Thanks for the posts ladies....unfortunately, my nephew still has British citizenship so he will be allowed in the UK. SIL won't leave him on his own either in case he trashes her house and he has been known to attempt his own life with overdoses before now. MIL won't have either of them for the same reasons as us..so OH hasn't quite decided what to do yet , we could just ignore the letter. SIL has asked us for money before often thousands of pounds because of her huge debts, which we have refused to lend or give her as there is no control over where the money goes. She would probably give it all to her son who would buy drugs.
I agree she wants a break but if I suggest she comes without her son , she will take it as a personal insult even though he is clearly a nightmare. You see, we should "all love him anyway and make allowances" according to her 
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carpe diem - seize the day!
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Re: nephew ruined my SILs life!
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