine every month. This column is one from the archives.

If you would like help with a problem, email askanna@futurenet.com or leave a voice note at hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk and mention you’re a woman&home reader. Note that Anna may choose your dilemma to discuss on her podcast, It Can't Just Be Me.

I've always enjoyed how on-the-nose makeup categories are. Compared with the seemingly deliberate obscurity of skincare (essence water - what?), cosmetics are a real 'say what you see' genre.

You've got your lip gloss, your eye shadow, and your face powder. Simple. And while it might seem that foundation doesn't fit that linguistic mould, one additional leap of thinking can join the mental dots.

Because the best foundations are the foundation of your makeup look. The sturdy, solid bedrock that provides structure and bears the load of all the additional decorative stuff that tends to pull focus. Right, I think that's about as far as I can take that building analogy. Let's talk about a great base.

Why this long-lasting, fresh-looking foundation is my beauty buy of the week

Estee Lauder Double Wear - have you heard of it? This foundation launched just shy of 30 years ago, with eternally fabulous Liz Hurley as its face, and a simple USP of really going the distance, with a soft 'cashmere' finish.

This was unusual in the late '90s, when the best lightweight foundations were but a twinkle in formulators' eyes, and bases essentially ranged from 'matte' to 'very matte' with heavy-handed coverage.

If you've tried the OG, you'll know it nails its job at lasting the day and keeping your skin mattified and even. But, by today's hydration-seeking, radiance-chasing standards, the finish was a touch weighty for some.

I think a lot of us are drawn to foundations promising light coverage, which is fair enough - who wants something heavy all over their face? - and so modern skin tints and tinted moisturisers are justifiably popular.

But if you have pigmentation, little broken veins, skin that gets a bit hot, or red, or oily in places - any of the ordinary markers of a 40+ face - something a bit heftier like this will probably be more satisfying.

I don't wear Double Wear every single day (I don't actually wear any makeup for about half the week). But, when I want to completely trust my foundation because I've got a day in the office or a lunch with the girls, say, I wear this and it never, ever lets me down. Sounds good? Great! We won't chat next Sunday as I'm away, but let's catch up when I'm back in the spring.

I am a denim lover. Jeans have been a constant in my wardrobe ever since I was a teenager. Now in my 60s, I have numerous pairs collected over the years.

You may be wondering what are the best jeans for women over 50, the best jeans for women over 60 or the best jeans for your body type. Whatever your age, jeans are a versatile style staple. And, for me, there is something about the clothes you love and always come back to. There’s a strong sense of feeling grounded when I am wearing the right (denim) trousers.

But, like swimsuits, unless you have a trusted fit from a favourite swimsuit brand and know the exact size, there is always a bit of back and forth.

I recommend becoming a Denim Prepper. Buying several sizes online and returning unwanted pairs is less hassle than the changing room challenge. Or, go in-store and buy three pairs to try on at home. When trying on in-store, Denim Preppers are organised. Unwilling to get half-dressed to go back on to the shop floor for that elusive size, they take an armful of jeans into the changing rooms.

Shop your dream jeans

M&S is number one for women’s denim. "We sell 10 pairs every minute," says head of design Lisa Illis. "This year, our customers are buying more trend-led styles, like the carrot, barrel and horseshoe jeans. But the fastest-selling jean in 2024 was the Leopard Print Wide Leg."

My top 3 denim jeans styles

Plain or animal print, the wide leg is one of my top three choices. Excellent dressed up with a snazzy jacket or leopard print blouse and slingbacks. Or take it down a notch with a denim shirt and biker boots.

The Boyfriend (but not super baggy) style is another universally popular fit. This is why we all wore Levi’s 501s in the 1980s – and why I still wear them today.

Finally, the classic straight leg is perennially stylish. Team with a tweed jacket, cashmere sweater and tan suede boots – and wear forever.

Five tips for denim dames

1. Take care of your jeans

The advice from Levi’s is to wash your jeans every 10 wears (on a gentle cycle) to help keep their shape and ‘minimise sagging’. I honestly wash mine as little as possible. Between washes, I’ll give them an airing on the balcony – this helps to preserve the colour and the fit. Levi’s also states that ‘dry cleaning is unnecessary’, and machine dryers are ‘the enemy of denim’.

2. To belt or not to belt

Adding a belt will instantly elevate your jeans to a more styled look. Belts shouldn’t be there to hold up your jeans (unless, of course, you prefer a slouchy fit) but instead, treat a belt like a pair of earrings and use as a final flourish to complete your look. A smart leather number will add instant polish to the more casual aesthetic – make sure you tuck in your top, or half-tuck a jumper, to show it off. Wide-leg, barrel and any high-waist jeans will benefit from a belt.

3. Trying-on tips

Sizes can vary, so be prepared by having your waist and inside-leg measurements ready – before you add to the basket or hit the shops. Remember, the waistband should feel snug but there should be a gap of two fingers’ width to allow ease of movement.

4. Sustainable styles

A pair of jeans is one of the least sustainable items in your wardrobe, requiring around 20,000 litres of water and a huge amount of chemicals to produce. However, more planet-friendly options are out there, so look for brands that use organic cotton, and less water and chemicals than conventional methods. Try shopping second-hand or renting new styles, and invest in timeless styles that you will love for years. Washing less will also help.

5. Tailor-made

Plenty of brands offer an alterations service. Levi’s will hem the length, as well as fixing holes and tears. They will also customise your denim, such as changing buttons or adding embroidery. Uniqlo has a similar service, with all UK stores offering repairs. Swedish label Nudie Jeans offers a free repair service with every pair bought.

"What, with home workouts, you mean?" I asked innocently when the request came through to write a column on bedroom exercise for February. I sensed chuckling and winking at the other end of the e-waves. The w&h team are little monkeys and like to wind me up.

I thought I was going to have to look up the calorie output of all manner of saucy things, but luckily no. We can spare ourselves those details. Saying that, though, I did Google it. Apparently men burn 4.2 calories per minute and women 3.1 calories per minute. How they work that out beats me (did they measure the full range of best sex positions or just the missionary sex position, for example?), but let’s not dwell.

If the romantic month of February finds you in the loving embrace of the one you love, then we don’t want to ruin it with maths – just savour the moment. But be reassured that strong glutes, thighs and arms are going to – shall we say – enhance your staying power, and the bedroom is a good place to work on them.

Bedroom exercises

With your back against the wall, carefully slide down, ensuring your heels are underneath your knees. Hold that wall squat for 30 seconds to a minute. Repeat every day with your partner (those who train together, stay together!).

Now for glute bridges. Lie on your back, feet on the bed, dig heels in and lift up hips. These are amazing for firm, strong buttocks and hamstrings – 20 reps will do nicely. And lastly, press-ups, either against the wall or on the floor. A boost to our upper-body strength should we find ourselves in that… ahem… position.

Diet and sex life

I don’t think we can deny the positive impact that good health and fitness has on our sex life. Not from the viewpoint of how many times a night, you understand, but merely wanting it in the first place. We have to feel good about ourselves and we need to feel energetic, not lethargic. That will only come from… cue some words you’ve seen a thousand times in this column… a healthy diet of 90% whole foods and 10% treat-y stuff (the sort you’d hide from grandchildren), regular exercise and plenty of sleep.

And no, in case you were going to ask, there is no one food that is going to stick a rocket up your libido. Just aim for good fats (oily fish, seeds, nuts), plenty of veg for vitamins and minerals, and protein to fill us up and curb sugar cravings, and you’re pretty much there.

The importance of rest and sleep

The bedroom is also a place of rest and a sanctuary to unwind, so use the space to improve your flexibility. Stiff joints limit movement, and lack of movement causes lethargy and a slower metabolism, so spreading yourself out and taking your joints beyond their daily range of motion is hugely valuable.

There is also clear evidence of a relationship between health and sleep, but it’s rarely mentioned during most GP evaluations.

Too little sleep over time means the body is under stress. To help it cope, the body produces cortisol, a hormone with many functions – one is to release glucose to help you cope. Too much glucose triggers alarm bells and the surplus is shipped off to our fat cells.

You can raise your melatonin levels to aid sleep by consuming foods high in a protein called tryptophan – including turkey, chicken, yogurt, nuts, seeds, all green veg and tofu. Try not to eat too late, lower the lighting, apply an eye mask and earplugs – and enjoy!

Retirement is when you stop living at work… and start working at living. At least, that’s how I always imagined it. But now that I’m at retirement age, I simply can’t see myself walking in my front door and calling out, "Hi, darling. I’m home – forever."

And I don’t think I’m the only one not ready to hit the employment ejector seat. Many of my friends are older than the characters in The Thursday Murder Club. Are they living in a posh retirement home like Coopers Chase? No. And not just because they couldn’t afford it, but because they’re still working.

Retirement age?

Denmark has just raised the retirement age to 70. And I can see why. Retire now and we’re looking at nearly 20 years on the state pension, up from 13½ in the 1950s. So the question is – are we giving up work too early?

When I put my teenage foot on the first rung of the career ladder, retirees seemed so ancient. I didn’t know exactly how old they were because a camel ate the Dead Sea Scrolls where their births were recorded.

So, you can imagine my shock when my accountant pointed out I’m now old enough to claim a pension.

Is it really time to be put out to career pasture?

So, you can imagine my shock when my accountant pointed out I’m now old enough to claim a pension.

Is it really time to be put out to career pasture?

I don’t feel I’ve passed my amuse-by date. In fact, I’m having the most fun, the best ideas and the best sex I’ve ever had. You don’t give up sex when you get old; you get old when you give up sex. A sexagenarian’s motto? Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today!

Oh how times change

When I was an exhausted working mum, oh how I dreamt of being a lady of leisure. But now the thought of relaxing makes me tense. I recently downloaded some relaxation apps. I lay down on the bed, closed my eyes and concentrated on the sound of waves breaking on the beach… but immediately panicked about being trapped by the tide.

I even tried a retirement podcast on positive thinking… but felt more negative than ever.

If I gave up work, what would I do all day? Sit at home knitting my own bus pass? My brain would log me out due to inactivity. And then I wouldn’t be able to remember my password.

But then again, nobody on their death bed ever said, "Gosh, I wish I’d spent more time filling in forms and filing paperwork." There are no luggage racks on hearses; no pockets in shrouds. And, at 66, time is fugit-ing like there’s no tomorrow. So, perhaps this is the moment for some work/life balance?

My plan for this chapter

My new plan is to work and play with more passion than ever. Everyone’s obsessed with the length of life, but I want to live the width and the depth of life as well.

I want a life in 3D. I want to die young, as late as possible.

Retirement doesn’t mean you’re at the end of something; you’re just at the beginning of something else. It’s not goodbye; but hello to a new adventure.

Adventure before dementia, that’s our motto. Not that I’m making light of that terrible affliction. But you never know what’s around the corner. So, I’ll see you after work… on the dance floor.

Kathy Lette writes her amusing columns on all sorts of topics, from female friendship to faking orgasms, camaraderie at divorce parties and going makeup-free – and even the importance of laughter itself. A new column is published in woman&home magazine every month.

Makeup brands and their marketing departments seem to think that when it comes to eyelashes, more is more.

The assumption is that the best mascaras are the ones that create the chunkiest, darkest look possible, and have names like "X-Treme Drama Skyscraper Everest Lash." But is drama what we truly want? I'm not sure.

Speaking from experience, isn't the wishlist more along the lines of something to stop our eyes disappearing into our heads without making a smudgy mess in the process? These formulas are trickier to find than youth-oriented XXX-Treme ones (sigh), but here's something new and pleasingly affordable that fits the bill.

Why this elegant, lengthening mascara is my beauty buy of the week

I've got my issues with the 'clean girl' aesthetic that's dominated the last few years. But one thing it gets right is that, day to day, a lot of us aren't trying to make an impact with our makeup; we just want to look fresh, wide awake, and a bit more groomed.

Also, anyone with hooded lids, or who is menopausal or peri, will take one look at those spidery, sooty formulas and think, that'll be all over my eyelids in a hot second.

The rise and rise of tubing mascaras backs me up on this - these formulas are subtle, and built to be completely smudge-proof. But even as a tubing loyalist, I'll admit I sometimes want a bit more oomph than they can offer. Hence, my giving the latest L'Oreal launch a whirl...

Because it's 2026 and every makeup launch must boast a novel claim (72-hour wear is always a fun one), this says it gets your lashes 5mm closer to your eyebrows.

I believe it, while simultaneously having no idea how I'd check. To add my own statistics into the mix, I will say the curl and lift on this makes my face look one hour better slept and undoes 2.5 years of child-rearing from my eyes.

The fact that this mascara rings in under £15 - £11.20 at the time of writing on LookFantastic - is a bonus. It also adds weight to my theory that, just like underwear and chocolate bars, unfancy high street mascaras are often superior to overdesigned expensive ones. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday.

Running has always been precious 'me time'. As a carer, finding time for myself can be challenging, and this is my chance to switch off and recharge. Unfortunately, recent experiences have transformed what should be a fulfilling activity into an unpleasant ordeal.

Recently, in West London, someone shouted at me: “You can’t run, and you don’t belong here, Asian woman. Go back home.” I was proudly wearing my t-shirt that reads ‘Asian Women Run' - the name of the running club I founded to embody our strength and resilience.

It was disheartening that I encountered such blatant racism in a community celebrated for its diversity, and it signalled a significant shift in what this area used to represent.

It's not just dirty looks and comments, though. The summer of anti-immigration protests and riots last year remains clear in my mind, as St George's flags were raised on lamp posts and street signs in my area and around the country. Two separate incidents of rape against Sikh women occurred within weeks of each other a few months ago, reportedly motivated by the colour of their skin. This is absolutely terrifying.

I refuse to let fear dictate my routine, but I can't help feeling anxious before heading out for a run. My mind races with thoughts about where to go, making what should be an invigorating experience more stressful than anything else. I shouldn’t have to worry about driving and sitting in traffic to find a safe space to run. I deserve to run freely and confidently, and I won't let prejudice hold me back.

That’s why I started my own run club for Asian women to help more women like me feel safe. The group offers support to those who don't want to run alone, and now, many of the women in the group also don’t feel safe. I've changed my entire running plan, and with winter here, the days are darker. I probably won't be running much in the evenings at all, and if so, it will be at the track. Boring, yes, but it feels like the only safe option for the group.

Perhaps the saddest part is that it's not just us who feel this way - many other British Asian women are scared and anxious as well.

Khadija Patel, 39, received the Real Yellow Jersey award during the ten-year celebration of the Big Bike Revival this summer from Cycling UK. She leads a cycling group for Muslim women and girls in Bolton and advocates for their inclusion in the sport. She experienced a man shouting at her to "go back home" while out on a ride, and told me: "I've had eggs thrown and even been called a terrorist".

After insults, harassments, and unsafe situations, Khadija found it necessary to advise Muslim women not to cycle alone. As part of a new initiative, she organised a night cycling event as part of Cycling UK’s Glow Rides to advocate for safer streets - but expressed anxiety about potential negative comments in the run-up to the ride.

