Hi Sussexgirl
I know exactly how you feel, my MIL is just the same. I've been with OH 12 years, married 10 and we have 2 children and I've only once (this year) received a birthday card from her! The best thing I can say about my MIL is that we only see them about once a year (usually for about 2 hours near christmas), she never phones and fortunately lives too far away to interfere. I've learnt over the years that she will never change, it's her not me and I try not to let it get to me (not always easy).
I can't offer any advice really, apart from have you spoken to your OH about how you feel? Could he talk to his parents and explain how you both feel when they ignore you? How would you OH feel if you didn't see as much of them, or maybe he could see them occasionally without you?
Good luck and hope things might improve over time.
Deborah 
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