Hi, I know how you feel. In some ways I was lucky as my ex had the affair and that made the decision and the break for me. If he hadn't I don't know if I would still be there. It takes alot of courage to leave, but it also gives you alot of courage. I also cannot advise an affair as I know the damage it does. If you want out, then make that decision for yourself - do not use an affair as an excuse or reason. Best of luck and do what you need to do for you