These incidents affect her and many women’s confidence, leading some to stop riding altogether, she says. Although Khadija appreciates the support from Cycling UK, she believes more needs to be done by authorities to address the racism and discrimination. For Khadija, continuing to show up and advocate for representation is crucial, as the experiences of Muslim women in cycling often go unseen.

“Many want to take part but don’t feel represented or safe," she tells me. "When we are included and supported, the impact is transformative. I’ve seen confidence grow, barriers fall, and women reclaim space through cycling, not just as a physical activity, but as a form of freedom, wellbeing, and belonging within their own communities.”

Ms Kaur*, 45, from North Yorkshire, has been running in her local area for eight years. "Over the past year, I have noticed an increase in racial abuse," she tells me. "One incident occurred around tea time, when there were many cars and people near a residential area. It was a normal day, and I was running after work, still in daylight. I was approached by white children who called me derogatory names and told me to go back home. Another incident involved a young white man who chased me, shouting offensive words.

“The messages driven by the media and politicians contribute to these attitudes. The abuse has become normalised and expected. We cross the road when we see boys or girls in a group, which I believe is very harmful, as we are living in fear of how we are seen by others.

"Unfortunately, I have come to expect verbal abuse from both white children and adults. People walking by typically don't intervene, so I continue with my run despite the abuse. After reporting the incidents to the police, I was asked for a statement two weeks later and questioned about what action I would like to take. This was very disappointing. There is a protocol for this sort of thing. I was a tick box. As long as they did the interview and shut the case, that was it. They came back with zero CCTV.”

After speaking to Ms Kaur, I reached out to the National Police Chiefs’ Council. A spokesperson gave me the following advice: “If someone’s behaviour makes you feel unsafe, you can report this to your local police force by calling 999 if the crime is ongoing, or 101 if it is something that has already happened. If you have suffered a hate crime, you can report it, either to the police, including through our True Vision web facility or to a trusted group like the Community Security Trust or Tell MAMA.”

Hema, 45, who lives at Stanmore, goes running weekly and leaves her house before her husband, as he runs faster. She planned to finish around the same time, but one day, he left the house a bit later, so she finished first.

While resting on a public bench on a main road, Hema noticed a woman staring at her, looking frightened. When Hema asked if she was okay, the woman approached and questioned her presence. Dressed in workout clothes and visibly exhausted, Hema explained she was resting after her run. The woman claimed Hema was on private land, but Hema pointed out that she was on a public street.

The woman insisted that Hema had to leave, but abruptly ended the conversation when she saw Hema's husband, who is of mixed race. The woman hurried across the road without waiting to see them together, but continued watching from a distance.

Feeling deflated afterwards, Hema realised the woman saw her as a threat. As a first-generation English citizen, Hema felt that people's biases are becoming more overt. Consequently, she changed her running route to avoid the area.

This Girl Can research tracker from November 2025 showed that 23% of Asian women worry about racism or religious discrimination in relation to doing physical activity (compared to 2% of white women). This rises to 32% for Asian Muslim women.

Kate Dale, Director of Sport England’s This Girl Can campaign, said: "Feeling unsafe or unwelcome outdoors is a major barrier to getting active that women can experience in different ways. For women from underrepresented communities, a combination of fear of harassment, cultural expectations and a sense of not belonging in public spaces can combine to prevent them from feeling able to participate in physical activity with confidence.”

With incidents such as these on the rise, community groups are changing how they operate. Selina, a participant in the fitness classes at the Pakistani Community Centre in Derby, has also faced racism while running outdoors and told me that women have had to alter their behaviour to fit in, making them feel unsafe and alienated.

These fitness classes, which take place inside the centre, have become a space where women feel they can be active in peace. “There is a need for a more compassionate and inclusive community in response to the issues of Islamophobia. As targets of such discrimination, these women do not want to be singled out. This is why they decided to create their own initiative, allowing them to engage in activities without the fear of encountering racist comments based on their appearance," she told me.

Finances can be a tricky subject, and it's common for us to feel jealous of friends and loved ones who might be materially better off than we are.

In this Ask Anna column, a reader sought my advice because they were feeling resentful over their friends' retirement plans and big pensions.

Because we've all had different career paths, it's natural for these feelings to crop up in friendship groups. I know how it feels, and I was happy to offer some advice.

Pension envy

The reader said: "I’m in my late 50s and have two friends who are always talking about their plans for retirement. They will both have hefty pensions because of the types of jobs they do.

"I won’t have a big pension, even though I have worked hard all my life too.

"I know that it will mean they will be able to travel and so on far more than I will when we all finish work. How do I stop myself feeling so resentful?"

It's natural to feel envious

I count myself lucky enough to be part of a group of friends who’ve known each other for over 40 years. We’ve been there for each other as we’ve grown up, had our hearts broken, started careers, married, divorced, had kids – or chosen a different path.

But every now and then, among a few of us, the conversation turns to the same topic... the one or two friends in our gang who’ve done really well for themselves.

I’m talking people who have come from nothing and made millions. The folk who head international companies, run property portfolios, or have married into wealth. We scroll through Instagram and spy on their latest travel posts; the sunsets, boats, perfect tans. We admire, gossip, and then... pick fault. Because do you know what? We’re envious as hell. And that’s difficult to admit because these are people we actually like.

There’s an undercurrent of envy and resentment in us all, and it makes us feel ugly. But envy, if you think about it, is really a self-criticism; a measurement of where we place ourselves in our social group, our ‘status’ compared to others. We experience it because we feel ‘less than’ in some way, and we hate to admit it, as by doing so we subconsciously lower our social status even more.

Choose how to respond to your envy

Evolutionary psychologists have found that humans respond to envy with either submission, ambition or destruction. Submission is where we accept another’s dominance and just steer clear of them; ambition is when we climb the greasy pole of success and try to compete with others; and then there’s destruction... in other words, the gossip and denigration of others that we’re all guilty of in order to make ourselves feel better.

It’s normal to try and rationalise our feelings, just as you’re doing when you say, "I won’t have a big pension, even though I have worked hard all my life too," but envy isn’t rational, it’s emotional – and the bigger the emotion, the more impact it will have on your life.

The thing that concerns me here is that you’re turning the destructive side of envy in on yourself, which is why you feel that private pain of resentment. Do your friends know how you feel? Are they sensitive to the fact you have less than they do, financially speaking?

Accept and own how you feel

Resentment is usually the result of a long history of unspoken unhappiness – and it’s toxic. So, first things first: own your feelings. By accepting and voicing them, you’ll take the sting away. Forgive yourself for feeling that way in the first place – it’s a natural human reaction.

Second, start building up other friendships based on love, support and understanding. Recognise that it might help you to be around people whose purse strings are less elastic. It might help you feel better about yourself, and boost your confidence and your positivity.

Finally, you say your friends will be able to afford to travel more than you. Travel doesn’t have to cost the earth, especially if you volunteer. International Volunteer HQ is the world’s leading volunteer travel organisation. It brings about positive transformation not only for the communities it supports, but also within the volunteers themselves.

Remember, success isn’t measured by the things we can (or can’t) afford to do. It’s measured by what makes us happy.

Anna advises our readers on relationship issues of all sorts, such as missing my younger self, friends moving away, disputes with neighbours, addressing health concerns for a loved one and navigating an empty nest, with a new Ask Anna column published in woman&home magazine every month.

If you would like help with a problem, email askanna@futurenet.com or leave a voice note at hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk and mention you’re a woman&home reader. Note that Anna may choose your dilemma to discuss on her podcast, It Can't Just Be Me.

In your smart house of the future, a glance in the bathroom mirror in the morning could flash back not just a tousled bedhead but relay information about your blood pressure and your current risk of developing type 2 diabetes. Coming downstairs, your voice assistant could announce your cardiovascular age has dropped a year since yesterday.

Whether that sounds a desirable way to live or like a movie you never want to be the star of, our approach to healthcare is set to change hugely. We are at the beginning of a revolution in health – and, as with so many things right now, Artifical Intelligence (AI) is at the heart of it.

I have spent the best part of two decades covering the greatest innovations on earth, largely presenting the BBC technology show Click. I’ve been to space agencies, tasted future food and encountered countless robots – some more useful than others – but no story has inspired me more than that of the future of our health.

On a mission to separate science from snake oil, I have dug through hundreds of medical papers and tested the best fitness trackers for women and latest devices.

I have felt my habits nudged into shape as I tried numerous wearables. I’ve been scanned by an array of preventative health machines. And sometimes my job simply wanted my blood – literally my blood, to analyse my DNA, disease risk or inflammatory age.

Can AI help women level up their health?

We all want to live a long healthy life, yet women in England, on average, spend a quarter of their lives in poor health. For men, it’s a fifth. Despite living in a high-income country, with a national health service, this is considered normal. So how might we close that gap between healthspan and lifespan, so we feel 40 at 60, suffer less and enjoy our lives for longer?

After years meeting leading scientists, doctors and innovators across the globe, I believe technology, especially AI, has the answer. Not on its own, of course, but alongside scientific breakthroughs, incredible amounts of good-quality data, and humans.

The good news is that doctors will not be replaced, but they will be supercharged by the enormous power that is evolving.

Groundbreaking innovations

Amazing technology is already reaching real people. From focused ultrasound easing Parkinson’s symptoms to 3D-printed skin for burns survivors, the progress is phenomenal.

Among many exciting future developments, breath analysis technology is being refined by Cambridge-based Owlstone Medical to help diagnose and monitor digestive problems.

AI data-crunching is invaluable and is already a power for good, time and time again.

Take Benevolent AI. In early 2020, the London-based drug discovery and development company’s computational modelling and subsequent lab work found that baricitinib, a drug licensed for rheumatoid arthritis, might reduce hospitalisations and deaths from Covid-19. It was trialled, approved and went on to make a massive difference to survival rates.

A number of trials have demonstrated the benefits of AI acting as an extra pair of eyes on scans – spotting tumours missed by humans.

AI scribes are taking notes while doctors do the more ‘human’ bits, and it’s helping speed up hospital discharges.

Stopping disease

At the core of the health revolution is this ability to prevent disease, be it cancer, heart disease, type 2 diabetes or others. Through AI, we will increasingly be able to draw on genetics, disease and lifestyle data, which will make it easier for medics to predict when illness might strike.

This means we can all be on the alert for signs of change earlier, and potentially avert disease or symptoms ever emerging.

Of course, it won’t be an end to sickness, but it will certainly put us in a better place than we are now, giving us a better shot at turning ‘sick care’ into ‘health care’.

Through a greater understanding of our microbiome and genetics, AI will also power medics to better personalise treatment and reduce side effects with more targeted drugs. This will lead to kinder treatments.

The role of fitness trackers

The potential isn’t just at a healthcare level, but also in what we as individuals can do to better know ourselves.

Wearables like the best Fitbit, Apple Watch, Oura Ring or Whoop are already about a lot more than how many steps you did yesterday. Sure, they can track activity, sleep, heart rate, temperature, blood oxygen and more, but the real power here is in the long-term patterns in our data.

Not every wobble in a pattern means something is wrong, but it can indicate an issue, and give you the chance to investigate further.

While these are not medical diagnostic devices – albeit some have some medical-grade components, like those for spotting signs of atrial fibrillation on the Apple Watch (Series 7 and newer models) – they do have the power to collect constant data.

This can prove a lot more powerful than sporadic visits to a doctor to check your heart rate or blood pressure, though these are still important for expert assessments.

How wearables alert users to conditions

Users of the Oura Ring have reported diagnoses following signs that something had nudged their ‘normal’ data readings out of kilter. Examples include a new mum who reported that spikes in her resting and sleeping heart rate led to an early hyperthyroidism diagnosis.

Another woman was diagnosed with lymphoma after noticing her basal body temp spiked as high as 2.7 degrees above her baseline, alongside an elevated heart rate.

In 2016, aged 44, TV producer and mother Nicolette Amette had worrying symptoms that readings on her smartwatch corroborated. She says, "I’d been feeling dizzy and funny at work quite often, and sometimes in the middle of the night, I’d wake up with the sensation that my heart was in my mouth because it felt so racy.

"We had some Fitbit Alta trackers [a model since replaced by the Fitbit Inspire] in the office for a health strand I was working on, and everyone put them on. I realised something wasn’t right as my resting heart rate was about 120bpm, rising to 140+, whereas friends’ were all about 65-89bpm.

"A couple of weeks later I blacked out walking my son Kit to school. At the local A&E, I told the triage nurse what had happened and how the Fitbit suggested my heart rate was very high. It was circling from 200 to 220+ and then stuck at 220.

"Medics did an ECG and showed me a little gap where my heart had stopped. They said I had arrhythmia, atrial fibrillation and tachycardia.

"I was scheduled for a heart operation and decided to get a Fitbit Alta because although it wasn’t medical grade, it stayed steady and validated my concerns when I felt unwell. I had another op in 2017 and then again in 2019.

"I stopped wearing the Fitbit during lockdown because I was monitoring it obsessively. Now, I’m good at knowing what my standing, walking and resting heart rate is, and I use a device and app called Kardia [often recommended by doctors] that allows me to take my own ECG, record it on my phone and email my cardiologist if I feel it racing and I’m uncomfortable."

Tech in the hands of humans is powerful

I am not advocating that anyone take their own health or management of conditions into their own hands. I am simply reporting what real-world use of technology can lead to, alongside crucial medical care.

Technological advance is not without risk, but incredible transformation is to come, and each and every one of us needs to know what it means – and how not to be left behind.

In a world where we are constantly faced with wellness trends, diet fads and contradictory ideas, we first need to know what is plausible. Then comes what we can do to help ourselves.

By tracking our habits, lifestyles and state of health, as well as the impact of any changes we make, we will understand more from changes in the patterns our wearables indicate.

All this at the same time as the possibilities for disease prediction, prevention and treatment evolve within our healthcare system. Change won’t come overnight but we now have the tools to track, the science to support and the AI to make sense of data in ways no humans ever could.

The power is huge, and multiplying fast. AI might just save your life.

Hacking Humanity by Lara Lewington is out now.

You may have noticed a big trend on social media at the moment for 2016 nostalgia, with celebrities and non-famous people (many of them in their 20s and 30s) sharing photos of places they travelled, what they wore and what they were up to.

While testing our 2016 knowledge has been fun, the trend has also proven oddly triggering and confusing for some of us midlife women. As woman&home ecommerce editor Heidi Scrimgeour says, "If you, too, are feeling dizzy as the waves of nostalgia break all around you, I see you. It feels discombobulating because it is; it reminds us, sometimes sharply, of the fact that we are no longer the young ones."

The reader who wrote in for this column has been thinking a lot about a time when she was young and carefree, and found herself yearning more and more for a simpler time. I gave her some advice about navigating this common urge and underlying feelings.

Am I dwelling on the past too much?

The reader said, "I am in my late 50s and although I have a comfortable, happy life – a husband who loves me, a nice house and an adult son who lives at home – I’m becoming increasingly nostalgic.

"It’s almost as if I have just realised I am growing older. I find myself looking at photographs of me when I was younger and wishing I was still at that stage of my life. My husband tells me it’s not healthy to dwell on the past and I need to start living in the present, but I can’t see what there is to look forward to."

