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We all want to be that person you just can?t pin an age on and are certainly not define by their age ? and the older we get, the more likely we are to give birthdays the brush off and declare that ?age is just a number?.
If you?re ageless, you know what it means to live life to the full. You don?t want to ?outrun time? or ?stop the clock? – and you certainly don?t base what you should or shouldn?t do on the age you happen to be or the age you wish you were. If you?re ageless, you don?t believe the best days are all behind you. You?re focussed on the future ? and making the most of every moment.
What exactly does it mean to have an ageless attitude to life – and how do you get it? We ask the experts: Dr. Christiane Northrup, leading authority in woman’s wellness and bestselling author, and Sam Owen, psychologist and relationship coach.
As the years pass by and responsibilities pile high (children, mortgage, elderly parents), the pursuit of pleasure often falls along the wayside. Seeking fun can seem superfluous and selfish when you?ve ?grown up? and recast yourself as endlessly giving and selflessly serving. That?s when we start thinking in terms of ?guilty pleasures.?
So perhaps you book a massage ? though you may apologise for it or even avoid telling your partner. But nothing drains the life force like trying to please everyone else and never yourself. If you?re ageless, you recognise the importance of making time to nurture your soul by losing yourself in whatever feels good ? whether that?s dinner with friends, binge watching The Good Wife or sinking into a warm bath by candlelight. Pleasure is a priority not a treat. No apologies needed.
An ageless person does not let the physical clutter of life, the accumulation of years, pile up and block out pleasure. Make sure your home is not stuffed with clutter that instantly reveals you take care of others and not yourself. Create a space where you feel happy and sensual every day ? not just on special occasions.
Remember how you moved as a child, before you internalised other people?s ideas of how you should and shouldn?t move? Remember the first time you raced downhill on a bike or did a somersault? When we?re very young, we move because we want to find out what?s possible with our bodies. Sometimes that exploration ends abruptly when movement is turned into ?physical education?, and ?competitive sport? and ?proving ourselves?. Once the joy is lost, you can find your adult self staying sedentary, or trudging miserably to the gym to work the treadmill. But the ageless keep moving with joy and curiosity intact. Movement is a way to embrace adventure. Whether it?s flinging off your sandals to run barefoot on the beach or getting on a horse, if you?re ageless, you move because you want to stretch yourself ? and there?s always more to learn.
It could mean having the courage to stop dying your grey hair… or finally feeling able to start dying it because it makes you feel better. When it comes to appearance, only you can decide what makes you feel ageless. Forget which hair style is deemed appropriate – or inappropriate. When choosing clothes be led by your best features and what makes you feel fantastic, not your faults. The ageless woman doesn?t slavishly follow trends but if a trend draws her in, she?ll take it up, whether or not it?s aimed at her. And agelessness also means finally having the courage to say, ?I?m not sure, I?d like some help!? That could mean splashing out on a day with a personal stylist or asking the friend who has the gift of style.
The ageless couple take nothing for granted, however long they?ve been together. It means noticing and appreciating what you have – while understanding that there is always more to discover. You and your partner should be aware of all that you do for each other ? making that cup of tea in the morning and taking the dog out. Appreciation helps us be grateful for something ? and also feel more positive about ourselves. Variety is important too – the ageless couple seek out novelty, regularly opting for the ?exciting? (a concert/an art class) over the ?pleasant? (dinner and a film). It also means spending time apart to develop interests and passions alone. Your partner isn?t responsible for your happiness ? and having your own life makes you a far more interesting companion! Physical touch is important. Sex, yes, but also a squeeze of the hand, an arm around the shoulder. Research shows that physical contact is almost like a drug ? when our partner touches we experience a mild high, and feel less stressed. Most couples touch regularly when they first get together ? the ageless couples make sure that never stops.