Hi Belinda, sorry you are having such a rough time. As if the sudden loss of your mother on top of coping with the menopause were not enough, your H is now acting like a spoiled kid - men can be so selfish, I know where you are coming from.
You've indicated that your sex life is suffering but if your H is giving you grief or simply not caring about all you have on your plate, the sex is unlikely to get better all by itself I'm sorry to say. I think it would be worth you going to councelling yourself a few times to work out what you want - you may even find that you just need more time to decide but at least its a step in the right direction and it will allow you to sort your head out.