Nostalgia is normal

I had a long conversation with my ex-boyfriend on the phone last night. After complaining about his hearing aid for 20 minutes, dodgy knees and an eye infection, he caught me completely off guard by saying, "We’ve known each other for 30 years this year. We’ve had so much fun together, haven’t we?"

At which point I burst into tears. Because life in your 50s can be so hard, and nostalgia can catch you at your lowest point, when you least expect it to.

Believe me, you’re not alone in having that pang of longing for the days when everything felt a little fresher, a little brighter and, let’s be honest, a little more exciting.

Like you, I’m a bit prone to melancholy… but that’s exactly the point at which I take myself by the collar and have a stiff word with myself. And I hope you’ll forgive me if I do the same with you too.

Grieving the loss of old you

Your husband makes a good point, by the way – and he’s absolutely right about living in the present moment. It really is the only way. But telling someone not to dwell on the past is a bit like saying ‘Stop being depressed’. It’s not that simple.

You’re not just missing your younger self – you are grieving a version of you that, in some ways, feels lost. The photos you’re looking at aren’t just snapshots – they are stories, moments of possibility, little windows into a time when you felt vital and optimistic.

I find one of the hardest things about reaching midlife is dealing with the fact that the world doesn’t see us the same way any more.

But here’s the truth – that vibrant, curious, adventurous woman is still very much alive. Your nostalgia is a reminder that you have lived, loved and been bold enough to chase after what you wanted. How fabulous is that?

Shift your focus

So, instead of yearning for what’s been, I want you to shift your focus. Rather than feeling that this younger version of you is gone forever, what if you treated her like an old friend? Visit her in your mind, have a little chat, reminisce, but then come back and think about how she would want you to live now.

Would she want you to feel stuck in a loop of sadness? No! I bet she’d be saying, "Get out there, girl! You’ve still got it!"

One thing I can highly recommend is Noon – the online community founded by journalist Eleanor Mills. It’s the home of the ‘Queenager’, and is dedicated to empowering women in midlife and beyond. One of the most brilliant things about it is that it offers resources, events, retreats and courses that support and encourage women through the challenges of the second half of our lives. And you may just make some new mates too.

Remember, you are still the woman in those photos. And she has plenty of new stories left to write. One day, when you’re in your rocking chair, you may well look back at the memories you make now and say, "That was the best time of my life."

Anna advises our readers on relationship issues of all sorts, such as friends moving away, disputes with neighbours, addressing health concerns for a loved one and navigating an empty nest, with a new Ask Anna column published in woman&home magazine every month.

If you would like help with a problem, email askanna@futurenet.com or leave a voice note at hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk and mention you’re a woman&home reader. Note that Anna may choose your dilemma to discuss on her podcast, It Can't Just Be Me.

Can a leopardess change her spots? I think so. In the past, I have been guilty of being a fashion snob around the ubiquitous leopard print.

Believing that only vintage would do, I avoided any outbreak of man-made spots on the high street – loyally standing by a 1960s faux fur coat found in a junk shop. And as every season needs an outstanding coat, a lighter-weight summer style, By Malene Birger from a designer resale store. Now I’ve added a maxi skirt from Ganni, wide-leg trousers from Jigsaw, and I’m considering a utility jacket. It's time to wear my leopard print with pride.

Wondering how to style leopard print? This functional, fashionable and fabulous print makes the perfect accompaniment to wardrobe stalwarts, such as the best jeans for your body type (white, black and indigo all look good), classy camel, utilitarian khaki and a flash of pillar-box red.

Alyson Walsh explains her changing relationship with leopard print

One of my friends, a lifelong leopardess, bought a leopard print baseball cap from Zara last summer. "I haven’t worn a baseball cap since I was at university 30 years ago, so I was worried it might look a bit try-hard," she said. "But actually, it was the perfect holiday hat, and I felt quite sleek and celebrity-incognito in my sunglasses and statement cap!"

Beloved of Hollywood royalty, from Elizabeth Taylor to Marilyn Monroe, donned by First Ladies Jackie Kennedy, Michelle Obama and Dr Jill Biden, and actual royalty – the late Queen Elizabeth II in the 1960s – this powerful print has staying power.

In recent months, we've enjoyed Sienna Miller's leopard print dress, Claudia Winkleman in leopard, Olivia Coleman's leopard print coat, and more.

And it's not unique to the fashion set – woman&home's Health editor Grace Walsh is also a fan of leopard print activewear.

Shop leopard print

Find your prints charming

The late American fashion editor Diana Vreeland once said, "I’ve never met a leopard print I didn’t like." But I have. So take a quick spot check before buying.

When the print is a mere splodge and the colour too bright, leave well alone.

Look for a generously spaced, lucid pattern in natural, big-cat colours, and your leopard print will roar.

Treat it as a neutral

It was American fashion designer Jenna Lyons who decreed that leopard print could be treated as a neutral. And she’s not wrong! The natural pattern, the kind that wouldn’t look out of place on the savannah, goes with pretty much any other colour in your wardrobe – from brilliant hues to pared-back basics.

If you prefer a tonal, understated look, surround leopard print with tan, camel, latte and chocolate for an outfit that’s both elegant and eye-catching.

Pairing tips

It doesn’t have to be attention-grabbing. Leopard is perfect for pulling on over jeans and a white t-shirt during the day, and chic enough to slip on with a simple silk top and a black maxi skirt after dusk.

Or double up by teaming a Ganni leopard jacket with Boden animal-print Mary Janes.

If you think we’ve reached Peak Leopard, think again. I’m all over man-made spots. Just keep it chic and simple.

Alyson’s shirt in the main image is from MHL (similar available at With Nothing Underneath), trousers from Jigsaw, trainers from Vans; bag and jewellery, Alyson’s own.

Hello you lovely lot. Right, I have 500 words and I’m not going to use them for persuasion or coercion, because that doesn’t work. I want to explain what the point of exercise is. All facts, no emotion. Then you can make up your own mind.

The first fact is that many people view exercise purely as a means to lose weight. So that 45 minutes of exertion three to four times a week becomes only about burning calories.

Yet – and this is important – we burn calories all the time. Just sitting still. Breathing, digesting and metabolising uses around 60% of our daily calories. Then our hard-working brains use another 20%. Another 10% goes on essential daily movement, getting dressed, cleaning teeth, cooking etc. So, that means just 10% of your daily calories are used on that workout which you do, or don’t, want to do. And, if you think about it, 10% of your calories is a very small dent in your fat stores.

Diet and exercise go hand in hand

Let’s take Sylvia. By June, she wants to slide effortlessly into the mother-of-the-bride dress she bought a size smaller in the January sales. So Sylvia starts brisk walking for 30 minutes five days a week, which her fitness tracker tells her burns around 130 calories. That’s 650 calories (5 x 130) in a week.

Walking as a workout is fantastic exercise, but if all Sylvia wants is to lose fat, then making changes to her food will have much more impact in terms of calories.

Swapping her two breakfast slices of toast, butter and marmalade for one slice of toast, one poached egg and a large crunchy apple, plus reducing the three daily chocolate digestives down to one, saves her (yes, I’m sitting here with my calculator) just shy of 2,000 calories a week. Without much hardship.

My point is that if you want to lose fat, think more about changes to your food than exercise because exercise has way more to offer than calorie burning.

What’s more, you don’t have to go through a pain barrier to feel the rewards. Sylvia has come to love her brisk power walks (yes, she’s moved on from a saunter), and she is experiencing good things.

If I told you those good things, would you lose interest? Does it feel a bit like someone telling you why smoking is bad? You’ve heard it all before, I know, but I’m sorry because you’re going to hear it again, without the emotion, just the facts.

From walking to weightlifting – you choose what you enjoy but they will all improve your physical health, your mental health and your energy levels, as well as: increase bone density, muscle strength and joint stability; reduce the risk of depression, stroke, heart disease and type 2 diabetes; contribute to better sleep; lower blood pressure; increase body awareness and balance; and improve your core strength, flexibility, mobility – and very possibly sociability.

The list goes on but I’m running out of words. It doesn’t have to hurt to be good. And it’s never too late to start. Find a form of exercise you enjoy and make it a habit. Make it something you always do. You wouldn’t let your children down. Don’t let yourself down, either.

3 moves to do when you have no time

We’re covering all bases here – strength of upper and lower body, as well as mobility.

Call it multitasking if you like! Do them in order, for the number of reps and do three rounds.

1. Sumo squats

They use all leg muscles and the glutes. Stand with feet turned out and wider than shoulder-width apart. Slowly lower your hips, keeping your knees pointing roughly over your second toe. Pause and rise slowly back up. Do 10-20 reps.

2. Spine twist

This improves spinal mobility and core strength. Stand with feet in a V and squeeze glutes. Breathe in, keep arms outstretched and, as you breathe out, slowly twist to the left, keeping hips facing forward. Do three times each side.

3. Don’t shy away from push-ups

They’re cracking for upper body strength and firming up the triceps. Start on all fours, hands slightly wider than shoulders. Slowly lower yourself towards the floor. Pause then push back up. Do five reps slowly.

Ten years on, 2016 is suddenly everywhere on social media – and midlife women like me can’t stop watching.

TikTok and Instagram are full of 2016 nostalgia, from Kate Middleton's best 2016 outfit to disbelief that TikTok didn’t exist a decade ago.

Why? For anyone in their late twenties or early thirties, a decade feels like a milestone, which means they’ve just been hit with a serious surge of nostalgia – possibly for the first time in adulthood.

Like all good moments of nostalgia, the 2016 trend is all about looking back through rose-tinted glasses, allowing ourselves to believe that everything was somehow better, easier, or simpler a decade ago.

Now, if you’re observing this as a 40-something or older woman, I think I know exactly what you’re thinking. You've probably had to do some quick mental maths to check they haven’t got it all wrong, and 2016 actually was a decade ago. Because to us, it feels like a few years ago, at most. I’ve probably got emails from 2016 that I haven’t yet got round to replying to. To midlife women, as I heard someone joke, 2016 feels like it was only a couple of Botox appointments ago. Meanwhile, all around us, a new generation of women is sharing pre-pandemic memories and throwbacks as if leafing through the dusty annals of time.

‘2016 did have such a vibe to it,’ says woman&home Head of News, Caitlin Elliott. ‘My friends and I used to wear a choker for every night out, and all my Uni pics have the Snapchat dog filter!’

I’m pretty sure the choker thing is really a 90s trend that made a comeback in the mid 2010s, but that’s beside the point. Once I got past my shock that yes indeed, 2016 was ten years ago, I realised something unexpected - it’s actually rather lovely to listen to my colleagues reminisce about their lives ten years ago. They swap stories about Top Shop Jamie jeans and first jobs before hybrid-working was even a thing, with the same fond disbelief that my friends and I reserve for bootcut jeans, dark lip liner with lipstick several shades lighter, and those wispy bits of fringe that we spent hours gelling into place until we thought they looked effortless.

Feeling the 2016 nostalgia? Six 2016 throwbacks to shop now

So, as 2016 nostalgia grips everyone around me, I am resisting the urge to point out that ten years isn’t that big of a deal when you’ve been around for almost half a century or more. Or that true nostalgia belongs to the 90s, which everyone knows was the best decade of all time, mainly because smartphones hadn’t been invented yet, and when we went to concerts, people waved cigarette lighters and downloaded the memory in their precious memory banks, instead of holding phones aloft and uploading pictures to the Cloud.

'We had to wait a week to watch the next episode of anything!', I want to cry. Of course, it’s as old as the hills that the older generation acts as if they have a monopoly on the past. What I realised this week is that this feeling belongs to everyone. The bittersweet joy of fondly recalling a moment that you now realise has long since passed isn’t only the preserve of those of us in perimenopause or beyond. It might feel too soon to look back ten years to 2016 with misty-eyed wistfulness, but nostalgia is not a competition.

So I've resolved to keep my ‘back in my day…’ anecdotes to myself and let the younger generation's stories unfold without interrupting. Because there’s something almost ritualistic about looking back at a shared moment in time and recognising how much has changed. This is a precious rite of passage, and it’s not my place to point out that my Birkenstocks predate this funny little chapter in history that everyone’s suddenly obsessed with.

If you, too, are feeling dizzy as the waves of nostalgia break all around you, I see you. It feels discombobulating because it is; it reminds us, sometimes sharply, of the fact that we are no longer the young ones. And in a world that idolises and idealises youth, that’s not always a comfortable thought. I heard someone describe this as emotional mileage - instead of scoffing at 2016 nostalgia, as our parents might have dismissed the bands we loved on Top of The Pops as all having been done before, we can simply smile and bear witness to this new wave of women who are realising, perhaps for the first time. that they aren’t as young as they once were.

Welcome to the club. It honestly gets better the longer you're in it.

It’s January – how did that happen? And I absolutely LOVE January. No, really. I do. As a fitness and weight-loss coach, it’s one of the most fulfilling and exciting times of the year because people are so motivated. They’ve had enough of excess, they want restraint and control.

You may have been viewing January as your safety net, because after weeks of treat food, pub food, posh food, other people’s food, you can’t wait to undo it all on a January ‘diet’.

But instead, some ‘moderation’ might work better. So don’t be miserable this month eating cod and broccoli (standard tasteless weight-loss fodder), but instead use January to carve out a longer lasting routine of good nutritious food, feel-good strength training and wholesome cardio, with a small chocolate treat each day. Wait… what?! Chocolate? In January? Yes!

Over the last few years, I’ve used my column as a platform to advise you on getting into shape. Not just getting there, but staying there. That means building a solid foundation of healthy food and movement, one that works with your lifestyle, all year round, rather than sporadic bursts of starving and sprinting.

Don't make things too hard for yourself

You might have a whole list of New Year’s resolutions stuffed away in the notes folder on your phone, and if it starts with ‘lose weight’, read this. Try not to wander down a narrow restrictive path of self-hatred and punishment, thinking ‘the harder this is, the better the results’. To be frank, it’s more a case of ‘the harder this is, the harder you fall’.

Approach January with the mindset of someone who wants to try hard to implement good habits for at least six months, not just for January.

I’m not dissing resolutions, far from it. They’re a great source of motivation, but pad them out with realism so that come February, your new routine, dignity and progress are still intact.

Let’s take our friend Susan – say she has a 2026 goal to drop from a size 14 to a size 12. When she gets to that size 12, presumably she’ll want to stay there. This means that what she does in January has to be something she can sustain throughout the ensuing months. Therefore, a puritanical diet of cod, broccoli, chicken and kale, plus daily hellish HIIT workouts might not fit the bill.

However, three smaller varied meals, with wholegrain carbohydrates (oats, quinoa, brown rice), plenty of protein-rich meals (poultry, fish, nuts, legumes, dairy), minimum seven hours of sleep, loads of veg, some daily steps, three strength workouts a week and a dinky little chocolate bar to round off the day just might carry Susan into the summer. No punishment, just results – and it’s what all my clients get.

December handed us temptation on a plate and I’m sure we all heartily succumbed, but let’s not dwell on it. What is done is done. Be kind to yourself and look at January with a long lens. Short-term drastic fixes are just that: short-term.

One thing to do this month

Experiment with soup! It’s cheap, nutritious and great for boosting your lunch. Try two new recipes a week using vegetables and pulses. Chuck in some herbs and you’ll be nearing the recommended 30 plant foods per week for the healthiest gut microbiome.

