Hi - I concur with all that's said so far! One thing, though, you don't mention children, so I take it they are not on the scene. That makes your life much 'freer' in time terms. Assuming your husband works 'business hours' and you only have to 'be there' when he is, then, apart from housework etc, you do get the days to yourself, which is a huge boon.
I would strongly suggest you try doing some voluntary work. There is a vast need for volunteers, in a vast range of types of work, from helping out in an Oxfam shop, to helping old folks, or stressed young mothers, and all manner of things. Helping others is a brilliant way of countering depression, becuase it turns you outward. You don't have to do so much it competes with the time you spend with your husband, but it will, I am sure, make you 'count your blessings' to see and help others worse off. Helping others really does help yourself.
I speak from the heart. I lost my beloved husband of 30 years, to end-stage cancer, unexpectedly, just before Christmas, and my heart is broken, and will never truly mend, and yet I know that what I must do - both for his sake, and my sake, not to mention my own sanity! - is use the time I now have to help others. (That's a key reason I posted about the Eve Appeal for Ovarian cancer!). There's all sorts of things I intend to do, and I know it will help me - and help me get over the appalling loss of my husband, and fill the aching gap that is now in my life, and heal the nightmare I am living through. I will do all I can to stop other families being torn apart as ours has now been.
So, my advice, for what it's worth, is this - accept, as wisely said above, that your husband won't change, but enjoy and appreciate him for what he IS good with you for, but don't make him the centre of your universe. Turn outwards to others, and you will find a richer reward than you can possibly imagine right now.
"For it is in giving, that we receive" (St Francis of Assisi).
All the very best, and this is a dark time you CAN and WILL come through - Julie.
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