Help needed with this as it's driving me mad and threatening more and more the relationship with my partner. We have lived together for almost four years and my partners children (20, 18 and 16) live 150 miles away with his ex wife. The eldest is away at university but there in the holidays. He goes to visit them (or more specifically the youngest who has the most time for him), every third weekend, leaving Saturday morning and returning on Sunday evening. I know that it's not for long but each time he goes it gets harder and causes more trouble between us.
My brain tells me he has to go but my heart screams out each time, why must he? The kids have very little interest in him, never phone or text or answer his texts. The youngest will still go out with him but only because she knows he'll spend money on her, the other two rarely do. I have tried to like them but the elder two will have nothing to do with me and the youngest after sending me vile and obscene texts behaves so badly in our house that I no longer can bear the thought of her near me.
The thing is, how do I deal with this every time he goes. Obviously I'm not able to go with him as they would never want to be with me and I not with them either. I find it easier if we keep contact to a minimum while he's there, just a few texts is fine as just not knowing what he's doing with them is easier, I can try to put it out of my head then. He also says that if I do anything nice this end, ie. a meal with my kids or taking myself out somewhere, he then finds that hard to deal with so I think we're better off both not knowing but he says he hates that and wants more contact. Any ideas on how others have dealt with this would be so welcome as I'm getting so desperate I'm considering counselling before it becomes any worse. He's away on Sunday till the following Friday on a trip for work and I have no problems with that whatsoever as it's nothing to do with his kids. I just begrudge every minute he spends with them and every penny he spends on them, that makes me sound a terrible person but truly normally I'm not, just when it comes to his children.
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