There’s a low-fat spinach and broccoli soup recipe on my Blast Plan website, which scores highly on the smug-o-meter.

Annie Deadman is a fitness expert who writes a monthly Fitness Guru column for woman&home magazine, and a Feel Great column for our sister title, Woman magazine.

There's no health and fitness topic she won't tackle – from how to enjoy the benefits of caffeine to stretches to bring on sleep, to how to lose a menopause tummy, and how to love your legs in shorts.

Hey beauty friends, and happy first Friday afternoon of this lovely new year. Now that we've made it through the busy season, with all the festivities and vices that come with it, I'm sure there are some of you who, like me, are feeling like a little TLC may be in order.

For me, that January reset starts with my skin. Not only does the season of Champagne, eggnog and fancy red wine usually have my skin feeling slightly dull and frazzled, but the cold weather at this time of year leaves it dry, tight and sometimes quite flaky.

That was until I discovered an easy little tip from a beauty industry expert that has been getting my skin through the winter months like nothing ever has before...

The easy skincare tweak I'm doing on repeat this month

Scrolling through Instagram one uneventful evening in November had me come across a post from beauty and skincare expert Michaela Bolder, Master Facialist and founder of The Bolder Method® facial massage, where she advised mixing a drop of facial oil into your daily moisturiser.

As someone who has suffered from oily to combination skin over the years, you can understand my trepidation at giving it a try. However, Bolder's explains that "while your day moisturiser provides cellular hydration through its water content, a facial oil seals in that essential moisture, providing a veil over the surface of the skin, helping to prevent trans epidermal water loss, which is when hydration literally evaporates on the surface layer of the skin."

She adds: "Adding two products together such as a moisturiser and oil offers extra nourishment and skin support that lasts all day long."

So, for the last two months, no matter which of my best face moisturisers I'm using, I've not gone a skincare routine without adding in a couple of drops of oil. And it's been transformative on my skin. Gone is the winter tightness and dryness, the post-festive skincare slump has been the least dramatic I've experienced, and I've even been mistaken (multiple times) as my 30-year-old sister's younger sibling.

Bolder also provided a tip on application, suggesting that the best way to get the most out of the skincare combination is through massaging into the skin.

"Facial massage movements have been truly found to improve product efficacy and product absorption, making your skincare work harder for you."

Make it your 'On Repeat' if: The cold temps and festive schenanigans are leaving your skin dry, tight or flaky

Until next month, beauties...

Forget potions and lotions, tonics and tinctures. Medical research presented at a cardiology conference in Amsterdam revealed that laughter really is the best medicine.

Apparently, a good chortle unleashes the same health-boosting chemicals as a bout of vigorous exercise. Laughing brings about a drop in blood pressure and boosts the immune system.

Clearly, a daily dose of Dawn French or Sarah Millican should be prescribed by doctors.

It’s also a reminder to spend time with funnier friends. One of my gal pals was stranded in an elevator recently. Precariously suspended in a claustrophobic cube in pitch darkness, she texted a message to the outside world: ‘Send in Chardonnay and chocolate.’ I grinned at my pal’s cheeky charm, but also admired her ability to laugh in the face of adversity.

Laugh in the face of sadness

Humour can be a shock absorber for your brain, too. When my darling dad became suddenly seriously ill, my heartbroken mum, three shell-shocked sisters and I drew strength from the gallows humour we shared by his deathbed. Laughter became a pressure valve, releasing our pain.

When my good mate Billy Connolly was diagnosed with prostate cancer, Parkinson’s disease and hearing loss, he reacted the way any comedian would. He laughed. “Ironic, isn’t it, Kath, that life keeps the punchline till the end.” When I offered sympathy, he shrugged off my concern with admirable insouciance. “I’ve also got anorak-sia nervosa, an irrational fear of ugly raincoats.”

Another dear pal, Spike Milligan, was equally irreverent when penning his famous epitaph, “I told you I was ill”! I hope he’d be amused by my tombstone inscription, chosen to reflect my life as a novelist… Finally, a good plot!

And speaking of literature, why is it that depressing memoirs, known as ‘misery lit’, constantly win all the prestigious book prizes? It’s so much harder to make people laugh than cry.

I’m going to name my cat Pulitzer, just so I can say that I have one.

My literary pin-ups, Dorothy Parker, Sue Townsend, Nora Ephron and other members of the Cliterati, all mixed wit with grit. Sharp-witted, breezy broads, they shrugged off life’s trials and tribulations with a sly wink, a one-liner and lashings of lip gloss.

The reason that Jackie Collins sold 500 million books is due to her heroines’ ability to shoot from the lip – leaving male cads quivering from quip-lash. In real life, Jackie was just as sassy. Over lunch a few years ago, she told me about being ambushed, aged 15, by a flasher. Jackie’s sanguine response deflated more than his ego. “Cold today, isn’t it?” was her withering put-down.

But what she didn’t tell me that day was that she was suffering from terminal cancer. A true broad, she was on a book tour just two weeks before she died, dolled up in leopard print and dishing out bon mots.

Plagued as we are with wars, climate woes and cost-of-living crises, it’s more important than ever that we remember to find the funny. Our motto? Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you get salt in your cocktail.

Kathy Lette writes her amusing columns on all sorts of topics, from faking orgasms to camaraderie at divorce parties to going makeup-free and why it's easier to be a man. A new column is published in woman&home magazine every month. This one is a gem from the archives!

Your female friends are like your favourite, most comfy pair of big knickers – they’ve got your a**e covered. Keeping with the underwear analogy, we’re also one another’s human Wonderbras – uplifting and supportive, making each other look bigger and better.

The power of female friendship is so strong, I find a girls’ night out more therapeutic than a wellness retreat. The only danger of a girls’ night out is being hospitalised from hilarity.

So why the great male myth that women aren’t funny? One of the reasons is that they’re terrified to think what it is we are being humorous about. Some men presume women spend the whole time talking about the length of their members, which is not true... We also talk about the width!

Scientists tell us that laughter is innate; it originates in the oldest part of the brain, the hypothalamus. Biologists maintain that laughter increases our biological fitness. Anthropologists have revealed that Inuits hold laughing competitions and women, in all cultures, laugh more often than men, especially in all-female groups. Why?

Why are women so funny...

In truth, some people are funny and others have funniness thrust upon them. As the butt of God’s biological joke, for the female of the species, it’s a case of laugh or cry. I mean, just think of all the trials women endure.

First off, there’s the shock of menstruation when you discover that you’ll be taken hostage by your hormones once a month.

Then there’s pregnancy, where everything swells to sumo wrestler proportions; followed by childbirth, where you stretch your birth canal the customary, what, five kilometres? Next comes mastitis and, before you know it, the menopause.

Then, just when things go quiet, what happens? You grow a beard! How can that be fair? I could make a macramé hanging basket with what’s sprouting out of my chin right now.

Still, we don’t whinge about it, do we girls? No. Our only motto is – laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you get salt in your champers!

But without doubt, if I didn’t have the cathartic camaraderie afforded by female friendship, I’d end up hatching abandoned bird eggs in my bra.

... and so eloquent

Men may be physically stronger but women are verbally more dexterous. Numerous studies have revealed that women use hundreds more words than men in our daily vocabularies.

My boyfriend maintains this is because there are only so many ways to say "Yes, dear."

But the fact remains that while most men grope towards a single entendre, women give excellent quip-lash. So, next time a man tells you that women ‘just aren’t funny’, explain the reason women don’t tell jokes is that we marry or work for them.

So, here’s to batting around bon mots with our human Wonderbras. I’m wearing one now and it’s so called because when you take it off, you wonder where your boobs have gone!

But one thing I never have to wonder about is where my friends have gone because I hold my friends close. Including you. So, thank you for being my pen pal.

Kathy Lette writes her amusing columns on all sorts of topics, from faking orgasms to camaraderie at divorce parties to going makeup-free and why it's easier to be a man. A new column is published in woman&home magazine every month. This one is a gem from the archives!

I started my week with an early morning catch-up with woman&home digital content director Anna, and, as usual, our conversation started with how we'd spent the weekend.

As Anna told me about some lovely plans she had enjoyed with her family and friends, a wave of sadness came over me. It all sounded so festive and joyful in comparison to the few days I had spent navigating illness with kids, plans changing, the ever-looming feeling that I still have so much to get ready for Christmas and the growing worry that something - or, more importantly, someone - has been forgotten.

I suddenly felt quite teary, and when Anna asked how my weekend was, I struggled to hold it together. ‘I just feel really flat, and I don’t know why’.

I love Christmas, always have, but this year particularly, December has flown by and I feel desperately underprepared - which is not a great situation to find yourself in with three young children whose excitement levels are through the roof.

As always, Anna was unbelievably supportive, but I came off the call wondering how I am ever going to be ready in time, and if, indeed, I will feel the festive spirit I'm longing for. And, as if by magic, Dr Amir popped up on my Instagram feed with this message:

As I listened to our resident GP explain how 'every year around Christmas he sees the same thing in his clinic - women who are exhausted, emotional, run down and quietly asking themselves 'why can't I cope', it felt like he was reading my mind.

And when he followed with 'the answer is there is nothing wrong with you', I could have cried with relief. I listened intently to the rest of Dr Amir's video, soaking in the science behind Christmas burnout and nodding furiously at how it hits women harder because of the responsibility of it all.

'Women are expected to carry Christmas, to plan it, remember it, feel it, to anticipate everyone else's needs, their gifts, their meals, family dynamics, often without being asked. Now layer on to that hormones, PMS, perimenopause, menopause and stress hormones like cortisol that stay high all day long... '

Never before had I felt so seen. And the acknowledgement from not only Dr Amir but from the hundreds of women in the comments saying they felt it too was such a comfort.

'The message so many women deserve to hear', one wrote in the comments.

'This is such a relief to hear this. I get myself into such a state trying to be perfect and I always feel like I’ve let people down. Not one person in my family ever complains either in fact the opposite they love coming. But it’s about putting pressure on myself I guess I need to relax more', said another.

I completely agree with that last comment particularly. So much of the expectation and pressure of Christmas comes from myself, but the societal pressure to make Christmas magical is also undeniable. And so I'm clinging tightly to Dr Amir's much-needed words of wisdom for the foreseeable:

'If you feel more tearful, more irritable, craving sugar or just feeling overwhelmed, that's not weakness, that's biology colliding with social pressure. You are not broken. You are not required to be perfect this Christmas. You don't have to hold everything together. And you don't have to make it magical at your own expense. Lowering the bar isn't failing, it's self protection. Rest isn't laziness. Saying no isn't selfish. If Christmas feels heavy this year, you are not broken, you're not doing anything wrong, you are just human. And sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is do less and let that be enough'.

We've all felt left behind at some point, and while it's very much part of life, that doesn't make it any easier.

Whether it's friends moving away, your children moving out, or you're weighing up retirement, change can be tricky to accept. But how you deal with those changes are up to you – and there are more possibilities than you might think.

Our reader is feeling left behind because her friends are downsizing and moving away, but worries that she'll miss seeing her children if she joins them. Here's the advice I had to offer.

Should I stay or should I go?

The reader said: "Friends are downsizing and moving away, and I’m starting to feel left behind.

"A couple of friends have moved west and I am wondering if I should join them, but that would mean not being close to my children, who I see once a week and would miss.

"I am 63, retired and single, and worry I might not make new friends easily."

There's no 'right' answer

Feeling left behind in life is something I think we’ve all experienced at some stage – I know I have. And it really doesn’t help when we start to measure ourselves against what others are doing.

Whether it’s leaving home for the first time, watching friends travel around the world, agonising over marriage and kids, or retiring from a career you’ve loved for decades, it’s all a part of growth and change.

And one thing I know for sure is that change can be really difficult, especially when it means rethinking your social circles and the ways you find friendship.

It stirs up a whole mixed bag of emotions – from the fear of losing your security, to excitement about the possibilities that are waiting for you elsewhere.

You’re facing an almost impossible dilemma: should you stay close to the safety of familiarity, or take a leap of faith into the unknown with the potential for new love and connection?

There’s no ‘right’ answer here, so let’s try and clarify what feels best to you.

A change of scenery could be beneficial

Firstly, the ‘leap of faith’ option. One thing I’m struck by is that you’re still young! You’re only 63 – and, I’m guessing, healthy and financially stable – so this is a chance for you to create the life you want, with the freedom of knowing you’re not burdened by any previous responsibility. What a glorious position to be in.

Moving west to join your pals could offer some fantastic new opportunities, particularly if you feel drawn to the place they’ve chosen to live.

Just imagine: a new house, a new beginning, a refreshing change of scenery and access to a local community where you can see familiar faces. And, who knows? You may even want to start dating again.

Having said that, your friends’ presence doesn’t guarantee an automatic social network, and moving somewhere unfamiliar can be challenging, especially if you’re anxious that meaningful connection may be hard to come by.

Reflect on why you want to stay where you are

One way to approach this is to explore what, exactly, is drawing you to the idea of moving and whether there are ways to experience those benefits without having to leave your current home.

Sometimes, longing to follow friends reflects a need for closer relationships that you might be able to build right where you are already. Is it that you’re feeling bored? Dissatisfied? Are you looking for purpose?

Have a think about engaging in social activities locally that might open doors to new friendships.

If you’re leaning towards ‘staying put’, then reflecting on your relationship with your children could also help. You’ve said that weekly visits with them are an important source of stability for you, so moving far away could mean losing that consistent closeness.

Try to imagine life without those weekly visits – would you feel a significant void or would other friendships fill that space?

Some people I know who’ve moved away from family find that creating regular phone calls or video chats eases that distance – but only you can decide if that will be enough for you.

Maybe the best way to solve this is to experiment without commitment. Spend a few weeks visiting your mates in their new place to get a feel for what living there might be like, while also thinking about whether you could be happy creating new friendships where you are.

If you approach this decision with curiosity, rather than pressure, you might just find your anxiety disappears – and a new life opens up.

Anna advises our readers on relationship issues of all sorts, such as friends who make everything about them, worries about a daughter's relationship, addressing health concerns for a loved one and navigating an empty nest, with a new Ask Anna column published in woman&home magazine every month.

If you would like help with a problem, email askanna@futurenet.com or leave a voice note at hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk and mention you’re a woman&home reader. Note that Anna may choose your dilemma to discuss on her podcast, It Can't Just Be Me.

For special occasions, I always recommend choosing a simple, elegant silhouette, outstanding jewellery and shoes you can dance in. There is no need to go overboard – this is not the Met Gala.

If you want to have a good time, choose a heel height you can handle. For her second wedding, author of Home Matters and writing coach Penny Wincer bought a pair of gold metallic, pearl-embellished flats. “I was going to wear platforms but I wanted to feel comfortable all day long and the Emma Hyacinth shoes are like wearing slippers,” she says.

Whatever the occasion – ‘Big O’ birthday drinks, a wedding or formal New Year’s Eve event – taking the long view makes the most fashion sense.

Think about longevity when shopping for occasionwear

“When I bought my wedding dress in 2008, I knew if I was spending that much money I wanted to wear it again,” says photographer’s agent Harriet Margolies.

