OLO212....what a shock. Don't know what I would do. However after reading all the posts a thought occurred to me. You say he is struggling to keep up at work with the young ones. In these times of credit crunch/redundancies etc is he really very worried about losing his job? If so and he hasn't said anything to you, perhaps you wanting to discuss holidays made him realise that he has to tell you how things are as there might not be much money about. Just a thought. I might be totally on the wrong thread but some men don't tell their OH that their job is on the line for fear of worrying them. So perhaps he is feeling as if he is letting you down.
Not very good at this as never been in the position.........