8 Of Victoria Wood’s Most Memorable Quotes

Comedian Victoria Wood has died aged 62 after a ‘short but brave’ battle with cancer, it has been announced.

Victoria is perhaps best-known for her 1980s TV series Victoria Wood As Seen On TV, and during her successful career as an actress and comedian she went on to win five BAFTAs. In 2008 she was awarded a CBE, and more recently she appeared on The Great Comic Relief Bake Off and Sky 1’s Fungus.

A long-time collaborator with the likes of Julie Walters and Celia Imrie, Victoria also wrote and starred in hit sitcom Dinnerladies and more recently ITV’s Housewife.

But despite her long list of career achievements, it is perhaps her sunny personality and witty comments that we will most remember her by. Here are 8 of her most memorable quotes…

“All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn’t want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.”

“Life’s not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.”

“I haven’t got a waist. I’ve just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing.”


“I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don’t know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.”

“I know I’ve got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I’ve got a lifesaving certificate but I don’t spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.”

“If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It’s only when you act as if you’re someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.”

“If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.”

“Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.”

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