Excessive frills, fascinators and frou-frou – any complicated designs have a sell-by date and could take the wearer from posh garden party to pantomime.

Choosing a deep purple, full-length evening gown from Amanda Wakeley rather than a traditional wedding dress guaranteed versatility and timelessness. As a result, Harriet’s heavy silk satin dress has seen several special occasions.

Feeling good and doing something personal and meaningful matters. For her 50th birthday party, Harriet swapped the original belt for a patterned, elasticated one, replaced wedding slingbacks with silver trainers and celebrated her half-century in style. Her daughters, aged 15 and 10, approved. “What was lovely was the girls really liked seeing me in my wedding dress,” she says.

Shop elegant classics

Use accessories to up the glam-factor

Add energy to a pared-down dress with a sparkling barrette or blingy earrings and metallic kitten heels. Make a simple neckline stand out with a chunky beaded necklace (or two), a glittery brooch or statement corsage.

When it comes to handbags, avoid the clutch – how are you going to hold your champagne glass?! Go for a hands-free shoulder bag with a slinky chain strap instead. The finishing touches will make all the difference.

Prioritise your personal style and comfort

Many of us feel under pressure to get it right on formal occasions. If special event shopping takes you out of your comfort zone, consider your favourite silhouettes, colours and outfit combinations, and then look for dressier versions.

Today, there are lots of non-dress-wearing options – from tuxedos for women in different shades (or just add new slinky palazzo pants to a favourite belted blazer) to easy-to-wear co-ords (for matching blouses and skirts, try Hobbs, Jigsaw, LK Bennett and ME+EM).

It’s easier than ever to be yourself.

Alyson's dress in the main image is her own, originally from Jigsaw, Mary Jane block heel shoes from Russell & Bromley, earrings from The Hoop Station and necklaces from Amanda Doughty.

I’ve developed a chronic case of clothes-trophobia; at 67, I thought I’d surrender to elasticated waistbands, flat orthopaedic footwear and cosy thermal underwear.

But no. Thanks to all those celebrities who insist on defying their age, I’d be accused of ‘letting myself go’. I should be Instagramming nude photos of myself like 56-year-old Catherine Zeta Jones, a gift she gave hubby Michael Douglas for his 80th birthday.

I should be hitting the red carpet in a knicker-less, near-naked frock held together by a few flimsy ribbons – Jennifer Lopez’s break-up revenge on Ben Affleck. (That’s a nice dress you’re almost wearing, J. Lo.)

Picture Amanda Holden’s pert posterior, Michelle Obama’s chiselled biceps, Liz Hurley’s buoyant boobs, Nicole Kidman’s serious pecs appeal – never has there been greater pressure on older women to keep looking ‘hot’.

The only reason I’m feeling ‘hot’ is because pulling on my torturously tight body-con dress proved so strenuous, I overstrained my groin and tore a calf muscle. Once I’d regained circulation in my lower limbs, I added a feather boa and vertiginous stilettos.

It was a look that didn’t quite come off… but definitely gave the impression that it would later, for the clientele of a lap dancing club.

On the topic of sex, my best bedroom fantasy wear? A flannelette nightie.

But no. I’m also compelled to keep it ‘hot in the bedroom’. Well, I definitely worked up a sweat last night – only because contorting myself into a lacy black basque proved more complicated than advanced algebra.

It turned out to be even more challenging for my lover, later. It had so many flaps, loops, clips and elasticated panels, he needed an engineering degree to operate it. By the time he got the damn thing off, it was morning.

And with adverts for summer holidays everywhere already, I’m also even feeling anxious about being ‘beach-body ready’.

If Helen Mirren dared to bare in a bikini aged 63, then I can’t possibly sport a sturdy one-piece… Although without the aid of personal trainers, vegan chefs and weight-loss jabs, donning Liz Hurley’s gold bikini bottoms will surely just make me the butt of a joke?

Celebrity female perfection is so demoralising.

Will I still be Brazilian waxing and lifting dumbbells in the retirement home?

At what age can we reject the ‘Survival of the Sexiest’ mantra? Surely, the only requirement you should make of your attire is that it’s comfy and flame-retardant? Stand too close to a flame and my fluffy diaphanous teddy will give a very literal meaning to a ‘hot’ outfit.

Well, enough already! From now on, it’s the best slippers, trackies and kaftan-type tent dresses baggy enough to slip over a small island.

Oh no! I hear you say. What a turn-off! Yes, it’s true women often dress to attract a mate. But to be noticed by the male of the species, I’m sure a gal need only wear two things – her heart on her sleeve and beer-flavoured lip gloss.

Kathy Lette writes her amusing columns on all sorts of topics, from faking orgasms to camaraderie at divorce parties to going makeup-free and why it's easier to be a man. A new column is published in woman&home magazine every month.

Sitting on the bus the other day, I overheard a conversation between two women. They were discussing a female friend of theirs who had died suddenly from a heart attack. "Such a shock!" one of them declared. "How could that happen? She was always so slim, not an ounce of fat on her."

In today’s body-and-diet-obsessed world, slim is often viewed as the aim, the target, the holy grail of happiness. But is slimness or leanness also an indicator of being in good physical health?

I’m not going to beat around the bush, being overweight or obese can have a serious impact on health, for sure. The World Health Organization (WHO) says, "carrying extra fat leads to serious health consequences, such as cardiovascular disease (mainly heart disease and stroke), type 2 diabetes, musculoskeletal disorders, such as osteoarthritis, and some cancers."

It goes on to say that this "can cause premature death and substantial disability." Sobering thought, eh?

So, can we assume that all slim people have got it good? That they have the right to be complacent?

Being slim is not the be-all and end-all

Let’s select one of our fictional friends. Janet is slim and has no medical issues to speak of (or that she knows of). Her job involves sitting at a desk for much of the day, punctuated by visits to the snack machine.

She lives alone and doesn’t like cooking, so she stocks up with ready meals. Janet avoids vegetables, especially green ones, and has a raging sweet tooth, which she succumbs to each evening with an astonishing assortment of confectionery.

Janet feels lucky that she can ‘eat what she likes’ and concurs that, as she’s not putting on weight, all must be fine and dandy. On the outside, maybe, yes.

'Skinny fat' is a real issue

The problem is that Janet views her current size 10 fit as the only measure of good health that’s worth paying attention to. Neither she (nor we) have any idea when her poor diet and lack of exercise will come to bite her in the rear end – but it’s likely it will. She may be 'skinny fat', which means she looks slim on the outside, but actually carries a high proportion of body fat and low muscle mass.

The WHO says that deaths from non-communicable diseases (mainly heart and lung diseases, cancers and diabetes) now total an estimated 43 million worldwide, annually. And 18 million of those are premature deaths (below the age of 70).

The major risk factors are – you listening, Janet? – physical inactivity, unhealthy diet, tobacco use and harmful use of alcohol. It pays for us all to be thinking beyond simply what our bodies look like.

How to stop being skinny fat

What really is physical health? It’s a state of wellbeing when all our internal and external body parts, organs, tissues and cells can function as they’re supposed to. To reach that bar, we must nourish our body, with healthy dinner ideas and snacks that nourish us.

We need enough micronutrients (vitamins and minerals) and macronutrients (carbohydrates, protein and fat), so that we can manufacture hormones (those vital chemical messengers), build muscle, protect bones, joints and teeth, help our gut microbiome flourish, boost our immunity and keep cholesterol down.

Then we must top it all off with regular, restful sleep and, at the very least, 30 minutes of moderately intense exercise per day. That is good health.

One thing we can all do – whether you currently err on the slimmer or larger side – is exercises to improve your strength, balance and overall fitness, such as strength training for women. You should also learn how to relieve aching joints, so that these don't stop you in your tracks too young.

The three moves I demonstrate below with my best dumbbells and best thick yoga mat will help to strengthen your glutes, which will bring so many benefits to your overall fitness.

3 Moves to a Stronger Bottom

Three muscles make up our glutes, and training them brings power to our lower body and support to the lower back.

Make your body work for you. The denser your muscle, the more calories it will burn. Think strong not skinny.

Do 15 reps of each exercise below and repeat them three times in one session.

1. Romanian deadlift

From a standing position, hold your dumbbells in front. Slowly bend forward, lifting your pelvis up and pinning your shoulders back, as you lower the weights down in front of your shins. Pause. Snap back to standing while squeezing your glutes.

2. Squat

With your weights, stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder width and lower your hips towards the floor. Drive your heels into the floor and return to standing position. Be sure not to let your knees go beyond the toes.

3. Curtsy lunge

Finally, standing with weights at shoulder level, take a step back and across, lowering your knee towards the floor, like you're doing a curtsy. Keep your chest and front foot facing forward, and your body upright. Repeat on the other leg.

As the Princess of Wales looks forward to her Christmas carol concert next week (on Friday 5 December), it kicks off the royal festive season in style.

She is heavily involved in organising, curating and inviting all the participants. A couple of years ago, she delighted us all with her amazing piano playing. It’s the fifth time she’s hosted it at Westminster Abbey, and it’s become a real royal staple.

I also think it’s an important sign of how she wants to operate when she is Queen. Celebrating community, cohesion and connection - and all those who contribute to that.

One of the things I love most about Kate’s event is that there are 15 ‘Together at Christmas’ carol concerts being held across the UK, so as many people as possible can take part.

The theme this year is love in all its many forms (there are at least six different types in Ancient Greek and two of my faves are agape, which has come to mean unconditional love or charity, and xenia, kindness to strangers).

The Abbey will look beautiful inside and out, thanks to Jamie Butterworth’s festive greenery (he created Monty Don’s RHS Chelsea Dog Garden this year), which highlights how important nature has been to Kate’s recovery from cancer.

This year has seen the Princess take a slow and considered return to work, and I think the policy has really paid off.

Another mini first for the Princess was her return to black tie events with last week’s Royal Variety Performance (shown on ITV next month).

She looked dazzling in a deep green velvet evening gown by Talbot Runhof (a new-to-Kate designer) with the late Queen’s chandelier diamond earrings and Cartier bracelet.

It was only in January that she revealed she was in remission from cancer, saying she remained focused on her recovery.

‘As anyone who has experienced a cancer diagnosis will know, it takes time to adjust to a new normal’.

Her new normal included prioritising family life and getting outdoors, above everything. Whether she could attend engagements would depend on how she felt on the day.

Her no-show at Royal Ascot in June caused some alarm, but when every picture is scrutinised, every movement poured over and clothes-choice analysed on a highly critical worldwide basis from social media, wouldn’t you be cautious? It is a pressure very few of us understand.

Helping to plant a garden at a cancer centre, and meeting fellow patients, the Princess was heard to explain the mental and physical side effects she had experienced, and what a challenge it had been to get back to anything resembling normal.

‘You think the treatment has finished, and you can crack on and get back to normal, but that’s still a real challenge,’ she said.

‘Sometimes from the outside we all think you’ve finished treatment and you go back to things. But it’s hard to get back to normal.’

Her carol concert, attended by Prince William, Prince George, 12, Princess Charlotte, 10, and Prince Louis, seven, serves to highlight how she is balancing her family life with royal duties.

Next week also sees the German State Visit, the first to the UK for 27 years, when President Frank-Walter Steinheimer will be wined and dined at a glittering Windsor Castle.

Expect more tiaras, which I’ll cover in the next installment!

Today marks one month until Christmas Day, and with the excitement and nostalgia for the season building, the anxiety about hosting friends and family can also begin to bubble up.

Following expert Christmas hosting tips and preparing your home and pantry well in advance of your guests' arrival can certainly help you to feel more in control and on top of things, alleviating some tension. But how can you prepare for the guest that tends to overstay their welcome, expecting to be waited on rather than being a good guest and offering to help?

The reader who wrote to me in this edition of my column was already feeling worried about her sister-in-law's pending Christmas visit – not least because she's invited herself to stay for even longer than usual. Here's how I advise handling these situations with grace...

The overstaying guest

The reader says, "Last year, my husband’s sister spent four days at our house over Christmas, but this year, she’s suggesting she stays almost double that time. She has already looked into treating us to panto tickets and a concert as a thank you, which is kind but makes me feel obliged to say yes.

"She lives 200 miles away and we are hosting, so it makes sense, but she doesn’t help out much, so I feel like a skivvy. Plus she talks non-stop and my husband tends to disappear on errands, so I’m stuck with her.

"How can I diplomatically limit her to four days again? Our son is going to his in-laws this Christmas, so I can’t use him as an excuse."

Sister-in-law relationships can be tricky

Ah, the dreaded sister-in-law. The relationship that rarely gets the airtime it deserves, yet one that can stir up all sorts of complicated feelings.

Unlike a friend, you didn’t choose her. Unlike a sister, you don’t have the history (or love) that allows for blunt honesty.

And yet she arrives, bags in hand, ready to dominate your festive bubble and recreate old family dynamics that you never asked for in the first place. It can be wonderful, for sure – or as you’ve discovered, utterly exhausting.

Your dilemma is actually quite common, and one that I can identify with personally. Not because I don’t like my sisters-in-law – but because I’m probably the sister who stays too long and talks too much!

Research from Relate suggests that in-law tensions are one of the biggest sources of stress in marriage, particularly around Christmas, when expectations run too high and boundaries start to blur.

You’re not being unreasonable for wanting to protect your energy. Four days of full-on banter, with you skivvying while your husband ‘pops out for milk’ yet again, is enough for anyone.

The trick is to find a way of limiting her stay without turning yourself into the bad guy.

Set boundaries now

The first step is to remind yourself that setting boundaries is not the same as rejecting her. It’s simply acknowledging your limits. Think of it like portion control: just as you wouldn’t eat the entire tub of Quality Street in one sitting, you don’t need to gorge on eight days of hosting when four will leave everyone feeling less sick.

Remember the classic adage? Friends, fish and family — they all go off after three days.

So, how to do it diplomatically? Start by being proactive rather than reactive. Drop her an enthusiastic message now. Tell her how much you’re looking forward to having her again, but that you and your husband have decided this year to keep Christmas a little less hectic.

People are surprisingly understanding when you frame it as self-care rather than rejection. The trick is to be inclusive, so try something like, ‘We’d love to have you from the 23rd to the 27th again – it worked really well last year.’

It sets the boundary, and gives you control, while still being kind. By proposing specific dates, you close the door on the marathon visit without needing an elaborate excuse.

Get your husband to help

I’d also suggest that you recruit your husband more actively too. This is his sister, after all, and it’s not fair that you’re left carrying the load.

So, have a word with him now before she arrives and agree on a shared ‘hosting plan’ to divvy up the Christmas jobs so you’re not stuck making small talk and doing all the washing-up while he dodges all the responsibility.

The bottom line is this: Christmas is meant to be a season of goodwill, not martyrdom.

A short, joyful stay from your sister-in-law is far better than a long, resentful one. So by setting loving but firm limits now, you’ll actually preserve your relationship – as well as your sanity.

Anna advises our readers on relationship issues of all sorts, such as friends who make everything about them, worries about a daughter's relationship, addressing health concerns for a loved one and navigating an empty nest, with a new Ask Anna column published in woman&home magazine every month.

