No it's not you at all nowcemsi. It is something that is close to your heart which as much as you have moved on built your life back up and gone on and married again is still there in parts and you have a daughter that is a constant reminder of that time. We all have that 'what if' in our heads and when we see or hear something very emotive as you have tonight it will trigger strong emotions. I heard a Marvin Gaye song tonight (Baby love me one more time) that i haven't heard for a long time. I was in a relationship that was wrong and had met this most wonderful guy who i so wanted to be with, he left for America after a wonderful night with it culminating in us dancing to this record and us so wanting to be together. Fate played its part and this is my lasting memory of him and there is now the what if factor that comes in, even though i got out of the other relationship and am now happily ( most of the time) married with two children. I will never see L again but what if always springs to mind. I think it is for youth lost and life lost and for very much what might have been, even though we have coped with the harsh realities of life inbetween. Hope this makes sense to you. Cry and think of what might have been, and then think of what you have got. It is all perfectly natural. I think. YOu are just not warned about this part of life. Big hug. Sarahjane
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