Funnily enough, just this week I let my FIL know what I think about their attitude to our family and Christmas. My outlaws haven't had Christmas with their 2 GS for 22 years. They only have the 2. They don't realise how hurtful it is. It is pure selfishness and self-centredness. They don't even think what we might want/not want. Don't get me wrong, every Christmas with them would be horrendous but once in 22 years is not asking too much. It's never a case of "we thought we might go away this year for Xmas" but "we are going to ***** and have booked." Yet they expect us to jump if asked!! They now have a great GS. He's 4 months old and they haven't seen him yet, only in photos because MIL doesn't like DIL. Take it from me, DIL is great.
As to coping with elderly parents when they live far away is extremely difficult, whether in another country or far away from you in this one. It's not so bad when there are the 2 of them and they both have their marbles. However my mother is on her own, is beginning to get dementia (though God help me if I ever used the D word) and is getting very difficult. Whatever you try to do, you can't win.
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