If you would like help with a problem, email askanna@futurenet.com or leave a voice note at hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk and mention you’re a woman&home reader. Note that Anna may choose your dilemma to discuss on her podcast, It Can't Just Be Me.

Red light therapy is booming. Previously reserved for in-clinic treatments, there are now plenty of at-home options. It’s become strangely normal to see pictures of people peering out from beneath them in your evening Instagram scroll.

The best LED masks can make a huge difference to your skin, but they’re also expensive, bulky, and - let’s be honest - creepy-looking. As a light therapy superfan, I’m asked Do LED face masks work?’ almost every day (the answer is yes), but from these conversations, I’ve noticed there are a lot of misconceptions.

I’m concerned that some people are feeling pressured to use them - they are a brilliant way of supercharging your skincare routine, but that doesn’t mean you have to buy one. The best red light therapy devices are a huge investment of your money, time, and shelf space - so if you’re buying one, you want to make sure it’s the right decision. And I, for one, would like to help you make that decision.

Today's best LED mask deals

1. The results aren't instant

You’ve spent hundreds of pounds, strapped yourself in, endured jokes and confused glances from your loved-ones, looked in the mirror and noticed…nothing. I get it - I’m incredibly impatient, and I’m even more insufferable when I’ve spent a lot of money on something. If you know how to use an LED mask, you’ll know that it’ll take a few weeks to notice a difference in your skin, but when you do, you’ll really see it. Be patient. It’s not a quick fix; it’s a long-term investment in your skin.

2. Don't buy one if you can't commit to using it

These masks essentially cost the same as a minibreak - don’t waste your money if it’s going to go unused. I’m a serial gadget-ignorer. I see the fancy new thing, I take it home, use it twice, then it becomes completely invisible to me. This is worsened when something doesn’t give me instant results - I'm less incentivised to use it if I don’t get that little kick of dopamine.

The reason I stuck to LED for so long is that I was testing it for the woman&home Home Beauty Awards. It was literally my job to stick with it - I’m not sure I would have otherwise. Obviously, I’m glad I was forced to see it through. The discovery of this technology has transformed my skin - but I implore you not to buy one if it’s going to sit in your cupboard gathering dust. A pro tip - I keep mine somewhere visible (under my coffee table, so I get a visual cue when I'm on the sofa), so I remember to use it more often.

3. Pick one that slots into your schedule

I can use an LED face mask every day, but this is because I have one with a short programme - just three minutes. Timings vary from 3-30 minutes, so you must pick the LED mask that’s most likely to fit into your routine, so you use it more often.

Red light therapy benefits are cumulative - the more you use it, the better your results will be, so picking a mask that won’t feel like a drain on your time will make the habit easier to form. Other aspects, like whether the tool can be worn walking around hands-free, will also make them easier to slot into your day. Some masks require you to wear goggles, which requires serious dedication - although I'm sure some people would love an excuse to silently bask in red light without any other distractions. It'd be like a mini anti-sensory chamber.

4. Don't buy the cheapest model

This is not to say that cheaper products aren’t good - I have a whole cupboard of skincare that costs under a tenner that proves otherwise - but when it comes to relatively new tech, basing your decision purely on price probably won’t get the results you were hoping for.

Picking the best model, or the one you really want, will also entice you to use it more often. I’ve learned from buying the £50 pair of boots when I really wanted the £100 ones - it won’t quite scratch the itch, and you’ll still yearn for the one you wanted in the first place. If you're already spending a good chunk of money, you might as well spend that little bit extra, if you can, to get the very best option.

5. Pick a mask with the right benefits for you

Picking the right LED mask comes down to red light VS blue light therapy. Masks with red and infrared light therapy will help stimulate collagen production and strengthen skin, helping your complexion look firmer and more plump. Blue light therapy treats blemishes, so if you struggle with acne or hormonal chin visitors (as I do), pick a mask that has settings for both.

6. It'll pay for itself within a week

I hope I’m not coming across as too bossy and negative here - like I said, I’m the world’s loudest LED superfan - I do think you should buy one, but only if you can comfortably afford it and are confident you'll actually use it.

If you’re looking for a justification apart from the obvious ones (it transforms skin! It’s proven, scientifically-backed technology! It’s easy to use and will never harm or irritate!), It’s that it’ll pay for itself after around five uses. LED technology was previously only reserved for in-clinic treatments, costing around £100 a go. If you use your mask more than five times, it’s paid for itself. You're welcome.

It's a question we've all asked our friends: should you voice concerns over someone's choice of partner, or leave them to lie in the bed they've made for themselves?

This dilemma can feel tough enough when you're concerned about someone your friend is dating, but if it's your child? Ouch, biting your tongue on that one must really sting.

So we come to our reader's dilemma in this column, which I can offer my personal experience and professional advice on.

To speak up, or not?

Our reader's dilemma, in her words, is: "My daughter hasn’t had many boyfriends and has always ended up being the one rejected.

"She’s been seeing a lad for a couple of years now and, although he’s not who I would have chosen for her, they seem to get along.

"They moved in together six months ago, and as she’s 30, I know she’s thinking about babies. I’m trying to be open-minded but his family background is quite dysfunctional, he suffers from depression now and then, and I’m afraid for their future with the strain of having children.

"I’m torn between knowing she’s an adult and I shouldn’t interfere, but also feeling that I should share my concern. Of course, it might all go better than my fears suggest – I just want them to be happy. Do you think I should I say something?"

In my experience...

Let me tell you about a young woman I knew who got involved with a guy who was completely unsuitable for her. He was a performer who toured with a rotating door of female fans hanging on his every word and played in dingy dives that looked like crime scenes.

But, boy, was he hot… and for a while, it looked like they were in love.

He had a dysfunctional background, she came from a fractured family, they both had periods where they struggled with anxiety and depression, but they had an understanding – a bond – and despite all the warnings from friends and family, she still pursued him, convinced that she could make it work.

Until it didn’t. Her heart broke, she yearned and she fawned, but eventually she was able to move on. And now she looks back and thinks, ‘Thank God that didn’t work out…’

I know this because that young woman was me – and the lessons I’ve learnt from that period of my life have been invaluable, in spite of the people who love me trying to stop me.

Steady the path she's on

So, first things first. I hear the love and protection in every word you’ve written. You’re not judging your daughter for the sake of it – you’re anxious about her future and wondering whether it will hold joy or pain. That’s completely natural.

And as a mum, even though your baby girl is 30, you still want to wrap her up in bubble wrap and say, ’Don’t go there. It might hurt.’

But here’s the truth. She has already gone there. She has chosen this relationship, with all its complexities, and she’s living that choice.

Which means that your job, if I may gently suggest, isn’t to steer her away from it – it’s to steady the path she is already on.

Addressing the boyfriend's mental health challenges

You mention that her boyfriend suffers from depression and has a difficult family background.

But then let me ask you, how many families do you know that are perfect? Where there’s no conflict? No difficulty? I don’t know any.

Remember, dysfunction doesn’t necessarily breed dysfunction. Many people rise beautifully from chaotic roots, and mental health challenges don’t mean someone can’t be a loving, stable partner or parent.

The key is how those challenges are being managed. Is he getting help? Are they able to talk honestly? Are they building resilience together?

Plant seeds of experience

Sharing your concern is normal. But, instead of voicing your fears to her head-on (which might sound like criticism), just consider her perspective first and approach the conversation from that point of view.

You want her to open up, not shut down completely. And if you’re truly worried about the future strain of parenthood, then gently plant seeds of experience, not doubts.

Encourage them to explore counselling together or have conversations about support systems before they take the leap. Not because you don’t trust them – but because you do.

Anna advises our readers on relationship issues of all sorts, from friends who make everything about them, to disputes with neighbours, to managing a sulky colleague, to addressing health concerns for a loved one to navigating an empty nest and wondering if a husband is having a kinky midlife crisis, with a new Ask Anna column published in woman&home magazine every month.

If you would like help with a problem, email askanna@futurenet.com or leave a voice note at hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk and mention you’re a woman&home reader. Note that Anna may choose your dilemma to discuss on her podcast, It Can't Just Be Me.

Traditionally, now is a time for people to pick up the reins of their fitness regime and head into autumn/winter with new goals, challenges and plans.

If you started yours back in August and went for it in a no-holds-barred kind of way, now might be a time when your body is reminding you of a few weaknesses – you may have niggles, aches and tender bits that you could really do without.

They’re holding you back, sending your motivation plummeting and generally making you feel a bit ‘meh’. I’d like to help.

As someone who exercises regularly (and I confess I do like to push myself), I have had my fair share of ‘oohs’, ‘aahs’ and twinges, so I know a thing or two about injuries and how to fix them.

It will take dedication and a few crucial-but-deadly-dull exercises to do each day, but if you are consistent in your effort, then it will pay off.

After all, our bodies were designed to move. The more movement we do, the less likely we are to seize up. Movement is medicine.

Knee pain

Usually, your first experiences are likely to be common injuries, so a good initial step is to consult the internet oracle.

For example, if you type in ‘knee pain when running’, I pretty much guarantee it will come up with runner’s knee, and suggest some knee exercises.

There’s a fascia (connective tissue that surrounds muscle) running down the outside of our thighs called the Iliotibial Band (IT band for short), which connects the hip and knee. If the glutes are weak, then the IT band takes too much of the load, it gets tight, gets shorter and creates a pulling sensation in the outside knee area.

The solution is to strengthen glutes and massage the muscle at the top of the IT band, about one inch outside of your hip bone – do this with a tennis ball, lying on your side. You’ll whimper and your eyes will water, but it is so worth it.

Aching hips

The hips have a fair old task – they provide stability and balance to the upper body, act as shock absorbers and assist with lower body movement.

Here are three stretches to ease discomfort:

1. First up, try a butterfly pose. Sit on the floor (or cushion if it’s more comfortable). Straighten the spine, place soles of your feet together and push the knees outwards.

Hold for 30 seconds. This stretches the inner thigh and opens the hips.

2. Next, it’s a hip flexor stretch. To stretch the right hip, get into position as pictured. Tuck the pelvis under, tensing the right glute. Feel the hip flexor at the front of the right hip elongate.

Hold for 30 seconds. Repeat on the other side.

3. Finally, a pigeon stretch – for the whole hip. Lie on the floor, left leg bent underneath you. Extend the right leg behind and lean forward from the hip. Go down on to forearms for extra intensity.

Hold for 30 seconds and repeat on the other side.

Shin pain

Shin pain is another common complaint, which can lead to shin splints.

There are plenty of exercises that stretch the calves and strengthen the shin muscles (tibialis anterior), such as these 7 stretches for runners, so do them – and do them with bells on.

Avoid any exercise that causes pain to the shin, so it may mean more cycling or swimming for a while, or complete rest altogether.

Sore lower back

If you've been suffering from lower back pain, here are three exercises to help strengthen and ease it.

1. First up, a spine curl. Lie on your back, knees bent, feet flat on floor and heels tucked under knees. Tilt pelvis gently and slowly peel your spine off the floor, pushing through your heels.

Return to the start. Repeat 5-8 times.

2. Next, dead bugs. Again on your back, start with arms above chest and shins parallel to floor. As you exhale, slowly extend opposite arm and leg, and aim to flatten navel to floor.

Pause. Return to start. Repeat eight times.

3. Finally, a half plank. Get into the position shown, ensuring hips are level with shoulders and elbows are under shoulders. Keep effort in the core.

Stay still and aim to hold for 20 seconds. Progress to taking knees off floor!

Stiff feet and plantar fasciitis

The foot is a complex structure of 26 bones, 33 joints and over 100 muscles, ligaments and tendons. Plantar fasciitis is a common issue, often caused by doing too much too soon or wearing flip-flops over the summer.

The ligaments running along the sole of the foot become tender and tight and, wow, it hurts like hell. Simple exercises, a night-time splint and a whole lot of patience can get you through it.

If your feet feel stiff when walking, try these three easy moves to help keep them in good shape.

1. Stand in bare feet on your best thick yoga mat and pedal each foot alternately, ensuring you press through the ball of the foot. Do 20 reps slowly in total.

2. Flex and point each foot 10-20 times every day to help keep ligaments supple, preventing plantar fasciitis.

If you need to, you can also do this sitting down.

3. Stand on one leg. This encourages the supporting foot to grip more and also improves balance and core strength. Hold for 20-30 seconds, three times on each leg.

Stretch regularly

If you’re like me, stretching will be the thing that falls off the bottom of your to-do list. So let’s plan to stretch or massage a different body part every day for a week, then repeat throughout the month.

Quads Monday, hamstrings Tuesday, chest Wednesday, calves and shoulders Thursday, hips and glutes Friday, feet Saturday and back/spine Sunday. Just 10 mins daily.

Seek professional help if needed

All these tips are designed for home rehab. If nothing is improving, find a good physiotherapist or chiropractor to help with your recovery.

Recommendation is everything, so ask around your friends whose sore knee/ shoulder/ hip/ back has been miraculously cured and give their person a visit.

Make sure you leave each appointment with a clear idea of the issues you’re experiencing, what it will take to recover and a list of moves you can continue to do to help you become pain-free more quickly.

Ask for diagrams, or links to videos to ensure you get the right technique, and whatever routine they recommend you do at home, try and stick to it, however dull.

Annie Deadman is a fitness expert who writes a monthly Fitness Guru column for woman&home magazine. There's no health and fitness topic she won't tackle – from how to enjoy the benefits of caffeine and why you might want to go sober for a month to how to lose a menopause tummy, how to boost energy, and to how to love your legs in shorts.

Do I really need to know the correct way to address a marquis or which fork to use for the fish? People who worry about using the wrong fork can fork off.

The matters that matter most nowadays are more to do with mobile phone usage, as in, not talking to someone on it while a red-blooded, fully vocalising human is sitting right in front of you waiting for a real-life chinwag [that's called 'phubbing', by the way].

We clearly need an etiquette update...

My Lette-quette list

1. Be flexible about food

Top of the list would be to keep your food preferences to yourself. I was hosting a dinner party recently and asked guests if they had any dietary requirements. By the time I’d taken into account the pescatarians, vegans, anti-dairy and non-carb cultists, all I could safely serve the group was a bowl of skimmed unicorn breath.

In short, when asked "Is there anything you can’t stomach?" the only acceptable answer is "Yes, Trump."

2. Keep gossip to yourself

Gossip is another way to find yourself exiled into social Siberia. It’s so tempting to indulge, but most of us are hopeless at it.

So many times I’ve divulged a juicy bit of tittle-tattle then realised, by the mortified look on the recipient’s face, that the story is actually about them. Gulp!

3. Be considerate in the car

Car-related discourtesies drive us mad too. Never hurry, honk or even look at someone attempting to parallel park. Executing this high-risk manoeuvre requires the precision of an Olympic gymnast and the intuition of a homing pigeon.

If in the passenger seat, it is even more imperative that you say nothing, or face being flung on to the road and run over repeatedly like an inconvenient speed bump.

And parking your SUV city-tank where two cars could easily fit is not just peak entitlement but very bad car-ma.

4. Keep calls to yourself

Talking loudly on your phone while on public transport breaks all good conduct codes.

