my story is similar to gre1958. My middle son (yes 3 boys) came home from uni 2 years ago, and I told him then that we would review the situation in 2 years. He has worked only sporadically since, (about 15 months out of 24) paid some rent but only when working, treated his room and the kitchen like a student flat and treated the place like a hotel. My OH (sons stepfather) and I have nearly split up about it. 4 months ago I told him that he had to be out of the house by the end of june, and reminded him several times. He is moving out to his dad's , very reluctantly, this week . I have told him that I love him to bits but do not want to live with him as an adult any longer. When YS returns from uni next year he will get the same deal. The last couple of years have not been fun and the last 4 months even less so - I have shed more tears than I knew I had because he is my son and I don't want to hurt him, but in the end I have realised that I have a right to a life too and he is an adult. my advice? lay your cards on the table from the start, make it clear that it is your house and your rules. give deadlines and stick to them. hopefully my son will eventually appreciate that what I have done is in his best interests too and return to being the lovely loving son that he used to be. .Pam x
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