Mouthing off on speakerphone is doubly irksome, as fellow passengers are then forced to find out just how inane, boring or bitchy all your friends are too.

Other lip-pursing no-nos? Pushing on to the train before alighting commuters have had a chance to get off; secretly sneaking an episode of a TV series you’re supposed to be watching with your partner; asking a teenager what they want to be when they grow up. "Why?" they’ll simply retort, "Looking for some ideas?"

There are just so many potential gaffs waiting to trip us up.

But I suppose the worst faux pas of all is to foist your behavioural tips on to others. Is there anything ruder than telling people they’re rude? Let alone pontificating in a magazine about it. Bloody cheek!

Yep. Etiquette can be very bad-mannered indeed.

Kathy Lette writes her amusing columns on all sorts of topics, from faking orgasms to camaraderie at divorce parties to going makeup-free, avoiding DIY and why it's easier to be a man. A new column is published in woman&home magazine every month.

Hey beauty friends, and happy Friday afternoon. It feels like the busiest season is well and truly here, with festive events already ramping up, autumn hangouts filling the diary and workdays spanning most of the daylight hours.

And during busy seasons like this, I try and do anything I can to make my naturally high-maintenance hair as low-maintenance as possible. For me, that usually means cracking out my best straighteners on hair wash day, and then picking up some curls, kinks and waves through the week's sleeps and updos for a bit of movement.

But when the new Dyson Airwrap came along that boasts double the air pressure and refreshed attachments, it finally gave me an easy way to do a wavy at-home blow-dry that would look healthy and glossy and last all week - even on my frizzy hair type.

The extra-powerful Dyson Airwrap tool I'm using on repeat this month

The new Dyson Airwrap has made my high-maintenance hair routine so much smoother, and it's done the same for my hair...

Dyson Airwrap Co-Anda 2x™ Multi-Styler and Dryer

Until next month, beauties...

I expect you’re reading this with a little trepidation. Perhaps you’re thinking I’m going to suggest we beat ourselves with the holistic stick and stop our caffeine intake in its tracks. How could I? [slurps coffee], that’s unnecessary... and cruel!

But let's pledge to improve the quality of the blood running through our veins. We can aim to do this by exercising and eating mainly nourishing whole foods punctuated by moderate amounts of what we fancy.

If you're wondering how much caffeine is too much, the same applies to caffeine as it does to our favourite red wine, those chocolate-covered mini bites from M&S and our must-have crisps. Nothing is banned. They’re there to be savoured, just not all the time. So, while trying Sober October could help you to feel healthier and reduce your waistline, I'm not going to advise you give up coffee. Phew!

Caffeine has some benefits

Let’s have a closer look at caffeine. A mug of brewed coffee contains an average of 110mg of caffeine, a cup of instant coffee about 60-70mg and a cup of standard tea around 75mg. Official guidance is that up to 400mg caffeine per day is considered a safe level for most adults (halve that for pregnant women), but everyone’s tolerance levels are different.

Indeed, The British Heart Foundation says that a moderate amount (four or five cups a day) of coffee and tea should not be detrimental to heart health, and that there is actually a link between caffeine and living longer, although more research needs to be done.

So, exactly how does it put a spring in our step? Caffeine is absorbed into the body via the gastrointestinal tract and up into the brain, where the release of cortisol and adrenaline steps up, and we become focused and alert.

In terms of energy, concentration, motivation and getting things done, a shot of caffeine is good for a little shove.

Obviously, the effects we feel after drinking caffeine will depend on our own tolerance levels. For some, mornings are unthinkable without a fresh coffee, and these people claim it brings with it a welcome jolt.

Personally, I haven’t quite decided if it’s the caffeine, the early dose of heat or just the creaminess of the oat milk (try the barista version, it’s a game changer) that makes me spring into life at 5.30am, ready to train clients.

For others, though, it simply brings on feelings of anxiety, palpitations, migraines and disturbed sleep.

How to make tea and coffee 'healthier'

As well as moderating your intake of caffeinated drinks, check how you take your beverage. To keep it benefiting your health, rather than robbing you of it, check its sugar and fat content. The type of milk, how much sugar you have, the use of syrups and flavourings, the biscuits that must go with it... these can all increase cholesterol and calories.

And of course, pay attention to whether your body can take it. Tossing and turning all night, then ignoring the hand tremors, dizziness and headaches while you’re necking back 10-15 cups a day may only result in something more serious.

Lack of sleep affects so many other areas of our life (relationships, productiveness at work, and weight-loss success), so don’t push it. Swap to decaffeinated coffee and find a herbal hot drink you like (like mint tea) to see if you feel better – even if that's just a swap in the afternoon.

Finally, put that caffeine-related energy to good use by striding for a 30-minute walk while listening to your favourite book through your exercise headphones. You’ll feel so energised and positive!

3 yoga moves to lift brain fog

If you, like many people, turn to your coffee habit as a way of helping to clear brain fog, why not try giving these beginner-friendly yoga stretches a try instead.

1. Cobra pose

Lie flat on your front. Place your hands next to your chest with your elbows in. Push through the heels of your hands and lift your chest up. Drop your shoulders down and push your ribcage forwards. Breathe and hold for a few seconds.

Repeat five times.

2. Child's pose

Then, push yourself into child’s pose. With your toes touching, open your knees wide and sit back into the pelvis. Lie your forehead on your best thick yoga mat and walk your fingers forwards.

Hold once for 20-30 seconds. This stretches your upper body and pelvic muscles.

3. Downward-facing dog

From all fours, lift your hips up and press your heels down. Aim your chest towards your thighs and hold for five seconds.

Return to all fours and repeat five times. This stretches the whole back of your body and works the core.

Minimalism is all very well, but bolder footwear is better – and colourful trainers look great with a monochrome outfit, providing the best of both worlds.

From Anita Rani’s multi-coloured leopard print trainers to Jennifer Garner's versatile blue running shoes, and Kirstie Allsopp's sunny yellow trainers… It’s official, snazzy sneakers are ‘in’ with celebrities and street style followers alike.

And, much as I like the classic look of wearing my best white trainers, I’ve moved over to the bright side to embrace this 2025 trainer trend.

As a comfy-shoe lover and long-term sneaker freak, it’s brilliant to see so many women running around town – if not actually running – in dopamine-inducing trainers.

Spoilt for choice

And, the good news is you don’t have to pay designer prices. I’ve always been a label purist when it comes to trainer shopping, and all the sportswear brands sell snazzy sneakers. Not to mention the many years of research to determine the best biomechanical engineering and optimal design.

Labels like adidas, Nike, New Balance, Gola and Puma have lots of brilliant styles that look just as good today as they did in the 1970s.

Hi-vis sneakers are a quick and easy way to give a relaxed spin to classic tailoring. They look ace with the essential midi dress and give slouchy jeans an insouciant touch.

Bright footwear also allows you to try an unexpected colour clash.

This year, I’ve been trying to walk 10,000 steps a day, and it’s lots more fun if you’re wearing a pair of ‘showbiz’ trainers.

Shop colourful trainers

Don’t dismiss 'dad trainers'

Some of the popular retro trainer styles are very flat, so if you need more support, try Holly Willoughby and Sienna Miller’s favourite trainer brand, Hoff.

Alternatively, the Royal College of Podiatry endorsed 10 Hoka styles. Read our health editor's reviews of the Hoka Bondi 9 running shoe and Hoka Speedgoat 6 walking shoe.

I’m currently walking everywhere in Salomon XT-6 trainers with an OrthoLite insole, and in my Hoff trainers [now sold out; try these instead] in the photo above. My feet have never been so happy.

Take the high-low approach

Create a high-low look by combining the casual aesthetic of sneakers with formal tailoring. Sneakers give sharper pieces a nonchalant look. And wearing chunky trainers with wide-leg or boot-cut trousers offsets their oversized shape.

Tapered twill trousers, cargo pants and sporty joggers work well too – but it’s best to keep your top half tailored.

This reader letter is quietly moving, as it comes from a woman going through an experience that may be familiar to many of us, but that none of us would wish on our worst enemy: a battle with cancer.

She acknowledges that she's lucky to have a support network, which I hope lends her the comfort she needs. The power of female friendship is not to be underestimated. However, one friend isn't supporting her in the way that she needs right now.

Here, I give my advice on understanding where the friend is coming from, and how to try to encourage her to listen to our reader.

Too much empathy?

Our reader wrote, "I have recently been diagnosed with cancer. It came as a shock, but I am lucky to have support.

"However, I am having an issue with one of my friends.

"She has previously had cancer and is in remission. Every time I tell her about what I’m going through, she turns the topic to what she went through, and I feel invalidated. How should I handle this?"

Your cancer experience is unique to you

First, thank you for getting in touch and sharing such a personal dilemma in such a public way. What you’re going through will resonate with so many people.

Second, I’m truly sorry about your diagnosis. Receiving news that you have cancer is a life-altering experience, however prepared you may be. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling sensitive, especially when it comes to the way others are responding to you.

I’m relieved to hear that you have a support system too, even though one of your friends, despite having gone through this herself, isn’t offering you the kind of support you need.

A natural response here is to tut, roll my eyes and say, ‘Ah! I know how you feel,’ and regale you with situations where I’ve shared my latest shock, health fears or heartache with a pal. But I’m not going to do that. Because I don’t know how you feel. And I don’t know how your friend feels. I can only imagine.

Cancer Research UK has an excellent website with top tips from patients that advise people to say, ‘I can only imagine what you’re going through,’ when discussing cancer with someone else.

Every person has a different experience and that goes for you, your friend and the 3.5 million other people living with cancer in the UK.

Your friend thinks she's helping

Before I advise you, it’s important to recognise that everyone comes with their own ‘story’ – all of us view our life through our own personal reality tunnel.

Yes, your pal may be coming across as being insensitive, but I imagine she’d be appalled to think she’s invalidating what you’re going through.

By being kind, supportive and lending you the benefit of a survivor’s journey, she may be reasoning that her solidarity is helping you through your treatment.

It may also be a coping mechanism for her – she might still carry trauma from her own cancer battle, and by talking about it is reassuring herself she’s come through the other side.

That doesn’t mean you have to accept it, but understanding where she might be coming from could help you approach the conversation with compassion rather than frustration.

Try to steer focus to what you need

However, the focus now is on you and what you need to get through what lies ahead. You could try to change the dynamic of the conversation in a non-confrontational way.

Let her know you admire her, that you recognise how difficult her own journey was, but that you’re in a different place and you need to talk about what’s happening to you instead. This signals you value her support, while setting a clear boundary.

If you sense that she isn’t receptive, or that she continues to dominate conversations, you might have to reassess how much emotional space you give to this friendship during your treatment.

It doesn’t mean you need to cut her off, but you can choose to limit how much you discuss your illness with her.

The fact is that you deserve to be heard, supported and validated through one of the most challenging periods of your life.

Cancer is a deeply personal journey, and what you need most is the freedom to express your emotions without feeling overshadowed or compared to someone else’s past.

If she truly is a friend, then she will hear you. If not, then it’s perfectly OK to start prioritising other people who do.

Anna advises our readers on relationship issues of all sorts, from worries about your daughter's relationship to disputes with neighbours and wondering if a husband is having a kinky midlife crisis, with a new Ask Anna column published in woman&home magazine every month.

If you would like help with a problem, email askanna@futurenet.com or leave a voice note at hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk and mention you’re a woman&home reader. Note that Anna may choose your dilemma to discuss on her podcast, It Can't Just Be Me.

So, have you ever faked an orgasm? If you said no, are you faking that you never fake it? And if so, how can I tell? Of course, we all fake some things. A Wonderbra is so called because when you take it off, you wonder where the hell your breasts went.

And can you even remember your natural hair colour? Extensions, acrylic nails, fake tans, teeth, CVs, units of alcohol a week, eyelashes… I tried fake lashes once. Every time I blinked, it looked like tarantulas mating.

Talking of mating, every woman fakes how many men she’s slept with. ‘Of course I’m a virgin… I don’t know why you men keep asking the same silly question!’

And when it comes to keeping our HMS Relationships afloat, we gals regularly fake it.

For example, when our partner cooks an inedible dinner or gives us a hideous birthday present, our vocal appreciation would rival the theatrical enthusiasm of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally: ‘Ohhhh! Lovely!!!’

So, yes, it’s OK to feign some things. But listen in as I share some interesting fake news. Not a critique of a Trump press conference, but a Psychology Today report which reveals that nearly 60% of women have faked pleasure to please a partner or to hurry things along.

One of my girlfriends says that when she’s bored in bed, it’s just easier to ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’ and writhe about for a bit, then make a low moan and go limp.

But surely this ploy could seriously backfire. Impressed by his own virtuosic virility, a man’s just as likely to say, ‘Wow! I’m going to give you another seven of those!’ – and set back to work at the carnal coalface immediately.

Besides which, there’s little point in encouraging a partner in practices which are not going to get you anywhere. By anywhere, I mean the usual desired female destination of over the moon or into another orbit entirely.

There’s so much emphasis on women faking orgasms, but what about men faking foreplay? Hell, some blokes I know can fake a whole damn relationship.

It’s impossible to have an Academy Award-winning orgasm with no foreplay. Yet, while research reveals that we need at least 10 minutes of foreplay, most sexual encounters last between three and seven minutes. You don’t have to be Einstein to work out that this erotic calculation just can’t add up.

And there’s no reason why men shouldn’t be good at it. Most blokes are good with their hands. Fellas who are able to fashion a temporary cistern ball float with a squeezy bottle and a coat hanger in five minutes flat should be able to easily find a G-spot. Location! Location! Location!

Having sex when you’re not in the mood is like dancing with no music. But it’s so easy to get a woman in the mood. In fact, there’s a special sort of foreplay – and it’s called housework.

If a bloke helps with the shopping, mopping, kid-wrangling and cooking, there’ll be nothing fake about a female’s appreciation. All you’ll hear is ‘Yes! Yes! YESSSS!’ Satisfaction guaranteed.

Cast your mind back to the days of lockdown - queuing at the supermarket for your next batch of sourdough starter ingredients and relishing the thought of your allotted daily walk. For millions around the UK, no morning was complete without logging on to catch Joe Wicks' daily workout.

His message was simple: get moving for all the benefits that exercise has for the mind and body. Years later, he has millions of followers on social media and several fitness and nutrition programs to help those struggling to enjoy exercise and eat healthily.

But his latest message has us feeling more confused than motivated. Teaming up with Professor Chris van Tulleken, author of Ultra-Processed People, the personal trainer-turned-influencer has created 'the most dangerous health bar in Britain' to highlight the lack of government regulation around what foods can be marketed as 'healthy' and the dangers of a diet rich in ultra-processed foods (UPFs).

On one side, the 'killer' protein bar is bright, colourful, and lists the health claims. On the other side, it lists warnings that 'excessive consumption' may increase the risk of diarrhoea, cancer, stroke, and early death. It also has labels for sweeteners, sugar, and saturated fat.

Now, I understand where he's coming from. As woman&home's digital health editor, a lot of so-called 'healthy' foods and supplements come across my desk, and I've been shocked by what's actually in some of these boxes after seeing product claims. Just as a protein bar can imply it's a 'healthy' option by citing supposed health benefits like protein and fibre content, a magnesium supplement with half the amount required by the NHS can claim it'll help you sleep better. Marketing in this industry undoubtedly needs to change.

Equally, I agree that the fewer ultra-processed foods we eat, the better (I say as I crunch on a chocolate Digestive), as there's research to suggest links between UPF-heavy diets and the risk of developing heart, digestive, and circulatory diseases, as well as certain cancers.

But the reason I'm happily eating a chocolate biscuit (an ultra-processed food) as I write this, is the same reason why this stunt doesn't really work. I don't eat excessive amounts of them every day - and neither do most people who eat protein bars. When it comes to ultra-processed foods, it's important to remember that quantity matters.

To suggest that eating a protein bar - or any ultra-processed snack - will lead to 'cancer, stroke, and early death' feels like the same black and white nutrition marketing that Joe's aiming to combat. It's too simple and lacks nuance. Just as a protein bar is not the ideal option, it's also not a 'killer'.

"A diet nearly entirely made up of UPFs can contribute to health issues over time, but moderate amounts can absolutely have a place in a healthy diet," says registered nutritionist Jasmine Bliss.

"Food labelling is not the reason the NHS is under such strain and why so many people are suffering with lifestyle-related health issues, just as calorie labelling on menus isn't the magic bullet to address obesity," she says.

"Nutrition shouldn't make people feel worse about doing their best. We should be empowering people to make better choices with their means, not demonising them," she says.

Having originally recommended protein bars to subscribers of his 90 Day SSS (Shift, Sustain, Shape) plan and having collaborated with a protein powder brand in 2019, Joe knows that ultra-processed foods can be a worthwhile swap or supplement for some people. To vilify them completely only adds to the confusing nutrition advice we're bombarded with every day.

What is in the Joe Wicks Killer Protein Bar?

The bar was unveiled ahead of the Channel 4 documentary Joe Wicks: Licensed to Kill, which airs tonight and reveals the journey that Joe and Professor van Tulleken went on to create the protein bar.

On the website, it's revealed that the KILLER bar has 96 ingredients and is packed with "additives linked to cancer, stroke and even early death" and is "high in saturated fat, sugar, and calories".

"But with its 19g of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals and over 200 health and nutritional benefits, it also claims to be healthy, exposing the absurdity of our food labelling standards," it says.

Joe says he will stop selling the protein bars if the government tightens the laws around ultra-processed foods, "starting with black warning labels, like those already used across South America and Mexico".

"Only then will people be able to make informed decisions about the products they eat," he says.

The denim maxi skirt is in abundance this season, and it does look good with a cosy knit and a pair of elegant ankle boots. But let’s not skirt the issue... As a big fan of people watching, one thing I have noticed is the full-length denim pencil skirt is popular online and in the shops, but it’s not so visible out on the street. IRL.

Many women love dressing in denim trends and are partial to a maxi, but for those of us in search of faff-free fashion, this is definitely an item to try before you buy. Denim is restrictive. Likewise, narrow, full-length pencil skirts. Put the two together and you can forget running for a bus.

The older I get, the more I appreciate the importance of comfort. I’m not talking about elasticated waistbands and UGG boots, but clothes that fit well, feel good and work in real life. The items you pull on first thing in the morning and then forget about.

No one wants to spend the day dealing with a wardrobe malfunction. Trousers that are too short in the rise (tight in the crotch area) are quite literally a pain in the backside. While ill-fitting shoes and ancient bras are about as much use as a wonky shopping trolley (to pound-coin a phrase).

Shapes you can move in

In the early 20th century, the Parisian designer Paul Poiret created the ‘hobble skirt’. There’s a clue in the name... the full-length skirt narrowed below the knee, allowing the wearer to take only very small steps. Fine for the upper-class ladies of leisure, but the suffragettes and World War One turned this into a relatively short-lived fashion trend.

For improved walkability in the 21st century, swerve super-narrow denim maxis in favour of long, kick-flare skirts or midi styles.

Boden, Seasalt and Toast are all good for panelled midis and A-line designs, while Raey at Flannels had a fishtail denim maxi earlier this year that looked great for striding around town in – try this mermaid skirt from Levi's as a similar style.

Fickle trends are a palaver, so push them aside. Find a denim skirt you can walk in and then strut your stuff.

Shop long denim skirts

Tips for picking skirts you can walk in

If you don't want to sacrifice your comfort for style, this advice will help you get the best of both worlds.

1. Choose midi not maxi

Skirts ending just below the knee or midi length allow ease of movement. The A-line style is always chic.

Alternatively, look for panelled denim skirts that flare out at the hem, or button-front styles. All of these designs provide room for manoeuvre.

Add a pair of leather boots and you’re good to go.

2. For full-length, you’ll need the extra legroom

When it comes to maxis, the straight-up-and-down version that looks like an elongated, denim pencil skirt is guaranteed to make you hobble. (The classic, on-the-knee pencil can be tricky enough!)

Instead, look for circle skirts and designs with godets or pleats – the extra fabric is your friend.

Recently, I had a collision with another cyclist. When I stood up to him about his aggressive riding, he pedalled off, shouting, "I bet you wish you were a man!" I shot back, "I don’t, but I bet you do."

Still, this exchange got me thinking about how much easier it is to be a bloke. Not only would I score more pay and promotions, but my phone conversations would take 30 seconds, tops. Hairdressers wouldn’t charge me triple for a trim. I’d never have to worry about stray chin hairs or shave anything below the epiglottis, including no more of that painful pubic deforestation. I’d even have a choice about whether or not to grow a moustache.

And oh, the joy of not having to stay dehydrated all day to avoid a long loo queue at the theatre later on. Plus, at the post-show dinner, I could mansplain the plot, then manspread on the train home.

Best of all, I would no longer have to be nice. As a female, I’m such a people pleaser... and if you don’t like that, then I can change! But as a guy, I wouldn’t have to apologise for anything. I could just do what the hell I want.

Imagine being able to stroll past building sites and not get catcalled, and walk home alone at night with no fear.

Who wouldn't want to be a Silver Fox?

I could also lick an ice cream without every guy in the vicinity imagining me naked. And gain 10kg without being judged, meaning that I’d never have to forgo pudding.

Four pairs of shoes would be adequate for my entire life. And I could wear whatever I want. As a middle-aged woman, if I don a short skirt or flash bare arms, I’m immediately arrested by the fashion police with cries of, ‘What night is it? Grab a granny?’

I’ve yet to ever hear a man derided as ‘mutton dressed as ram.’

Nor would I be dismissed as an old crone, a bag or a hag. In fact, wrinkles and grey hair would add character.

And on Tinder, women half my age would swipe right on me because I’m a Silver Fox.

Being female does have some advantages

Granted, car mechanics wouldn’t lie to me. No one would presume that I can’t parallel park, either. If I carried a friend’s wailing baby around a supermarket strapped to my chest, shoppers wouldn’t glare but look at me adoringly.

Plus, if I’m passed over for promotion due to my general ineptitude, I can simply blame women.

After a brief phase of domination – roughly all of recorded history up to now – I can still whinge about how men are being demonised and discriminated against.

I may even throw in a caustic complaint about how my female colleagues slept their way to the top (a curious accusation, as there are so few women up there).

But, there are multiple good things about being female – as in multiple orgasms. Plus our multiple friends, allowing us to have a good cackle at all of the above. We also live longer than men...

Although on second thoughts, that’s just so typical of blokes – leaving all the cleaning up to a woman!

DIY should really be renamed DYI – Do Yourself In. I speak from painful personal experience. Like many women who grew up with capable dads, I never learnt my way around a toolbox. I call every gadget a ‘thingy’. My only DIY procedure is the highly technical art of whacking any electronic device until it works again.

Thank goodness wine bottles have twist tops because sometimes even a corkscrew is beyond me.

When the fuse box blew recently, and my kids and I were reduced to feeling our way around the house, not one electrician I called was available until, oh, the next millennium, so I was forced to tackle the problem myself. This involved putting the thingamabob inside the whatchamacallit, turning the doohickey clockwise, then thwacking it with a stiletto heel and... hey presto! Let there be light!

Emboldened by my success, I decided that to be a truly independent feminist, the time had come to tackle my odd jobs. As should all women – let’s be honest, we could reach pension age before husbands get around to their assigned To-Do lists.

After investing in a toolbox, I tried to fix anything that blew up, leaked or fumed. Needless to say, phone calls have started coming through on the toaster, and when I turn on the TV, the shower runs. But it’s a start, right?

Delving into warranties and manuals

Forget Booker Prize-winning tomes, my reading is now limited to warranties and instruction manuals. And I’ve learnt so much, though mainly that as soon as your hands become sticky with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll suddenly be desperate to pee.

Also, Allen keys; who the hell was Allen and why was he such a sadist?!

I’ve also learnt that humiliation and DIY go hand in hand. I can still hear my neighbour’s laughter when I had to call for rescue after accidentally building myself into an Ikea cabinet.

Although I did enjoy the look of befuddlement on friends’ faces after informing them that I’d recently come out of the closet.

Houses are like men

Refusing to admit defeat, I sought out expert online tutorials on various YouTube channels that promise to ‘cater to all your home decor and maintenance needs’.

Despite studying hundreds of self-help videos, I’m now defrosting frozen mince in the clothes dryer because my microwave’s on the blink, and sporting an impromptu perm from a faulty wire I foolishly fiddled with at the back of the fridge.

Having botched so many projects, I fear my house will soon be taking out a restraining order against me. In short, houses are like men – best not to get involved with one that needs fixing.

In fact, my top DIY technique is to divorce your house and move to a brand-new one.

Having just put together a flat-pack kitchen cabinet, only to discover I have 32 screws left over, I’ve decided there’s only one thing I’m good at making – friends who are good at DIY. And I don’t need a poxy Allen key for that.

Not many cosmetics boast an origin story like a Marvel superhero - but NARS The Multiple has one, and here's how it goes:

The year was '96, the town was Manhattan, the setting, a Harper's Bazaar photoshoot. Our protagonist, makeup artist François Nars, is pitted against five contemporaries to create the spring look in three hours. Nars rebelled, took one burnt orange lipstick to supermodel Carolyn Murphy's face, and was done in 10 minutes flat. Kapow! An era-defining look was created, and one creamy makeup stick to rule them all, conceptualised.

I love this bit of backstage lore, and the idea of Apprentice-style makeup challenges. But, the best thing to come out of this saga was OG multipurpose makeup stick, The Multiple, which has had a 2025 facelift that makes it worth bringing back your attention.

Why this multitasking makeup stick is my beauty buy of the week

Maybe you've already tried The Multiple. It's one of those iconic beauty hall of famers that combine a prestigious legacy with current relevance - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill of beauty, if you will.

Even if you haven't, you can guess how handy it is to use one product instead of cream blush, lipstick, and cream eyeshadow. These 'blend-with-your-fingers' sticks create a look that gels together without you having to think about it, and are a total gift for holidays and handbags.

That aside, forget what you know because The Multiple has been reformulated. They're still designed to be used all over the shop (the shop being your face) with wink-wink-nudge-nudge names, but the formula, feel, and finish are all pretty different.

Now for my big hot take: Makeup sticks designed for your eyes, cheeks, and lips usually do two areas brilliantly and look a bit off on the third one.

Powdery shades - like peachy Dazed (above) or the plaster-pink Sex Appeal look sophisticated on cheeks and eyes, but sickly on the lips. Conversely, punchier reds like Fierce give life to lips and cheeks, but (editorial photoshoots aside) are a harder sell on eyelids.

That goes for all makeup sticks, not just The Multiple, and considering that few of us wear a bold lip and eye simultaneously anyway, there's still a whole look in a stick here. Plus, as a hellraising operatic rocker with a penchant for 9-minute-long songs once wisely sang, two out of three ain't bad. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday

The career impact of maternity leave is an issue I feel passionately about - even as one of the lucky ones with a supportive workplace and a partner who was able to take meaningful leave himself.

Becoming a parent rarely makes anyone's work life easier. But I did learn some home truths during my year at home with the bairn that have undoubtedly made me a better beauty editor.

Because it's easy to say that X is the best mascara or that luxury skincare brand Y is a must-try when products are free, unlimited, and testing them is your full-time job. Then, the tap was turned off for 12 months and I quickly learned which beauty buys were truly worth my depleted cashflow, time and energy reserves. Here's one I couldn't get enough of.

Why this DIY eyebrow tint is my beauty buy of the week

Like many regretful Millennials, I spent my teen years aspiring to a tadpole eyebrow shape and my sparse arches never recovered. They've also thinned out with age, making me look inexplicably tired and surprised all at once - but brow tinting is transformative.

Famously, having the time for beauty appointments is not a perk of being stuck at home looking after a tiny baby, but Amazon Prime-ing things to your house during 4 am feeds is. That's how L'Oreal's brilliant Brow Color dropped onto my doormat and into my life.

If you've never tried home eyebrow tinting, let me say it is one of the few - maybe the only - DIY beauty treatment where I see no difference, results-wise, from paying full whack at a salon.

It looks as good, lasts as long, maybe three weeks for me, and is, obviously, very cheap and convenient. I still book pro threading though, because that truly is an art form.

Finally, may I ask, nay, implore you to do the patch test? I know it's boring, and you've probably tried dyes before with no ill effects. But these allergies come on fast and are no joke. I'm coming over all maternal here, but I'd really hate for you to hurt yourself. Sounds good? Great! Let's chat next Sunday.

I hope it's not too London-centric of me to say, crikey, it's warm out there. I've conducted a due diligence regional temperature check, and if Edinburgh's nudging the upper 20s, it's probably safe to assume everyone's feeling hot, hot, hot.

I don't know how you feel about heat styling your hair right now, but even my best hair dryer, with the gentlest settings, is not seeing any action. My limp air-dried 'do will do just fine for the most part, but when my social life comes calling, I do want to look a tad more groomed and intentional.

Enter the ghd Wave - a device that clamps over large sections of hair, smoothing frizz and adding a loose, bendy wave that looks a bit French, or Kate Moss-like. It also takes, geniunely, five minutes or less to style my whole head of (very long, fairly fine) hair, sweat-free, and I don't even bother blow-drying it smooth first.

Stylists often advise learning how to curl hair with straighteners to create a beachy, bendy texture, and I bow down to anyone who's got that knack - but I'd also say, why bother?

The Wave does that same undone thing in five minutes flat without all that twisting-turning-potential-finger-burning. I air-dry my hair, split it into six fat sections, clamp it twice per section, mist on hairspray, and job's a good'n!

Admittedly, something that's not better about this, vs a curling wand, is that it's massive. It has to be massive because it needs three barrels, and those three barrels all need to be big enough to create waves, not tight zig-zag crimps as many waving tools do.

It's not as heavy as other triple-barreled devices I've tried, but I probably wouldn't take it away with me on holiday - unless you travel in such style that you swerve mean airline baggage restrictions, you lucky duck.

It is absolutely a great one to have in your house, though. Plugged in by the mirror, ready to go for efficient heatwave-proof hair styling that makes you feel like the insouciant French woman (or iconic Croydon supermodel) you always wished you could be.